DANCING WITH LORD STANLEY

Although the Floss tries to come up with more creative titles usuall, Mike Lange's call being re-played over the radio waves is in my head and for good reason. Until now Lord Stanley to me was just the most dominant Pap of all time. Lord Stanley's Cup is what we are playing for now. The coolest trophy in all of pro sports. Way cooler than a ring(which you get anyway), cooler than a crystal football(the Floss would drop it), cooler than the World Series trophy(which looks like a bunch of rods sticking out of a tree stump), the Cup is just cooler damnit.

Reading the Post Gazette the other day got me very sad about the future of the Pens. I had realized that it wouldn't be the same every year due to the salary cap and all that, but 12 un-restricted free agents is a ton. Knowing that Hossa was a rent-a-player is almost a sad concept, but it is all business. If you think about all the players who probably won't be back, it really hurts because we have grown to love them during the past season(further with some). Ruutu, Orpik, Laraque, Malone(hopefully not), Talbot, GOD Roberts, Dupuis, it just sucks. Some may be back, strongly pulling for Malone, Talbot, and Dupuis, but you never know. This Penguins team has been more lovable than the Steelers team that just won the Super Bowl in Detroit(wink wink) only 2 and a half years ago. In football, the second stringers don't do much. In hockey, everyone plays. This season so many players contributed at some point, it just seems fitting that they all deserve to kiss Lord Stanley's Cup. Even Kris Beech up there chewing in the players suite(I see ya kid). I just love this team. I think this team deserves a Cup. A story book season. This team lost the best hockey player on the planet for a large part of the season and never lost a beat, because they have the second best hockey player on the planet. They lost an elite goaltender for a long period of time, only to see a journeyman come fill in and play like a Hall of Famer. An aging veteran making one last go round. A star player trying to earn his first Cup while silencing the critics who say he doesn't play in big games. A team playing under new owners who put their necks out their to save hockey in Pittsburgh. A team that wants to win for Mario Lemieux who saved hockey in this town. I just don't see why our rag-tag band of stars and scrappers shouldn't beat the FUCK out of the old ass Red Wings. Why should the Pens win this series? Just because.

FLOSSY PREDICTION: PENS IN 5, IN DETROIT

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

-Yeah I did it this way because Simmons did it this way, it's my blog I will do what I want.

-To win in the NBA, you need guys who can run the pick 'n roll and guys who will play defense.

-You could also have Kobe or LeBron in the NBA. I know Bron Bron is gone, but really, could the rest of the Cavs beat the Heat at the end of the year, NO.

-Gregg Popovich might be the best NBA coach I see in my lifetime. And I've seen the zen master Phil Jackson.

-Doc Rivers is a moron. I never thought I would root for the Pistons. One of my top favorite players on the Pistons is Flip Saunders. Yeah, and this is the team I'm rooting for.

-Murrysville used to have cheap chew. O the good 'ol days.

-The parquet floor at the Garden is one reason to root for the C's, maybe the only reason.

-Did I mention that the Pens are in for a DECADE OF DYNASTY?(trademark)

-The Buccos are officially the Succos again. Back to normalcy.

-Brad Lincoln is off his 2 years of rehab and is pitching again, nice.

-Pitt still doesn't have a football commit. What the hell?

-Pitt football will win 9+ next year, more on this later.

-Nas Robinson still hasn't qualified for college, and Devin Ebanks to WVU, damnit.

-The Paper might be the most entertaining MTV show yet. The gay kid on that show is hilarious.

-Best season of the Real World in a while.

-I gave up on Tila.

-Your 2008 Conn Smythe Winner: Marc Andre Fleury

-If you had a choice would you work for Decicco Construction or paint houses with Luke Nix? These are important things to think about.

-floss

THANK YOU PHILLY

The first response to the title of this blog was probably, WTF?! A wise man (Mr. Shenanigans, all 3 readers know exactly who I'm talking about) once told me: "Philly fans are such douchebags, but I love them". I never really grasped this concept until the Pens-Flyers series started. Sure, Philly fans love getting drunk and starting E-A-G-Zero Super Bowls(thats how it goes right?) chants. They just never really got under my skin. Until now. My new stereotype of Philly is a New York macho attitude combined with a Jersey ego. Basically a douchebag. Sure they are a bunch of genuises with those "Crosby Sucks" chants. Real original guys. Philly can remember this game as, well, at least Pittsburgh didn't sweep us in '08. I don't know what TV set yins watched the game on tonight, but unfortunately mine was carried by a local Philly television station, o wait that was just Versus. Honestly, if the announcers want to wear Flyers jerseys and chant "Let's Go Flyers", I might be all for that. It was honestly an embarassment to the half-assed network that Versus is. Honestly, MTV could produce a better telecast than Versus. What really set me off tonight was a text message I received from one of the douchebags, "Crosby is such a bitch. I wouldn't want him on my team regardless of talent". Really? All I could really say to this was, "I will call you when he is kissing the Cup". So to the Flyers and all of Philly, Thank You for renewing the hate that I should have had for you all this time. P.S. The Cup goes through Pittsburgh. Bring It FUCKERS.

POOP PANTS

Joe Paterno was hospitalized today for dehydration. Honestly, I hope the man gets better, but give up coaching for real. He is such an arrogant prick that he wants to beat Bobby Bowden by ruining the program he built. Go for it, ruin the program. Force JayPa into power for all I care, just stop making a mockery out of real college football coaches.

BUCCOS

I hate to give them the kiss of death, but has the Floss ever been on the Bucco train recently. All it took was a little bit of winning. Nate McClouth is playing like a bonafide All-Star. He is on pace for 40!!!!!!!!! Home Runs. Crazy I know, but you gotta believe in the N-Dog. Sucks that Doumit is on the shelf for a minimum of 4 weeks, but Paulino should be able to hold his own. All the other position players are quietly tearing the cover off the ball. Shhh, they might get wind of people caring and get nervous. As for the pitching, it has been quite frankly, BAD. They are actually winning close games and games in the late innings. I should clear up, that the starting pitching has been bad. We had to forfeit all of Matt Morris' starts which hurt. Dumatrait is pitching solid, but someone find me a righty. The bullpen has pitched fantastic. You have 2 set-up guys in Yates and Marte(really filthy right now). Glad we got Yates for nothing by the way. A lefty specialist in Grabow. And Matt Capps is closing the door faster than he can eat a dozen of donuts. If the Pirates win this weekend series against the Cubs the Floss will...(suggestions welcomed, however not too crazy since it is a 3 game series in May). If they go over .500, I'm writing in Russell/Huntington on my ballot in November(one of the Floss' favorite cliche's). WE BELIEVE.

EXCUSE MY MENDEN-BONER

The NFL Draft could be the most overhyped sports day of the year...that is flippin awesome. Roger Goodell's first great idea as Commish was to move the draft back to 3 o'clock. I don't know the actual reason behind this, but it definitely works if you have a massive hangover and need 3 extra hours to recover. It also works if you are a real person and have to do something with your kids or wife on Saturday's. Plenty of morning time before 3 o'clock. Not too mention Goodell shortened the clock to 10 min in the first round. Did anyone else notice that teams pulled the trigger faster this year because of it? Before I guess NFL teams felt like they were supposed to sit on the clock for the whole 15 minutes acting like they hadn't been scouting who they were going to pick for the past 4 months. The first round was over in a whooping 3.5 hours. If that didn't make you want to hang around for the 2nd round I don't know what would. The only beef I might have with the draft is that it should be a nationwide catch up on rain day. Think about it, women can go shopping and not feel bad, men can watch the draft and not feel bad. Since only Ms. Mother Nature can control if it rains(bring 'em on babe), we could play rain day rules, like shopping and laziness being okay. Okay, now onto the analysis of the Steelers draft picks plus their number choices:

ROUND 1: RASHARD MENDENHALL, RB, ILLINOIS, NUMBER 34

The Floss loved all 3 "REAL" first round running backs, and I wanted them to take a RB pretty bad, because I thought the OT's were overrated, based solely on the fact that Jeff Otah was highly regarded. He is a bum in my book, which is saying a lot since he doned the blue and gold, albeit for 2 years. Back to the real deal Rashard Mendenhall. He is a perfect compliment to FWP(Fast Willie Parker). FWP wasn't going to be able to continue at his production level getting 300 carries a year. The 2 RB system is very common in the NFL, and if you think about it, FWP is a perfect fit for a 2 RB system. This was also a great pick because there were no other options on the WDB(Walde Draft Board). Once Jonathan Stewart went to Carolina, I was hoping for a corner, particularly Aqib Talib, but he went at 20. I didn't think Mendenhall would last, but I knew Jerry Jones would stick to Arkansas and Felix the Cat. When he was at pick 23, I had made a previous bet of 3 back to back to back shots of Old Crow if the Steelers got him. That will always be my memory of Rashard Mendenhall, 3 shots of Old Crow. Yes. As for his number, I hate it. Best comment I heard was from the DDPL yesterday(referring to his number), "what is he another Verron Haynes?". My response, "uh, he is from Illinois, it might be for Walter Payton". With all that being said, couldn't he have picked something in the 20's?

ROUND 2: LIMAS SWEED, WR, TEXAS, NUMBER 14

Everyone and their Mother knows I LOVE BIG BEN, so a tall WR is just what the doctor ordered here. While their may have been a lineman on board, he probably wasn't worth it. All linemen especially OT's were drafted a half round high anyways. Limas Sweed's biggest knock is a wrist injury. Wrist injuries aren't even real. If it was a knee, I would be worried. Remember the last player who dropped to the Steeler's because of injury concerns. Yeah, Heath Miller. DROF also pointed out that with a name like Sweed, he couldn't wait to hear fans cheer Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. These are things that I wouldn't see until it actually happens. That's why DROF gets the big bucks. Also as far as numbers go, 14 is pretty dope. WR's that pick numbers outside of the 80's are cool.

ROUND 3: BRUCE DAVIS, OLB, UCLA, NUMBER 53

I wish I could tell you that he was on my radar in this draft, but I have never heard of him. His dad played in the NFL, good bloodlines. Rush Ends are cool. Good size, good number choice.

ROUND 4: TONY HILLS, OT, TEXAS, NUMBER 66

Yay. A lineman. A tackle even. He should be able to beat out Trai Essex for a backup spot. Nice pickup. Him and Limas can go apartment shopping together. Way to pick Faneca's number. Pap is going to be shocked when he sees black Faneca next year.

ROUND 5: DENNIS DIXON, QB, OREGON, NUMBER 2

The sexiest pick since Limas Sweeeeeeeeeeed in the second round. The original D-Dix(sorry Dorin, you come in second) was a pimp in college at the quarterback position. I just didn't see him playing that in the NFL. I was thinking the Steelers were going to use him like Randle El or at least in some crazy Bruce Arians packages. He is not the future at backup QB. Charlie Pittsburgh is definitely safe this year. D-Dix won't make the squad, unless he is moved.

ROUND 6(a): MIKE HUMPAL, MLB, IOWA, NUMBER 55

Only one good year at Iowa, where he had 120+ tackles, so he might have a solid upside(Mel comment). From everything I read he can probably be a good special teamer, so a good pickup in the 6th round. On his number, now I get to explain to Pap who the white Joey Porter is. Thanks. Couldn't he have picked 57, because no one would know the difference between him and Clint Kriedwalt.

ROUND 6(b): RYAN MUNDY, S, MICHIGAN, NUMBER 29

The Floss refuses to acknowledge the one year of college football Mundy played in Morganhole for the queers, so he is just going to be a Michigan guy, deal? However, factoring in that he is local(Woody High vs. McKeesport), played for a min. year at WVU, and is number 29, Mundy should have a role on this team. His new name: Ridi Mogan(Ryan+Chidi, Mundy+Logan).

Overall I LOVED the draft for the Steelers. I don't think they would have contended next year with an upgrade on the O-Line. Any upgrade wouldn't have been big enough really. Defensively, no drop off should happen from Clark Haggans to Woodley/Timmons. The cornerbacks are getting better by the minute. Troy should be healthy. Davis/Timmons/Woodley hopefully will help get some sacks. Offensively, we might score 80 points a game. Kidding aside, just think of our skill players, and try and find a team as loaded. Top 5 QB, A top 10 RB and a top 20 RB(Mendenhall is that good NOW), Top 5 TE in AFC, then a WR corps that boasts a solid veteran, an up-and-coming STUD, a new big rook, and a decent 4(Nate Wash). It could be the most offensively talented team in a LONG LONG time for the Steelers.