FISHIN' FOR PENGUINS (PART TRES)

The Floss has been speaking about a "secret" plan to reveal why he hasn't posted in forever(still faster than those real people over at the truthbrush), but I lied. The sad excuse is that I had a lot of finals studying to do. Then I had a lot of moving out to do, combined with drinking my face off and going to Happy Valley, not too mention being completely consumed within Pitt Spring Football, the Pens, and the NBA. So here it goes(look for my other write-ups on the Pens and the NHL, the NBA, and the state of Pitt football):

Plans went according to schedule other than RTHB deciding that we should take a long cut to Deer Creek through Penn Hills and Oakmont rather than take the TurnPike like every other American. When RTHB, COF, DROF, and the Floss arrived, we could see the tents. My first reaction was WOW, really testing nature being 20 yards away from our car. The camp/fishing site was only about 100 yards from Pittsburgh Indoor Soccer Arena. The only obstacle in the way was Deer Creek. The creek was about 10 yards wide and about 2 feet deep. From what I had heard before, this creek was a combination of Niagara Falls and Mount Everest in difficulty level. However, all you need is hip waders. Possibly the greatest invention since the wheel or the television. The amazing thing about hip waders is how comfortable they are. I could walk around in hip waders all day. If puddles ever become a problem in Oakland, I'm bringing out the hip waders. What shocked the Floss the most was, that the next morning, after multiple creek crossings and living in muddy, slushy(and meaty, cheesy, syrupy) water for 17 hours, my socks were still dry. Unbelievable. Still dry. Honestly for 20 dollars, hip waders might be the most efficient purchase on the planet. I might paint on some Steeler logos and rock them all tailgate season(if it wasn't dead). The night started out with Tim the HHR making some steak sandwiches on the fire. He even cooked peppers and onions for the steak sandwiches. It would have been nice if he cooked the steak(honestly, the bloodiest steak ever, still great). Then we brought out the radio to listen to Game 2 of the Pens-Sens series. It was a blast to listen to the game, even if we couldn't watch. In case your memory is bad, the Pens win(like every game) on a Ryan Malone wrap around, then he caps it with an empty netter. Then we caught the tail end of a rain delayed Pirates game which ended in a shocking 1-0 win with a Jason Bay homerun. If the Pens and Buccos winning weren't a great sign I don't know what was. After these games ended is when the night started to get blurry. The Floss remembers a blistering rain storm that lasted for under 40 minutes, which was not bad since it was supposed to pour all night. I remember Tim the HHR dropping the line of the night after COF put on his rain gear(yellow jump-suit): "You look like the fag teletubby". Great name drop, but thats why they call him the HHR. The Steelers draft was a big topic of discussion down 'er in Deer Creek. None of us said Mendenhall, but what a great pick that was. The Floss made it through the night after about 6 dips, 12 shots of Old Crow, 12 beers, and a 45 min nap(shits wizzzzzeak). When the morning arrived, we were all drowsy and ready to fish. By the morning, I had noticed many a fishermen had lined up to catch some fish. The morning brought me my first dilemma, go with the old faithful Zebco push button, or with the new fandangled Blue Rod that I do not know how to cast. We went with the old faithful. Since DROF was most certainly drunk and ready to fish, we posted up with about a half hour to go talking about how we both needed to catch a fish. Across the creek were some yinzers who were posted up on a cliff that was probably a 20 foot drop, but enough to be funny if they fell. DROF and the Floss basically made up their conversations for the remaining 30 minutes. Most went like this:
DROF as yinzer: "Dang ol, dang ol, yous know Ima catch da biggest trout today"
Floss as yinzer: "Shoot, I a been out fisherin you for yeeeeaaaaaaaaaarrrsss"
DROF: "Do you want a Busch?(Then he would try to push the actual Floss in the water while distracting him with one of these anecdotes)

So when 8 o clock came, I remember it as not being as New Years Eve as I had hoped. DROF and I casted out into the water. Then the most amazing thing happened, I actually reeled in a trout. The excitement was great, but the Pitt Blue-Gold Game was next weekend, so we didn't get too far ahead of ourselves. But the flood gates were open on this morning, everyone caught 5+ fish, none of them much bigger than the others. I don't even know what else to say about opening day of trout. It was just awesome. Nothing too crazy happened. It was just a great day. Maybe next year someone will fall into the water or off a cliff. I don't know. For now the Floss is just ready for a great fishin' season.

FISHIN' FOR PENGUINS(PART DUECE)

The weather sucks out tonight, good thing the Pens play indoors. Sadly being unable to watch the game, the Floss will be listening on his crank radio and relying on text messages which will be sent to his cell phone in a ziploc bag. DROF and the Floss managed to keep it pretty low key last night. We both broke the no liquor rule, but no hangover for me today. DROF a mild hangover, so all in all we are quite ready. The only problem in the forseeable future is that we dined at Golden Corral for lunch today. For those of you who don't know, it is a buffet where the food goes out as fast as it comes in. A long night in the woods with irritable bowels could lead to worse fishing and a mean Floss. DROF and I were supposed to buy "bait rags" for the gang tonight, but upon going to the local bait n tackle shop, we were laughed at and told to use old rags from home. I did purchase a 15 dollar full rain gear suit. The package looked really legit, but it was another example of getting what you pay for. I should have stuck with garbage bags. The trip was not a complete waste. Behind the backs of COF and others, DROF and I decided to pick up a handle of THE Old Crow whiskey for the trip(Why sail with the captain when you can fly with the crow?). Honestly, 3 30 packs for what looks now like 17 hours(7-12) of drinking in the rain. We thought you were better than that COF. For the fans who are Pitt students or wannabe Pitt students(B Man), when you wake up tomorrow look for the Victory Lights to be on at the Cathedral signaling the shark that the Floss has reeled in. GOOOOOOO FISHHHHH

GAME DOS

What a game one for the Pens? Could you have asked for a better start. 2 goals from the 4th line. Malkin got off to a hot start. Sid didn't need to do anything, and we still got a W. Physically we sent a message. Fleury got his confidence sky high. The penalty kill was awesome, killing 2 partial 5 on 3 situations. Game dos will be a different game though. Ottawa is probably going to come out very fired up after the game one ass-whooping. I see a tough one tonight for the Pens. I'm saying the Pens win on an OT goal by Jordan Staal. He has been coming so close. It's almost like why not him tonight? 2-1 in OT. LETS GO PENS

FISHIN' FOR PENGUINS

With warm weather starting to rear it's beautiful head, that can mean only one thing, it is spobby(sport+hobby) season. This Saturday kicks off trout season. Fishin', which ranks as the Floss' number 2 spobby(1. Golf, 2. Fishin, 3. Softball) will begin at 8 AM sharp on Saturday morning. For all of you who know the Floss', his family, and friends, starting at 8 AM clearly wouldn't make sense. Now, for the fishing afficianado's out there, our lines will not be in the water until 8 AM, but the fishin' adventure will start much earlier. How much earlier? 15 LONG hours. At approximately 5 PM on Friday, COF will pick up DROF and myself. Who else will accompany us? Jah Banni(http://jahbanni.blogspot.com/2007_04_08_archive.html, blog of last years adventure), RTHB(Red Titted Hoss Bear), Mick(50 years young, much respect), Rick(COF and Jah Banni's co-worker, only met once), and Tim the HHR(read the other blog for details, Rick's step-father). Since the Floss basically only picked up fishin' last year out of pressure from COF, this will be his inagural trip.

Last night, thanks to the B Man, the Floss was able to get the main necessities for Saturday. They included a brand new fishin' pole, some line for the pole, hip waders, and a fishin' license. The funniest part of the trip was trying to find the right hip waders. Little did DROF or the Floss know, there was a difference between the waders with the foam on the bottom and the ones without. Since we both picked the waders with foam on them, it led to an interesting convo.
DROF: "We just rip this foam off once we take them out of the bag?"
Floss: "Yeah, It probably just keeps them packed better"
DROF: "Okay, thats what I thought"
When DROF checked out, I noticed that the waders were 29.99 instead of the advertised 19.99. Quickly I pointed this out to DROF after he paid. So we got a customer service representative(who was eye raping the hell out of the sexy cashier at the time) to find out where that ten dollars was located. Turns out that the ten dollars was actually the foam pieces on the bottom of the waders. They actually are called felt-bottom waders which makes it more pleasant when you step on rocks. Of course, we took the extra ten spot in our pockets over the rock-friendly waders. Currently I'm taking bets on what kind of injury DROF and I will suffer from having the normal rubber bottom waders.

The Floss also is preparing to make a list of things that he will definitely need to bring for the trip Friday/Saturday. The list looks something like this:
New Rod(currently nameless, suggestions welcomed)
Natalie Bass(backup rod, great name)
Fishin' Vest(Xmas present from MOF)
Hat(gonna rain, notice, not a fitted)
Backup Clothes(honestly, right now the odds are at least 2:1 that I fall in the water)
Tackle Box
Fishin' Chair(on the shoulders of COF)
Fishin' License(probably going to forget and have to pretend to be <16 years old, not hard so long as I'm not in the sweater vest)
Skoal x 2(Loooooooonnnng Night)

Really I have no idea why I'm so excited for opening day this year. Last year, the number of legitimate fish the Floss reeled in is definitely countable on two hands. I guess I'm just looking at it from a baseball perspective. Since I didn't get in a full season last year, the Floss is still a rookie of the year candidate. Since the Floss is most definitely a negative Nancy, I have thought about things that could mess this trip up. They start and end with alcohol. First it starts Thursday night, while the Floss is currently vowing to not drink Thursday, this probably won't happen. More realistically is DROF who is pledging no Vlad Thursday(probably would need legal representation to make this dream a reality). Then we turn to Friday and when to start boozing. The belief here is that we are going to leave for the creek(crick) at 6PM(Deer Creek is in Indianola, PA, 35 min away). With a drive like that, no doubt DROF is going to want a "roadie". Shit, we could be goin' down the street and DROF would want a roadie. Even if I don't start drinking 'til a more reasonable time like 8, that is still 12 hours of drinking. Last Friday I completed 17 hours of drinking, so saying it can't be done is a lie. However, the stupid old heads will probably dare me to do something like 42 shotguns in a row, and like Tom Petty, I won't back down. With all of this said, if we run out of beer, the blame goes squarely on COF's shoulders. Sorry, but facts are facts. If we need a keg, I will build a raft for the stupid creek, just don't let us run out of booze.

Basically, to all the loyal fans of the Floss I want your support. When you wake up Saturday morning, your first thought/txt message of the day is too see how many fish I caught. Again more realistically was I alive for the fishing. See now I'm excited.

BREAKING THE CURSE

I'm breaking the Floss' Curse on the Pens by writing about them right now. While I'm excited for opening day of fishin', I'm pissed that I will be missing game 2 of the Ottawa-Pens series. However, COF assures me that his 44 dollar crank radio will come through. First things first, we have game one. Bryan Murray is a d-bag for thinking that we tanked it on Sunday against the Flyers to get his team. He knows they are weak and is making a public plea to get his team fired up. Sorry Murray, your team is going to shit the bed tonight. 5-1 Pens, 2 for Sid, 1 for Geno, 1 for Malone, and 1 for Ryan Whitney. Here is who the Floss would be playing for Game 1:
Talbot--Sid--Hossa
Sykora--Malkin--Malone
Dupuis--Staal--Ruutu
Whitney(for 7th defense)--Beech--Laraque

Gonchar--Scuderi
Gill--Letang
Orpik--Sydor

COME ONE COME ALL

I've flipped sides on things before, this is one of those times. I have been bashing baseball since the blog was in existence, but reserve a seat for me on the Bucco Bandwagon. The Floss doesn't really know much about John Russell other than I love his attitude. Jim Tracy seemed like a bitter individual, so everyone knew he would never win. Russy Russ seems like a players manager. It just might be what the Pirates needed. I also like to envision the speech he got before he accepted the job to go like this..."Well John, we don't have the players right now to win. The team isn't in place for you to win baseball games. Just promote development, get a guy to have a career year, keep the guys happy, and next year you will be rewarded with your team". Then Russy Russ just walked out, thinking that the Pirates ownership is bullshit, and he was gonna win now. So he just motivate himself to play each game like it was the World Series. While this team won't stick around for probably half the year, right now they have a nice little team out there(minus Gomez and Rivas, Bixler please). If Nate McClouth can keep up his torrid pace through three games, he could be the homeless man's Grady Sizemore. Who doesn't love that hunk Sizemore? What? X gon' give it to ya might be the best Pirate. He is going to be tough to give up at the All Star break. Hopefully this won't happen because the Bucs don't lose more than 22 games til then. One of the reason's for this optimism is DROF, his drunken love of the Pirates makes me want them to win for him. He has no concept of the 162 game season. When the Buccos won the opener, you would have thought they clinched the division or even won the World Series. And now he goes on to play Hannah Montana? Lord. Just jump on the bandwagon. The Floss is wasting valuable Goldfish eating time.