BRO HUNT

Well, the Floss has had many reality TV show ideas in his day, this one is his new favorite. The Floss has done some serious serious bro-ing out with Dr. Of lately. Like more bro-ing out than when he slept approximately 12 feet from me for 9 months (no homo). Now that Floss has made a serious switch to Bar Floss, life has become more interesting and much much more expensive in this new World. "Bro Hunt" is sort of a spin-off on the popular MTV show "Bromance" however less Hollywood, way way more yinzer. The idea came to me while watching Dr. Of attempt to make friends with anyone and everyone at any bar. Let me break it down for you:

--The show would be set around Pittsburgh, hence the yinzer aspect.

--The main character would be Dr. Of. He would be the focus of the show, however, he would have wing-men/sidekicks/narrarators.

--Bar Floss' recent posse has been that of Dr. Of, Dub Nick, and Blues Traveler. I don't recall Blues Traveler having a nickname, but it plays on his Worldly exploits. He will now be BT from now on.

--The show would be unlike other shows because the cast wouldn't be completely random. The cast would be formed by Dr.Of on nights out around town. He would go into the bar and need to make a choice within an hour. Dr. Of wouldn't be able to interact with them much. Just maybe an informal greeting and a high five. He could make the choice with or without advice from his trusty entourage(Floss, 55, and BT).

--We would pick different styles of bars. Dr. Of's Favorite: "yous know, 'dem local bars witout all da hip and trendy people". We would force him to go hip and trendy, local, yinzer, really yinzer, etc.

--Dr. Of would go to 5 different bars and pick one bro from each location. This would all be done while filming with a hidden camera. Once Dr. Of picks his 5 bro's, the real fun would begin from there.

--Each week would be filmed from a "normal" night of Dr. Of. The new bro would start at the very onset of Dr. Of's drinking day. Lately it has been 3:30ish on a Saturday. They'd start with the first part of any drinking afternoon, the liquor store. This is when Dr. Of begins his judging process. If Bro 1-5 picks out a bottle of gin, he will be dropped like a pass to Limas Sweed. Next would be the buying of the "schma glibs". If Bro 1-5 picks out plain chips, he might be a little to Floss for Dr. Of. Next trip would be the gas station. If Bro 1-5 picks out Marlboro Menthol Lights, Dr.Of would give said bro ZERO respect. Camel Lights, the most bro of all cigarettes would gain instant respect. A side order of some Skoal Mint Pouches would be big tymin' for said bro.

--Next would see Dr. Of at a bar with the bro candidate. The bro candidate would need to adapt quickly to the sitch(situation). An empty bar is prime judging ground for Mr. Of. He can figure out if the bro can figure out if he can make friends in a light environment. Floss has learned one too many times that it is tough to make friends with people in a low social environment. (Just leaked chew spit on myself...GROSS)

--Can this new "bro" slap skin? An absolute necessity for any friend of Dr. Of. Dr. Of needs some sound with his high fives. Dr. Of is the only one able to judge this.

--Can the new "bro" hang with the crew? Dr. Of can drink more than anyone I know(including you COF). The Floss has been bourbon drinkin' and CLite smokin' tough just to be in the presence of Dr. Of.

--Can the new "bro" chill wit da boyz? As gay as that last sentence was, it makes sense. Dr. Of has picked this mantourage of Floss, 55, and BT selectively. If you aren't down with his posse than FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU.

--Can the new "bro" pick up sluts? Floss can't do this. 55 has pretty decent game and can serve up some layups to Dr. Of, BT has little to no game(No offense BT). If the new "bro" has the lady pickin up skill it might be really really valuable in the mantourage. Only he can judge.

Basically, Dr. Of is callin the shots. Can any new "bro" be brought to the mantourage, no one knows(except Dr. Of), but we will find out.

Bro Hunt is coming to a town near you.

I'M NOT SORE.....I KEEPS STRETCHIN

Never has the Floss called someone out like he's about to. However, I want to call someone out. It's YOU Mike Tomlin. Now the Floss ain't no ordinary Yinzer. The Floss idolizes Coach T. He was my favorite coach in Pittsburgh. Sorry T, but Disco Dan beat you. He watched the Pens struggle and bounced them back quick with 5 of 6. He knows how to manage crisis. You don't. Is the Floss done with you? ABSOLUTELY NOT. Are you the right coach for the Steelers? ABSOLUTELY. The Floss LOVES what you bring this team normally. However, you let them get complacent. It happens. If I'm in your position, I let the vets manage themselves too. You took a baseball approach. Plus you have Bruce Arians. I know he's the favorite scapegoat even when the defense loses games, but honestly can you blame us? The man has never called an efficient gameplan. Literally NEVER. The Floss has no Skoal right now. Everything is more emotional than normal. TCP(The Climax Pool), aka Pitt traitor, brought up to me that Tomlin should bring in HIS Tampa 2 next year. I completely agree. Let Tomlin coach. The Rooney's have LOOSELY, I emphasize LOOSELY, micro managed my man Coach T so far. Coach T had our squad ready to WIN a title last year. You know why? It was cause he knew the expectations. They are HIGH. He should take us places. Coach Tomlin is Ma Dude. Bench Ben the rest of this year. The Steelers are an organization with ZERO moral victories. We want a draft pick. We want to trade up for NKadkadoajomamajamajma Suh. Look for that. Why Tomlin can't get complacent? How many ELITE level QB's happen every decade? About 3, this decade...5 for some unGodly reason....Eli, Brady, Manning, Ben, Brees(no win yet). Rivers, get to a conference title game, you can join. This decade is different. But back to the issue at hand...Tomlin CAN'T LOSE...He CAN'T. The Steelers have a peak Ben for 5 more years IMO. 27 to 32. 5 YEARS. If Tomlin can't win next year, unload the bank. We need a Coach that can get Ben another title. If you don't believe this, you are naive. I hope it is Coach T, dat's ma dude, but if he leads us to a first round exit next year, unload the bank. Honestly, unload the bank. Bring back Dungy or Cowher for a year. It's so ridiculous, make it work. We aren't building something here...IT IS FUCKING HERE. With Ben it is WIN FUCKING NOW.

Editor's Note: I just re-read this. The Floss' first re-read of a post EVER. It made more sense than anything ever.

Please, Please, Please leave comments. I would love to hear any comments on this entry or the Curtain.

THE STRETCH

Well Saturday was 100% the worst loss I've ever experienced. I don't want to say you could feel it coming, but deep down the Floss didn't see the Panthers making moves when Cinci made the 2 and tied it at 38. However, Pitt drove the field and scored a TD. The failed PAT hurt big time, but in reality the defense needs to make a stop there. I really thought we would get a sack and kill the drive. The Floss knew special teams was an issue going in and boy was it ever. But "The Stretch" which will now be how I refer to the past 5 days, with potential to continue.

THE STRETCH

Friday: The Floss paid 5 dollars to attend Pitt hoops versus New Hampshire. Pitt set a record for fewest points in a half in the shot clock era. We also only scored 47 points vs. New Hampshire. Geeze.

Saturday: Cinci. Plus watched the Pens tie the game in Peter's Pub only to rip my heart out in OT.

Sunday: The Steelers lose to the Raiders by giving up 21 points to Bruce Fucking Gradkowski (Seton LaSalle QB's ruined my life 2 days in a row, think about the odds of that) in 8 and a HALF MINUTES. The final drive had a dropped INT that put the white from Joe Burnett's numbers on the football, a jump ball pass caught by Lew Murphy around 11 Steeler defenders, an unexplicably bad penalty by Ryan Mundy for hitting a defenseless receiver, and another touchdown throw up pass to Mr. Lew Murphy. Lew Murphy, a guy who probably can't crack many teams top 4.

Monday: The Pens throw away a game to a terrible Carolina team at Mellon Arena. Just piling on at this point.

Tuesday: When the Floss really needed the Panthers to step up, they burrowed back underneath the ground. Their offense is absolutely pathetic right now. No point guard, only 2 guys who can create their own shot. We also lost to a team that won 1 game in the B10 last year and that lost to Boston U at home this year.

I swear if the Steelers lose to the Browns Thursday, "The Stretch" might continue. If they lose to the Browns this Thursday, the Floss may never recover.

Meineke Car Care Bowl

Fortunately for the Floss, the Car Care Bowl, while a shitty game, is one that they Floss can and is attending. Very happy to make the drive to Charlotte the night of Christmas. I think this bowl game will be a really fun matchup. I love playing UNC there because they will bring fans and make the stadium very full. We are staying in downtown Charlotte which is a city the Floss has never been to. While it is no Bourbon Street, the Floss is taking a glass half full approach to Charlotte. Any LFOF who have been to Charlotte, suggestions for fun are welcomed. The Floss will be there Saturday and Sunday night.

STEEL COMEBACK

While the Steelers certainly haven't began to unleash hell in December like Coach T wanted, they still have a punchers chance. Their final 4 are certainly all winnable(at Cleveland, Ravens, Packers, at Miami) with their two toughest being at home. Miami should be out of the race in week 17, so I will not expect their best team to show up. The Steelers need either Denver or Jacksonville to lose 2 of their final 4. Denver looks most probable IMHO. They play at Indy this week, where Indy is still looking for the top spot in the AFC, so no backups yet, plus they are still unbeaten. Week 16 they play at Philly, who always comes on strong at the end of the year and will be playing for a playoff spot. Jacksonville is still not that good of a team IMHO. They have a -48 point differential and are 7-5. They actually could lose out and it wouldn't surprise the Floss. They have Miami at home this week, who will be fighting for their playoff lives. Next week Indy comes to town, they hopefully will still be playing for 16-0. Week 16 at NE, definitely a loseable game. Week 17 at Cleveland. Never trust Jack Del Rio or David Garrard in a big spot, unless Ben is tossing 4 picks. The only wild card is the Jets winning out and out tiebreaking us. Their schedule is winnable, @Tampa(minus Sanchise), Atlanta, @Indy(might be over for them), Cincinnati(playing for nothing I'm sure). If the Steelers can win out, they will carry momentum into the post season similar to the '06 season. Even if we don't head back to the Super Bowl, the Floss would love a first round matchup at Cinci. Could you imagine ruining their season again? Well that's what I'm living for now.

BIG EAST CHAMPIONSHIP

The Big East Champion will be decided around 3:30 PM EST this Saturday Dec. 5th. The last time Pitt won the Big East it was in 2004 with a backdoor tiebreaker. Then Pitt got rolled in the Fiesta Bowl, and axed Walt Harr(ithhhs). This time around it is completely different. We have built a team destined for success in the short term and long term. Pitt can turn their biggest corner with a Championship Saturday. They will be facing a very very good opponent. A beatable opponent, but a legit top 5 team nonetheless. Some questions you may be wondering:

Floss, what happened to your beloved Panthers in the Brawl?

Well, it was a rivalry game. Rivalry games are close a lot of the time especially when they are played at the "team with nothing really relevant to play for's" house. WVU is a very good team, don't let their few close losses fool you. Pitt is better and wins that game at WVU 7 out of the next 10, bank it, but not that day. Fucking Tyler Bittancourt going 4 for 4 and booting them in from every hash was a sight to see. No sour grapes, cause our season still has Championship potential. Adam Gunn said it best when he said, not direct quote, "Coach gives us 24 hours to mourn a loss or 24 hours to celebrate a win".

What about 2nd place?

If we finish in 2nd or 3rd, really I don't care. We are too good of a team to care about a moral victory 2nd or 3rd.

What area are you most concerned about going into the Cinci game?

Special teams. The Floss has 100% confidence in his man Danny "Clutch"ins booting field goals. I am nervous about our lack of punt returning, since Wanny just loves watching Aaron Smith catch the ball rather than take a risk with Killa Cam, but Wanny loves the safe play. I'm more concerned about Mardy Gilyard returning kicks and punts. Our kickoff coverage has been good all year. Wanny loves his directional kicks, but I hate that style. Honestly, doesn't every fan? Who hates watching your team either squib or short kick just to watch the other team start at the 40? I see directional kicking being a part of this game. I don't want Mardy to beat us with a long return, but I also don't want Pike to have a 60 yard field every time our offense scores. Our punt coverage has been suspect, but directional punts are fine. I hope Hutch, who has punted pretty solid all year, can do a few nice 45 yard net out of bounds guys.

What about the scary Cinci passing offense?

I'm not scared if we tackle. We cannot let guys run all over the field on us. We let up a shit ton of yards to ND's WR's, but only 14 points. That is the key. Points. Hold to field goals. It's more about getting to Pike in timely downs. Forcing long 3rd downs and getting off the field on them.

What about Bill Stull's struggles in the Backyard Brawl?

I will not comment on Bill Stull struggling much since he is a big a reason as anyone why the Panthers are 9-2. I will say that the lack of creative playcalling was shocking. Coach Cignetti didn't run screens or draws even with WVU bringing the heat. It will be interesting to see how he adapts to going against a 3-4 alignment.

How many points will the Panthers need?

30+. I truly don't see Cinci scoring less than 28. Their offense is really that good. I know their defense is allowing a measly 19 points a game, but the Panthers offense is averaging over 30. We aren't slouchy Panthers on offense.

Flossin' Prediction?

Well the Panthers will win the TO battle 2-1 with a pick by Aaron Berry and a strip sack by Mick Williams. Dion will have a big 20 carry 140 yard performance. Billy will lead the offense to 37 minutes of possession. Cinci will attempt a late rally capped by a failed onside kick attempt. The Panther crowd will then start the "BCS" chant as Floss drinks Andre under the Victory Lights all night long.

PITT 34
CINCI 29

Look forward to another blog this week hopefully, but never trust promises from a blogger.