TILA FINALE RECAP

I wanted all of my thoughts from tonights Tila fresh, so here goes the closest thing to a live blog that you will ever get. Going into the season finale, I thought Dani was a lock. Not so fast my friend. Bobby pulled what some analysts are calling an upset of Stanford-USC proportions(not quite Brawl worthy). The finale started with Tila showing Bobby and Dani what her "career" is like. Tila has about as much singing talent as the Floss in the shower. Then she gave the contestants a chance in the studio. It was a freestyle while sober, nearly impossible. Bobby was probably the whitest rapper I have ever heard. It was painful. As described by T, "I feel second hand embarassment". Dani came in and killed it. She could rhyme and seemed to not want to stab her eyeballs out like Bobby did. I thought this segment was just another example of Dani being the right fit for Tila. Next she invited both families to her house for dinner, funny thing is it really isn't her house. Why do reality shows think all viewers are morons? This segment was boring other than Tila dancing on stripper poles. Honestly, if Tila was a stripper, it would be 10000000000 times more believable than her being a singer. She is much better on a stripper pole than in a recording studio. Her singing "manager" also looked like an illegal immigrant who could definitely run a strip club, I'm just saying. The families coming was a dumb time killer. Then it was on to the last 2 dates. Dani was up first and gave Tila some stupid ass gift with her phone number in some keychain dealy. This was lame, but you could see that their date was going well and that Dani clearly had a lead. So it was time for Bobby to step it up. I wanted Bobby to make up some much needed ground in this war. He comes into the date with his present. I predicted something lame. He went with a songbook or some stupid journal that looked like a burlap sack. Her comment is "I have something just like this". So his creative gift, the only chance he had left, just backfired. I thought it was over, but Bobby hung in there. He had fun and had "the kiss everyone hopes for". He should have phrased that as, "the kiss that everyone waits for on bullshit reality shows". Going into the finale everything was set up for a Dani victory. T was saying the whole time, this is all setting up for a Dani victory, but Bobby is going to win. He pointed out that many reality shows had the exact same spin on the episode to create more drama. Bobby utters right before the final ceremony that he isn't confident at all. After that, I should have known that line was set up. I still didn't believe it. I thought Dani and Tila were headed to lesbian paradise. Then Tila picks Bobby, who was as stunned as I. Dani reacted like a professional. I was happy the way she handled herself after the loss. To put it into perspective, how many lesbian dating shows have ever been on TV? Zero. How much notoriety will she get amongst the gay and lesbian community? A ton. She will be the god damn Jessica Simpson of dykes. She will be pulling soo much pussy that she will probably go straight. Tila and Bobby will probably not be together after the show is over because of the long layoff. This show had a great run and hopefully another similar show will air. In related reality TV show news, mid January Rock of Love returns. Rock of Love II with Bret Michaels is a lot better than Tila and involves way more boozing and way more sluts. Booyah.

GET EXCITED

"They put a lot of players in the league, and it's a good test. I can't wait. I'm not going sleep at night while I'm thinking about this game, so it's going to be a fun game. I'm going to have fun, so you'll see a lot of smiling. Duke didn't recruit me at all, so that's another reason why I'm going to go off on them."--Pitt Star Freshman Dejuan Blair

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