Thursday, April 23, 2009

WHAT UP PITTSBURGH!


Before I embark on my comeback Floss, I would just like to say I am happy with all of the fan support wanting the return. That being said, please do not comment negatively about how long its been. Don't live in the past people. Here we go...please read all of the post cause the Floss knows everyone will enjoy the last part.

WHAT I'M FEELIN'
Biwwie(Billy) da kid Stull. 5th in the nation in passer efficiency. There isn't a person around who saw this coming. Not even Biwwie himself probably expected 11 TD's to 1 INT, plus a rushing TD. Coming in at 52 and 53 on the list Terrelle Pryor and Daryll Clark respectively. Who's the real Heisman contender?

WHAT I'M NOT FEELIN'
This disgusting cold the Floss has. Really it sucks because I'm not sick enough to justify skipping class and going to Student Health. I mainly avoid Student Health at all costs cause it's no fun to be overweight, chew 3 cans a week, and drink 4 nights a week most weeks. No one likes that let down. Just let the Floss get the fuckin' swine baby.

WHAT I'M FEELIN'
Big Joe's Pizzeria and Deli. None of yinz or y'all know much about this gem of an establishment that has been in Oakland since only July. A brief rundown, they sell 1 pound burgers, 24 inch hoagies, and the Panther Pie(Pepperoni, Sausage, Ham, Capicolla, Bacon, Salami, Mozzerella, Provolone). Talk about schmeaty and cheesy. Not too mention I met Big Joe, he truly is a Big Joe. Anybody with a menu as stacked as his should be a fat guy. ALWAYS trust a fat guy serving your food.

WHAT I'M NOT FEELIN'
Hippies. The G-20 really brought some terrible people into da Burgh da Burgh da Burgh and also to Oakland. Really, hippies are the worst people no doubt. Forget race, ethnicity, gender, religion, etc. I don't care, hippies are the worst. They wear old, tattered clothes. They smell like grundle mix with porta potty. They have long, grimy, sometimes braided hair. They act like they are poor and the economy is screwing them, yet they have 96 piercings and are covered in tattoos. All things that cost money. Worst people.

WHAT I'M FEELIN'
Ben Roethlisberger. He looks good this year, like really good. He won't win the MVP or probably go to the Pro Bowl, but expecting another ring is not out of the question. Plus last night, he became a member of Degeneration X. No quarterback holds that record.

WHAT I'M NOT FEELIN'
My North Carolina suit. A distant cousin of the yinzer suit, the Carolina suit the
Floss wore while visiting COF in Greensboro consisted of jeans, a tucked in white t, and a Jim Beam baseball hat. Little did I know, we went to legitimate bars where most people were in the college aged crowd and were not hicks at all. Epic Fail.

WHAT I'M FEELIN'--QUICK HITTERS
-Southern Hospitality
-Rashard Mendenhall and Mike Wallace
-Strippers
-Everything about football season
-The 2 A's I got back yesterday
-The breast cancer awareness hats in the NFL
-A return Floss

WHAT I'M NOT FEELIN'--QUICK HITTERS
-Bret Favre's success, disgusting
-Limas Sweed
-The SEC bias
-Jon Gruden as a MNF analyst minus the Pitt plug

*********EATING CHALLENGE

The Floss has scheduled an eating challenge for himself this Friday at approx. 1PM. Back to Big Joe's and his Little Joe burger. I ate one this past Friday with an order of fries. It is a legit 1 LB burger, literally no fat runs off. It was unbelievably great tasting. This Friday the Floss will be embarking on a mission to eat 2 of them. The burgers will contain cheese, onions, tomatoes, and BBQ sauce. Before anyone asks for a change of time or date, let me just say that this time was specifically chosen to keep the Floss from drinking on Thursday(money's tight) and keeping Friday open as a drinking evening, since the burgers should digest by about 7 or 8. I would love any LFOF(Loyal Followers of the Floss) who reside in Oakland to attempt to attend the event. Some potential rule items, how many minutes? Right now I'm between 32(number of oz of meat) and 60 minutes(even hour) for time. Should the Floss be forced to eat an order of fries as well? Unlimited drinks during or restricted amount of water? Look for a Friday afternoon post to summarize the event. Leave comments. Thank You.




8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good to have you back. Great welcome back blog. it's only 2 lbs. an hour seems too long. yes eat the fries. unlimited amount of drink. if you finish the challenge, i'll foot the bill and mail a check since i won't be able to attend.

-CINC

Jah Banni said...

So what you're saying is that there are sixty minutes in an even hour? Are you sure? Regardless, I'd vote for 45 minutes. 60 minutes is cliche and 32 is gross. Or pick your favorite Pitt player's jersey number and do that many minutes. It splits the difference. I wish I could be there.

Anonymous said...

Great to have you back!!!
Agree, 1 hr is too long. I say 38 minutes which is the # of points your fav NFL team put on the score board this past wkend.
Wish I could be there. Can you video this?

FFOF

Anonymous said...

Thinking about coming home to read the return of the floss got me through my last hour of work. The carolina suit ruled. I'm pretty upset I can't see this eating challenge since i have been wanting you to do one for years. Billy can do whatever he likes, but lets not forget about our running game that hasn't lost a step since the great shady days are in the past... The panther pie sounds better than puntang pie.

-dr.of

word v: addicn
dr.of is getting addicn to online gambeling, go tigers.

Anonymous said...

Floss,

Glad to see your back. It's been a long time in coming and the anticipation has been killing us. Is the Tour De Court still an option for the upcoming season? Let your followers know.


-double nickel

word v: sinagin

"I once saw Dr.Of bong a whole deer park bottle of Tanqueray. It was a sin a gin"

Anonymous said...

First of all, I obviously LOVE the title of this post. Talk about a captive headline - very effective. Secondly, you are an absolute treat. I was first informed about this blog over dinner tonight at Hemingway's and knew I had to be a part of it. If only you could post a video of your custom dance to Party in the USA on here...Anyway, great luck with the burger on Friday, LET'S GO PITT, and WHAT'S UP PITTSBURGH!!??

Anonymous said...

Floss,

Glad to see your back. Definitely want to see this burger challenge on friday, try to move it to 2 pm.

- Stanecsworth

word v: ingin

Floss needs his ingin goin' to down the second pounder.

Anonymous said...

Nice to have you back Floss, hope you can get the blog up and rolling again. Seems the LFOF have remained. Looking forward to a Panthers victory and celebatory Floss this weekend.

-Mr. S

Word V: bromice

Make no Romeus about it, The Floss and Dub Nick love their bromice.

Oh yea, no citations this weekend, the porta-johns are there for a reason Floss.