ENDING IT RIGHT NOW

When the Floss started this blog it was a mere effort to rival the TruthBrush blog run by two of the Floss' favorite people, JahBanni(Truth Brush) or whatever he is known to you and Aimin' for Failure. It was set up to poke fun at them as well as the Floss. The FalseFloss was created for an orginal core group of LFOF(Loyal Followers of the Floss). As the Floss has grown, as has the number of LFOF. Many of the new LFOF(Mr. Shenanigans and Jesus Stanecsworth in particular, also Dub Nick) are great people who provide great commentary and insightful comments about whatever topics were addressed in the Floss.

This is the 99th post in the history of the FalseFloss. The comments section on the FalseFloss started out with about an average of maybe 2 to 3 comments per blog. Nowadays, we hit 10+ with most posts. I used to be happy about reaching 10+ comments, but it has gotten out of control. Every post has turned into a pissing match between the MC(Mad Commenter) and his weekly target(s). Truthfully, you have had about 4 funny jokes EVER. Calling you out probably will only add fuel to your fire, but I don't care because this is just getting out of hand.

Honestly, the FalseFloss is done with your bullshit. It's fucking over you piece of shit Internet tough guy. I used to be worried that the MC was a LFOF in disguise, but after the last comment in "Beard Season" I realized that you couldn't possibly be a LFOF. No one that the Floss converses with will EVER challenge the meaning of sports in today's society.

Am I a sad person because in the morning instead of watching any local or national news in the morning, I tune into Mike and Mike and listen about sports? No I'm not. Is it sad that the 3rd and 4th websites I visit each day are Pantherlair.com and Pantherdigest.com? Actually that might be sad, but it's because that DOES matter to me more than all of the other bullshit in this country. Seriously, am I supposed to wake up and care about the current political issues? Try and make a compelling argument that any of that matters more than sports. So what if I care about what 30 college players the Steelers bring to their SouthSide facilities more than who wins a local state representative election. Do I take sports to seriously? ABSOLUTELY. I will be the first to admit that sports for me turn emotional way too much when they are meant to be entertainment. However, they do mean a HELL of a lot to me. When the Steelers won the SuperBowl did it change my life in any significant way? Probably not, but I will always remember the day we took home number 6. The same way Mr. Shenanigans will remember seeing his first title in Philly's history. Not too mention these are happy moments that we will remember throughout our lives. Sports are the good memories people remember, sadly they can be cloudied by some of the sadder things that will be remembered like the shooting of the 3 Pittsburgh Police Officers. I want to tell my kids some day about Larry Fitzgerald almost ruining the Super Bowl for me, but Ben Roethlisberger leading one of the best drives EVER to win the game. Just like Mr. S will tell his kids about seeing Brad Lidge strikeout the last batter for the DRays(sure he knows the name) and the legendary call from Harry Kalas. These are the things that last on forever and ever. The way it should be.

After saying all of this, I don't even care what comments you can make. The Floss has just discovered that since the blog is essentially mine that I have all rights to delete comments made by anyone for any reason. So I would just like to let you know that your comments will not be had on the Floss any more. As the FalseFloss carries itself into and beyond the Century Mark post, we will be doing it without the MC to provide his miserable and awful commentary.

Thank You LFOF for all of your commentary over the 99 posts. Please make comments about what you would like to see in the 100th post.

WV: DoucheBag

I am glad the False Floss will continue without the comments of the MC, boy was he a DOUCHEBAG.

P.S. Not actually my Word V

BEARD SEASON

Quietly the Floss has been following the Pens this year. No love in the blog since many fans prefer the non sports posts, and the Pitt Panthers basketball run deserved all of the sports talk. Now after the best postseason(NCAA tourney), we get the second best post season, the hockey playoffs. Reasons I like the hockey playoffs more than any other playoffs:
--Number of games. With 7 game series, you are guaranteed to get to see your favorite team in at least 4 games.
--Playoff Beards. I love playoff beards in any sport.
--Short Layoffs. In the NBA, they have 3 day layoffs a lot which makes you forget about the games. It also loses the emotional connection. A day between games leads to that emotional hatred you get for the opponents.
--Hockey. It's nearly impossible to follow the hockey season due to lack of national coverage. During the playoffs, you can actually get into the playoffs. For the Floss watching other hockey teams play only once a year is pretty special.

ON TO THE FLYERS...

The hatred for the Flyers hasn't left anyone on this team or anyone in the city of Pittsburgh. This series is different than last years series in many ways. The Flyers are coming in struggling this year versus last year when they were on fire. The Pens come in this year with experience, but maybe a less talented team. The Floss was pissed when Malone left town this offseason, but has Chris Kunitz replaced him? I actually think he might be better than Malone. He is faster on skates than Malone, and he also attacks the net as much as Malone did. Kunitz has replaced him. Bill Guerin is no Marian Hossa, but he has been playing well. Plus since he wasn't really trying hard playing for the worst team in hockey, his legs should be fresh for the playoffs. I can't tell you if this year or last year's Crosby is better, but he is still Sidney Crosby. Malkin IS better than last year and he has 2 years of playoff experience under his belt which will help. Plus his line this year is probably better with Fedotenko over either Malone or Talbot last year. The Pens are also deeper this year lines 1-4. Jordan Staal had his best season and also will be in his 3rd year of playoff hockey. The same can be said for Tyler Kennedy playing his best year. The 4th line has Talbot and Dupuis on it, who were both top 2 line guys for playoff games last year. Everything looks stronger this year. On defense, we have a fresh Gonchar who hasn't played the full grind due to his injury. Kris Letang will also be playing this year, and he has also had a great year.

I think just like last year that the Pens are the only team that can beat themselves in the Eastern Conference. The only thing that scares the Floss is the lack of home ice. As for a prediction...PENS IN 5

HOOTERS

CINC had the idea for this blog today and it literally caught me as a fun topic. Does the Floss like Hooters, you may ask? Heck Yes. However, you truly can overdue Hooters. Some rules for Hooters:

1. Always and I stress always tip >20%. The Hooters tip scale starts at 20% and can only go up.

2. Don't go more than once a month. If you become a regular at a Hooters, it isn't a good thing.

3. Don't go during an important sporting event or one that could potentially become stressful. I watched the end of the 2OT loss for the Pitt hoops team to Oklahoma St. about 4 years ago in a Hooters. Straight miserable cause everyone else there is having a good time, hooting and hollering just enjoying life while your trying not to kill someone.

One of the great things about Hooters is that it literally changed a clothing outfit. No girl will ever wear short orange shorts and a white tank top together because of the perception. It's just a cool thing, kinda like the McDonalds arches. The outfit also makes a great Halloween costume for women. It also puts all of the waitresses on a completely level playing field. Sometimes girls can look hotter by using slutty gear to decieve men. However, with the standard outfits you can pick out which girl is the hottest. It's also a complete necessity that every time you go to Hooters that you pick your favorite waitress and least favorite.

What about the food at Hooters? Really it's not that good. The wings are breaded way too much. However, I know for a fact that CINC likes to order them naked which still produces a pretty good chuckle from a still very immature Floss. The sandwiches don't come with fries so you need to pay extra although they do have Waffle fries. Rule of thumb, things shaped like waffles are always good. The food at Hooters is about a 5 out of 10, but obviously the atmosphere makes up for it.

Eating at Hooters also makes for a lot of great chuckles due to the awkwardness of having the Hooters girl flirt with you the whole time. The Floss' favorite instance was when a dining companion of his pointed out to the Hooters waitress that sometimes "it's hard to get the white stuff out" when trying to open his cup of ranch dressing.

Celebrities? Please one time in Altoona, my Hooters waitress was Sean Burnett's girlfriend. Yeah that Sean Burnett, a lefty specialist in the Majors. Yeah that's right.

Kids? Yes kids are definitely allowed in Hooters. I actually think a responsible father takes their son to Hooters in or around their 13th birthday with no Mom in sight. Actually scratch that, maybe this is a job for a cool uncle. UD will definitely be my choice of uncle to take my son to Hooters. I am fully convinced that this is the reason that DDP(L) is the man he is today.

Would I let my daughter work there? Yes. One of every man's worst nightmares is having a daughter. The crazy thing is that I would let mine work at Hooters. I bet they make 40,000+ a year with no education. That would be the stipulation, my daughter would have to not made it into college or dropped out.

I think this about covers every angle that you could take at Hooters. As always I appreciate your comments.

-Floss

SEASONS OF SLUT

Can't believe the reviews the last blog got. Honestly one of my favorite blogs of all time. One reader who didn't comment did send a TM(text message for our older readers) saying it was his favorite as well. Someone asking whats going on in the watermelon dome of mine, well that's where the "Seasons of Slut" comes in. I pryed through the all the annoying knowledge I have in my brain, all the bullshit statistics swirling around, and all of the dreams of Denny's Beer Barrel Pub and the Tour de Court(saw that Lance might be out for the real Tour de France, reminded me about how the real tour should happen around the same time, plus the summer opens up free time) to come up with the "Seasons of Slut".

I came up with the "Seasons of Slut" because of the Floss' icon Bill Simmons bringing up halter top day, which occurs in April around the start of spring. Since no one in the Floss' age bracket actually uses the word halter top I thought I would put into plain English or Floss-isms the "Seasons of Slut". There are 4 seasons in a year, but 6 "Seasons of Slut".

PRIME SEASON: Prime season is the summer months June through August. June through August rule. Anywhere in the continental US you can catch girls in bikinis and outfits that barely cover themselves. In prime season, there is really nothing to complain about.

NORTHFACE SEASON: Once the NorthFace Jackets start coming out, it gets scary. You know that Prime Season is over. The Floss still likes NorthFace season. It has been said before that sweatpants and Uggz boots are a great look for girls which is why NorthFace season is still okay. It's scary that during this season, all you can really look at are girls butts in jeans. Since the Floss is a big fan of the "booty", this isn't all that bad, but still it eventually gets old looking at girls in jeans and hoodies/jackets. Falling perfectly in the middle of NorthFace Season is Halloween which could have been a season all in itself.

HIBERNATION SEASON: Living in a college town for almost 3 years now, I learned that, Yes good looking girls do indeed go away for the winter. In winter, you just pray for the semi warm(30-35 degrees) days when girls look mildly attractive. Literally, if Christmas wasn't in the middle of Hibernation Season men all over would have nothing to look forward too.

STEELER SEASON: Steeler Season obviously overlaps all of the seasons, but it generally falls in January and February when the Steeler playoff runs are occuring. The Floss wants proclaimed that girls in Steeler jerseys are an automatic add of 3 points on the 1-10 hotness scale (which for the Floss runs to about 14). The Floss will be amending this rule very very soon. We are going to start factoring in the players that the girl is wearing for the point addiction. Any girl can wear a Ben, Troy, Jerome, or Hines jersey, they are one pointers. A Santonio Holmes, James Harrison, Farrior, Willie Parker, or Heath Miller, they are two pointers. Ike Taylor is 2.4 points cause you know da bitch got swag. Rashard Mendenhall, Woodley, Timmons, and any other current Steeler are 3 pointers. Tommy Maddox is (Negative 1,000,000). The Steeler jerseys help fill in some awful time towards the end of Hibernation Season.

MYSTERY SEASON: Let's face it late February to the near end of March is a mystery. You seriously have no clue what you could possibly get. Literally you can get some really nice days where girls can go all out, but you can get days where girls might get scared and will go back into hibernation. Truthfully you can't link Mystery Season with any other season due to the crazy weather patterns. However, mid March is tourney time so you don't leave your house. March Madness. Think about it.

WELCOME BACK SEASON: Welcome Back Season is just that. It's time to welcome back those who left us in the winter. Welcome Back Season is from about April to May. Depending on the weather Welcome Back Season can start later or end early. Welcome Back Season is all about the Sluts finding their look so they can be in tip top shape for prime season. Kind of like spring training and the early months in baseball. Just getting ready for the summer months when the real season begins. The bad weather days do bring out the awful look of rain boots and umbrellas. Umbrellas make girls ten times uglier, it's just a fact.

So, LFOF(Loyal Followers of Floss), prepare yourself to Welcome Back the Sluts.

BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH

After waking up on Monday morning and watching Scottie Reynolds dribble drive layup against the Pitt Panthers literally 4 times in less than an hour. This doesn't seem that amazing except none of these views were on YouTube. This weekend left me with a bad taste in my mouth much like some of the great sports losses the Floss has suffered through the years. When reading this remember that the Floss' sports life hasn't been all that bad. I have seen two Super Bowl victories which is the ultimate championship, not too mention the Pens and some other cool wins throughout including but not limited to the Franklin Regional Football State Championship season in 2005 or the MOS Eagles GCYO Championship in 2006. Some assumptions you must consider while reading:

-Sports fanhood started in '95-96 with that first Super Bowl loss when the Floss was 7, anything prior to 7 years old is not remembered.
-Pecking order of teams ages 7 through 16: 1. Steelers, 2. Steelers, 3. Steelers, 4. Pitt Hoops, 5. Pitt Football, 6. Pirates, 7. Penguins
-The point of this is to show that a lot more emotion rode with the Steelers back in the day. The Pens were really never high on the Floss' radar.
-Pecking order of teams age 16--Present: 1. Pitt Football, 2. Steelers, 3. Pitt Basketball, 4. Penguins, 5. Pirates
-Hard to keep Pitt hoops at 3 after this awesome season, but it is the truth. Pitt football rides very high nowadays.
-The Pirates will not appear on this list once due to the fact that in my fan lifetime they haven't had a meaningful loss.

Onto the Losses:

Honorable Mention: Yancey Thigpen Gives Packers Gift: This game is kind of interesting and maybe none of you remember it, but the Floss has distinct memories of it. With 11 seconds left on Christmas Eve in 1995, Yancey Thigpen blatantly drops a touchdown pass on 4th and goal. The Floss watched this game at his grandparents house. The waterworks started shortly after the game and continued for 45 minutes on the trek to church on Christmas Eve all the while being berated by the UFO(Uncle of Floss, sounds cooler than UOF). While researching the game, I found out that the Steelers had clinched a bye and the AFC Central Division title already and that the game meant jack shit.

Honorable Mention 2: 2006 Big East Championship Loss to Syracuse: Gerry McNamara is one of the Floss' least favorite Big East players ever. He single handedly took Cuse to the Big East Championship game that year. Then he laid an egg against Pitt in the title game, but Pitt couldn't muscle through. Black Magic and Aaron Gray couldn't bring this one home. This game led the Floss to punch a hole in the wall along the stairs leading down to his basement. A bloody hand and a screaming Mother of Floss (more on MOF later) put the exclamation point on this loss. Funny that the Floss covered the hole up with an autographed picture of Carl Krauser he bought off eBay. O the irony.

10. Miami--Pitt 2003: I don't know why the Floss went into this game with such high hopes, but he did. This was to go to the Orange Bowl. Why the Floss trusted in that years Pitt team is beyond me? They had a loss to Toledo on the resume plus a 52-31 shellacking to West Virginia in the teams previous game. It was Larry Fitz's last game at Heinz Field. It just had a magical atmosphere. I remember walking up the rotunda with the loudest "Let's Go Pitt" chants the Floss has ever heard to this day. That game was probably the game that should have taught me that Pitt football will always let you down.

9. Game 6, Pens--Wings 2008: This game would probably be a lot higher if hockey had meant more to me growing up. Last year it did take over from about April through that last playoff game. Game 6 hurt so much because of the unbelievable comeback in Game 5 with Petr Syk's called goal in the third OT. If the Pens pull off the Game 6 upset, everyone knows that anything can happen in Game 7. Some losses make you a better fan. Game 6 qualifies under that category for the Floss.

8. 04 AFC Title Game: The only AFC title game the Floss has attended in his lifetime. The Steelers were the 1 seed, but the Pats were real hot and 3 point favorites. The game was never really close. Big Ben was a rookie and completely gagged in this game. However, what Ben has done since then has clearly made up for his performance this game. This game just stung because it seemed like a magical year and the loss killed the chance at an all Pennsylvania Super Bowl.

7. Super Bowl XXX--O'Donnel: This game would have been much higher had the Floss really understood sports at this time. The Steelers definitely should go down in history as 2 best plays going into halftime and coming out of halftime. James Harrison's INT for 6 this year, NORM! Johnson's surprise onside to start the 2nd half of Super Bowl XXX. This game also sent the Floss up to his room crying when the Steelers couldn't pull the 2nd half comeback. This game also coupled with the fact that there were a bunch of bandwagon Cowboys fans littering the halls of Heritage Elementary School. What awful parenting. Larry Fucking Brown. You fucking suck.

6. Sun Bowl: Most people consider this game meaningless, not I said the Floss. As a diehard Pitt football fan, this game meant 10 wins and an exclamation point on a solid season. It was also the final time as a fan to watch Shady McCoy with the PITT across his chest. He didn't even have a good game due to the quarterbacking or lackthere of by Billy Stull. This game epitomized the Dave Wannstedt era: no offensive adjustments, attempting a 57 yard field goal with 2 min left in the game and a 4th and 7(not 27, which would have still been unacceptable), Wanny calling a run play on the play before to set up a 57 yarder btw, Wanny putting in the backup quarterback when it is too late only to watch Bostick and Dorin Dickerson(another player Wanny ruined) connect over the middle like a vintage Trent Green and Tony Gonzalez. To boot, the play by play announcer for the game: Verne Lundqvist. The same man who called everyone of Pitt's NCAA tourney games this year. Kiss of FUCKING death. He should join Billy Packer in the World of Old Men Who Fucking Suck head manned by Joe Paterno.

5. Khalid El Amin: The worst collapse in Pitt history. A chance to beat the number 1 team in the nation for the first time in school history(ironically happened with the Floss in attendance again this year against UConn, uncanny) ruined. MOF(Mother of Floss) took the Floss and CINC to this game for some reason. I still don't know what possessed MOF to take the Floss to this game. She pretty much deserves credit for all of my sports blowups for subjecting me to shit like this(For Christmas one year she bought me tickets to go see Pitt vs. Bucknell at the Pete, still the only non conference loss at the Pete, one of only 10 there total). Isaac Hawkins makes the worst inbounds pass in the history of basketball and then Khalid El Amin goes down and hits a floater in the lane to beat Pitt(the god damn irony). However, not all bad as this was one of a handful of times that the Floss got to see the Pitt men in action at the Fitzgerald Field House.

4. 2002 AFC Divisional Playoffs v. Tennessee: For those of you who don't remember this one, it was the Dewayne Washington running into the kicker game. This game was set up by, still the most unbelievable sporting event the Floss had ever been at, the Wild Card game at home against the Browns. That game made you believe. That game made you think that this team could be a team of destiny. Tommy Gun Auto Maddox could pass all over the field this year. He would have been the best quarterback in the league if Rich Gannon wasn't being "the original Tom Brady" for a two year period. What sucked was that if Joe Nedney doesn't flop on Dewayne Washington's still boneheaded play and the Steelers got the ball, they were scoring. No doubt we score and head to the AFC Championship Game. Sidenote: This was probably the most dejected the Floss can remember Dr. Of being after a game.

3. 2003 Notre Dame at Pitt: Julius Jones sets a school record in this game, 262 yards rushing against the Pitt Panthers. ND wins the game 20-14, and Pitt couldn't even unleash Larry Fitzgerald against them because the defense was so bad. This year took a toll on the Floss' belief in Pitt football. We lost to Toledo, Notre Dame, West Virginia, Miami, and Virginia. This game prompted one of the most ridiculous outbursts in the Floss' history. Only 3 of the Floss' friends were on hand to witness, but the Floss himself remembers the breakdown. It started with a simple shouting of "My team, my school, my life" after this horrible game was over. A phrase that if you ask some friends of the Floss, especially Mother Earth(not a reader) he will re hash this meltdown so well. After the shouting of "My team, my school, my life", the Floss started a walk around the neighboorhood in socks. Halfway through, I Hulk Hoganed the shirt off, still an amazing move to this day. Then I started punching stop signs. Needless to say the Floss arrived home in black socks, a shirt ripped straight down the middle, and with a grossly bloody knuckle. MOF was not pleased, but again still her fault.

2. Scottie Reynolds: This game is still hurting my feelings especially after watching Penn State still play basketball while I know Levance Fields is somewhere crying in Mercedes Walker's arms with a few double cheeseburgers. Pitt had the game, then they didn't have it, then they might get overtime, then BOOM, it's over. All of it is over. This loss hurts because this was the year for the Final 4. A complete blue ball feeling to get bounced in the Elite 8. Not too mention Pitt is losing 4 of 5 starters presuming Blair leaves, which no doubt he's out. Cupboard bare and 2 points from a Final 4. This one still stings, plus the fact that we will get to see this shot for years to come doesn't feel good.

1. 2001 AFC Title Game: 11 Point Favorites and playing at Heinz Field. This game was a lock right. We got the gift the week before when the Raiders lost against the Pats right? No, we were subject to the teams special teams problems all year leading to a punt return touchdown by Troy Brown. Then we injure Tommy Terrific, we are set right, no Drew Bledsoe "Armed and Dangerous" throws for a touchdown as soon as he enters. The Steelers fight back diligently to get within 7 and have the ball. Then Kordell Stewart throws his 3rd pick of the day. This game hurt the most because this was when Steeler Fandom was at an all time high. We deserved the Super Bowl that year. It was ours. It hurt the Floss especially since I was always a quiet supporter of Kordell Stewart. I thought he could do it. I thought that was our year. That game made me feel that we would never get to the Super Bowl, but look where we sit 8 years later, 2 Rings Deep. The loss to Nova made me feel that we would never get to the Final Four. Let's see where we sit in 8 years? Hail to Pitt.

WHO'S GOING TO THE SWEET 16?

After a pretty pedestrian 24 of 32 in the first round, the Floss is semi embarrassed to see Wake Forest go down in the first round. Wake was the only loss the Floss had going anywhere, sadly they were going to the Elite 8. Talking about the Pitt game will just dampen my already dampened mood. Remember all of these picks are made with the CURRENT teams.

MIDWEST

Louisville OVER Siena: The Floss gives Siena mad mad respect for beatin tOSU in Dayton. Louisville will be too tough for Siena though. Confidence: 80%

Arizona OVER Cleveland St.: Air Bud looked like a P.I.M.P last night in the win over Utah. The big gripe here is still Utah was a 5 seed? 3 12's beat 5's. Cleveland St. crushed the Floss' bracket for now, so eff them and the Browns. Confidence: 60%

Kansas OVER Dayton: Kansas did a good job holding off Ben Woodside of North Dakota St. Dayton beat WVU on the back of a career day from super soph Chris Wright. Kansas could easily have a let down, but the Floss doesn't think so. Confidence: 70%

USC OVER Michigan St.: Michigan St. has been overrated for a while now. USC looked great yesterday. Daniel Hackett, Taj Gibson, and Demarr DeRozan are a fine big 3 for me. Upset Alert. Confidence: 55%

WEST

Connecticut OVER Texas A&M: The Floss thinks UConn can easily get the win today, but hearing the analysts give them so much credit for having a huge day and tearing up Chattanooga. Honestly, against 16 seeds you either look normal or bad. Sadly Pitt looked bad, but UConn's win taught me nothing either. If Pitt plays ETSU 9 more times, we win all 9 and probably one by 40. Point made. Confidence: 75%

Purdue OVER Washington: Purdue will be the farthest B10 team in the tourney in the Floss' opinion. Chris Kramer is one of the many man crushes the Floss has. Sadly no one outside of Washington and Mississippi got to see the Huskies first round game. I don't buy into Washington's guard play. Confidence: 75%

Mizzoura OVER Marquette: The Floss would love for Marquette to pull off this upset for Dominic James and Buzz Williams, but it probably doesn't happen. Missouri still confuses me, but I think they get it done. Confidence: 70%

Memphis OVER Maryland: Nice start for the ACC, ha ha ha. Coach K really thinks that Clemson and Wake can play with the top 4 in the BE: Louisville, UConn, Pitt, and Nov? Memphis is way too solid inside to lose to this over achieving Terp squad. Confidence: 80%

EAST

PITT OVER Oklahoma St.: After the debacle that was yesterday, expect a very very pissed off Pitt team to come out on Sunday. Would Fields win an eating contest against Byron Eaton? Bounceback win for Pitt Sunday. The letdown won't happen til the Sweet 16 if it happens(Hint: It won't). Confidence: 100%

Wisconsin OVER Xavier: Wisky has been the Floss' upset team for a while. Great win last night. Love Bo Ryan and his Soulja boi dance antics. Confidence: 75%

UCLA OVER Villanova: I'm taking Ben Howland's boys now. Nova has the pressure of Philly in their minds. Shipp and Collison have a ton of experience. Just a hunch here. Confidence: 55%

Duke OVER Texas: Bash Coach K one sec, now I'll praise him. Texas is really good, but I'll take Coach K over Rick Barnes every day. This game could be close. Duke wins it tough. Confidence: 60%

SOUTH

LSU OVER North Carolina: Upset, Upset, Upset. LSU is long and athletic and has players to stop Cryler Hansbrough. Lawson might not play and if he does, won't be 100%. That's the ACC player of the year not playing. The Floss doesn't see having the horses to beat LSU. Confidence: 65%

Gonzaga OVER Western Kentucky: Gonzaga is a Floss favorite. Western Kentucky's ride is over. Confidence: 90%

Arizona St. OVER Syracuse: James Hardin rules. Glasser, Kuksis, and Pendergraft, O my. The Floss loves Arizona St. as a team as previously stated. Cuse is overrated again and will bow out early. Confidence: 75%

Oklahoma OVER Michigan: Blake Griffin is going to the Final 4. Michigan maxed out their season. Before the year, if you told their fans that they would win a tournament game, they would be ecstatic. Anything else now would be gravy. Very little shot here for the Wolverines. Confidence: 85%

UD...It's coming.

PICKIN' WINNA'S

For today, just the first round picks, then look for the 2nd round picks on Saturday morning. Here are the Floss' first round picks with confidence numbers as well. As always, you should bet against these.

MIDWEST

Louisville OVER Morehead St.: No analysis needed. Confidence: 100%

OSU OVER Sienna: The Big 11 sucks in the regular season, but come tourney time they do well. Plus OSU gets a home game in Dayton. Confidence: 75%

Arizona OVER Utah: Arizona is supremely talented. Scared about Russ Pennel's first NCAA tourney appearance. However, on the heels of Air Bud, AZ wins. Confidence: 55%

Wake OVER Cleveland St.: A former number 1 team in the country, the Floss loves the Deacs. In the Floss' Elite 8. Cleveland St. is a really good team and they could beat a lot of teams, just not Wake. Confidence: 85%

WVU OVER Dayton: WVU is really really good. The Floss has said this all year not after they outplayed the Panthers on Thursday at MSG. Dayton's PG is hurt. Gimme game for the Eeers. Confidence: 80%

Kansas OVER North Dakota St.: Kansas is in the Floss' Final 4. Sadly Ben Woodside won't get a win for NDSU. NDSU is the Floss' favorite story of the tourney outside of Sam Young's 200 point tourney that he is about to embark on. Confidence: 90%

BC OVER USC: USC got hot in the Pac 10 tourney although the Pac wasn't strong this year, SC did look impressive. Tyreese Rice should have a big game in him, maybe 2? Confidence: 55%

MSU OVER Robert Morris: God would the Floss love this upset for the Colonials. The Floss is still pissed Bobby Mo didn't get the 14 I was hoping for. At least they got a B10 team with no real over powering star. Confidence: 90%

WEST

Connecticut OVER Chattanooga: The Mocs have one of the coolest nicknames in the field, but have no chance. Confidence: 100%

Texas AM OVER BYU: Actually a coin flipper here. Literally no insight. Bad luck usually follows the Floss. Confidence: 45%

Purdue OVER Northern Iowa: Watched a lot of the MVC championship game, this is easily the worst MVC team to make the tourney in at least 5 years. Purdue is HOTT right now. Confidence: 90%

Washington OVER Mississippi St.: Remember Georgia last year, Miss. St. is the same, maybe a tad better. Washington is pretty underrated and Romar is a good coach who won't let Wash lose to a team that is mismatched this much. Confidence: 85%

Utah St. OVER Marquette: Utah St. has 30 wins and a 26 year old center. Plus Marquette is as cold as Brighton Yourdayup was. Confidence: 60%

Missouri OVER Cornell: This game could be close for 30 minutes if Cornell can slow down Missouri and they hit their shots. Cornell was probably good enough for a 13 seed. Mizzoura still takes this one. Confidence: 80%

Cal OVER Maryland: Maryland won some nice games and deserved a berth in the tournament, but they aren't that impressive. Jerome Randle is one of the PAC 10's coolest players. Really strong pick here. Confidence: 75%

Memphis OVER CS Northridge: Memphis LOVES playing bad teams. This is the same as playing Houston for them. Confidence: 100%

EAST

PITT OVER ETSU: No explanation necessary. Confidence: 110%

Oklahoma St. OVER Tennessee: This pick was based solely on conference strength. Tennessee probably hasn't played a team as good as Oklahoma St. in conference play. Confidence: 60%

Wisconsin OVER Florida St.: FSU is way to overhyped. They really aren't that good. Wisconsin plays solid defense and the B10 always wins in the tourney for some stupid reason. Confidence: 55%

Xavier OVER Portland St.: No analysis. Probably watched Xavier once and never seen Portland St. Going with the higher seed. Confidence: 75%

VCU OVER UCLA: Eric Maynor and Larry Sanders are both NBA players. Maynor might even be lottery. VCU beat Duke two years ago and took Pitt to OT. They won't be afraid of Howland's gang, who is traveling 2500 miles across the country for this game. Confidence: 60%

Villanova OVER American: The Floss doesn't think Nova is very solid, however they get HOME games for two rounds. This is as bullshit as when Pitt got to play at Mellon Arena a while back. A huge disadvantage to Pitt is in a bracket with two teams who have home games in the first two rounds. Confidence: 95%

Texas OVER Minnesota: Texas is a really strong team that really underachieved. If Rick Barnes can get them to play up to their potential, they might be able to pull off the upset over Duke. Tubby is already looking for his next job. Confidence: 75%

Duke OVER Binghamton: Tony Kornheiser would prefer otherwise, but the Binghamton Bears have ZERO chance at the upset. Confidence: 100%

SOUTH

UNC OVER Radford: Amir Johnson gets his 2nd mention in one week on the Floss. Hopefully they can pull off the first 16 OVER 1 considering Ty Lawson won't be playing. Confidence: 97%

Butler OVER LSU: Butler is one of the Floss' favorite teams. Plus it would also be awesome if the SEC didn't have one team win a game in the tournament. Matt Howard is the coolest white big on the planet. Confidence: 60%

Western Kentucky OVER Illinois: The injury to Chester Frazier will hurt the Illini. Western Kentucky is a pretty damn good team. Take the Hilltoppers. Confidence: 65%

Gonzaga OVER Akron: Steve McNees is another WPIAL stud who probably has no chance. Gonzaga is in the Floss' Elite 8. If you watched the Gonzaga UConn game earlier this season, you would know what this team is capable of. Big fan of the Zags. Confidence: 90%

Arizona St. OVER Temple: James Hardin rules. He is one of my favorite players in the tourney. His 2nd favorite school was Pitt therefore he gets Floss lovin. Fuck Temple for knocking out Duquesne in the A10 tourney. Confidence: 75%

Syracuse OVER Stephen F. Austin: The Floss HATES Syracuse. Probably more than West Virginia. How can you possibly root for that piece of trash Eric Devendorf? They are one and done. Confidence: 85%

Michigan OVER Clemson: In case you haven't noticed, the Floss is believing in the B10 in the tourney. Clemson sucks. Bad coaching, undisciplined, just nothing that bodes well for a tourney game. Confidence: 65%

Oklahoma OVER Morgan St.: Oklahoma is in the Floss' final 4. The Floss believes in Blake Griffin. Truthfully, Oklahoma is flying way way under the radar. They went from possible overall number 1, to the 2nd ranked 2 seed. They still have talent and Blake is only getting healthier. Confidence: 100%