THE FLOSS IS BACK IN TOWN

110 Days. That was how long the Floss made you wait. For this I apologize. But as usual the Floss will make "false" promises. If the Pitt Panthers win this week, I will update the blog everyday until their season ends. A loss, the Floss will do his best.

So for your reading pleasure, the Floss' 33.333333% season grades:

QUARTERMAN: Bill Stull was Wanny's guy from day one, don't you think he would have been a little bit better? He has a candy arm, can't throw a deep ball in bounds, and he doesn't have any running ability. All that being said, I don't know if anyone of our quarterbacks could be better right now. The Floss was in the very small Pat Bostick camp all off season, and I wanted him to get a shot again. In college football, future is important. Stull has one more year, and he will be the starter barring injury, which will only hurt this team. He won't have a big offseason, he will just continue his mediocrity. Bill Stull will never have that "it" factor to get your team a win. Tyler Palko had "it", think Notre Dame, it was his "fuckin" team. Will Bill Stull ever grasp the whole team? No.

GRADES: Stull--C, Cross--A

RUNNIN BACK Y'ALL: Shady McCoy was a Heisman candidate before the season started, but he quickly lost all hope after the loss to Bowling Green. Shady has been decent this year, but he didn't really change much for the better in the offseason. He still has his big runs, but I expected more. LaRod is my offensive captain and MVP right now. Dude is ballin' out of control.

GRADES: Shady--B, LaRod--A+

FULLBACK: Pitt really does have weapons here, sorry no one knows about them. Redge has dropped some passes, but I can't warrant a grade.

GRADES: N/A, Thanks Uncle Dave

TIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHT ENDS: Another position where we have the ballers, but we don't know how to use them. I am currently looking up the statistics of the tight ends on this team. The Floss is going to be very pissed at the results. Yep, pretty pissed. Currently Nate Byham is on pace for a startlingly low 24 grabs. So math majors, 2 catches a game, for a kid that is a leader on the field, works hard, doesn't quit, etc. UN-ACCEPTABLE. Dorin Dickerson, the former savior, is on pace for 18 catches. This is all due to Uncle Dave and Cav's hate to throw the ball over the middle of the field.

GRADES: A-minus to both, they do it when they get the chances.

WIDE RECIEVERS: One of the best positions for the Panthers going into the season has been a huge flop. However, the main reason is coaching. Oderick Turner is a CANCER for this team. He is like the ulcer on collective dippers' lips. He sucks. Drops more than he catches and in his 3 years playing, he may have made one great play. Kinder bounced back nicely from injury, but he doesn't look like the same guy who scored that 80 yard TD against Cincinatti 2 years ago. Ced Mcgee has been pretty money, which is why we call him Ced Money. TJ has continued to make plays. His only knack is that he loves getting in the dogghouse, or the Wannhouse. Jonathan Baldwin was the 2nd most heralded recruit of the Wanny era only behind Shady(and it was damn close). Yet he has been on the field very few. Pray that he gets on the field against the Bulls.

O-LINE: Actually the line has been decent. If they were this good last year, Patty B would still be the starter. All I know is that Joe Thomas gets better every week, thank god. Malecki has been solid. Houser has been an upgrade over Vangas. CJ is CJ. Pinky is good. They are formidable. Hard for the Floss to evaluate the line, although they did help us get nearly 250 bills on the ground against D-1AA Syra-lose.

GRADES: C+, could be a lot worse

D-LINE: The strength of the D, preseason was the interior, but they have just been okay sans Mick Williams. However, due to a mysterious(possibly Buddy Morris) factor, they are always fresh at the end of the game. Wanny does a solid job rotating 5 guys there. Just a solid middle. The ends are getting better week by week. All I have to say about the ends is this: Pre-game Thursday night, people will be talking Selvie, post-game it will be Romeus and Sheard. Dudes are beasts and T-Tuck has been better than expected.

GRADES: B+

BACKERS: Tough position to evaluate due to 2 starters being out. Scott McKillop has won BE defensive player of the week twice, we know dat dude. Greg Williams probably will be a 4 year starter. He was awesome against Iowa. Austin Ransom flys to the ball and probably shouldn't be out there on Thursday. He has played solid. Say it a million times, Fields at LB against spread teams.

GRADES: B

SECONDARY: Aaron Berry has been a good player for this team now for two years. He is a solid B grade so far. Much like Tony Tucker, Jovani Chappel has been a very pleasant surprise this year. Safeties have been shaky at best. First it was the Dom Decicco fiasco in the first two games, now he is the man. Elijah Fields looked to be the answer until he goes and gets pissed on against 'Cuse. Basically they both have shown flashes, and will be good. Eric Thatcher is still 5'9 and 175 pounds. He doesn't tackle particularly well and doesn't really make big plays. Thatch is also as intimidating as Clay Aiken .

GRADES: B--Corners, C-minus--Safeties

COACHING: My favorite thing about the coaching staff, is well...nothing. Okay maybe the D-Line rotations. On offense, I hate how vanilla we are. I hate how they refuse to play Jonathan Baldwin, although this is rapidly changing. I hate how they continue to play Oderick Turner, who either doesn't try or just blows. I hate how we are the only team in college football who doesn't get creative. I hate how our most successful offensive formation last year, the Wildcat, has been X-ed out of the offense. Things I like, they run the ball a lot. I actually believe in running the ball. Clock management isn't as important in college as the pros, but with our kind of offense it is. I just wish they would use Redge, Hyno, Collier, and Shariff Harris. None of them can redshirt, so give them a few chances to shine. On defense, I hate how we stay in the base defense unless it is a clear cut nickel or dime situation. Mix up the fronts, play some more corners, I don't know, just changing it up will help. Pitt has just lucked out three weeks in a row on defense because they played pro style offenses instead of playing spread teams that can spread out a 4-3. Obviously the 4-3 hurt us against Bowling Green, where their spread attack dinked and dunked all the way down the field. Remaining on the schedule, Pitt plays 2 true spread teams(WVU, USF), 3 Pro Styles(Rutgers, ND, and Cinci), 1 good tweener offense(Uconn), 1 average tweener offense(The L), and whatever Navy runs. So basically unless we adjust to teams, our defense really only matches up fine with 3 of the 8 remaining teams. This coaching staff has actually earned some credibility the past three weeks, but in true Wanny fashion, I expect a heavy dose of Fuck Up.

GRADES: C-MINUS--WANNY, C-MINUS--CAV, C--BENNETT

UN-BEAT-A-BULLS

South Florida is undefeated and the clear cut favorite to win the Big East(watch out for Uconn though), but this Pitt team is ready. They laid a BIG BIG egg in week one against Bowling Green, but since have bounced back. The wins weren't all that pretty, but when Wannstedt only had 13 wins vs. D1 opponents in 3 years, a win is a win. Plus we have hit some milestones this year. Wanny won his first off a bye week. We beat a Big 11 team for the first time in Wanny's tenure. We came back from 8 points down in the fourth quarter at Syracuse and won by 10. The Floss actually likes our chances this week. I wish I knew how healthy George Selvie was because if he is less than 70%(still probably better than Joey T and probably Pinky), Pitt should run at him the whole first half. Our offense will not be able to keep up(understatement of the year). What we do have is a good running game. Do you remember West Virginia, when we just kept the ball out of their hands most of the game? Exactly what we need to do again. This could be a Wanny type game to win because his pro mentality is the right idea. Come out, run the ball, win the field position game, and score when the opportunities are there. In a perfect World, Pitt will control the ball something like 18-12(minutes) in the first half and be tied or within 7. A lead would actually be bad for the Panthers to have in this game. Seriously. A lead just leads(pun not intended) to extra conservative on both sides of the ball. Like I said, more runs on offense aren't a bad thing as long as we get a few yards a pop. 3rd and longs murder any team, but I don't want Billy getting blitzed too much. But the D can't just sit back and let them take what they want from 20 to 20. That is the main problem with our D, we don't come out aggressive til we are pinned back by our goal line. Like I said, Pitt cannot jump out to a big lead. I would rather deal with their overrated crowd than watch our D sit back. So 3 keys to the game:

1. Score when the opportunities are there (7's not 3's)
2. Be aggressive on D
3. Run the football

RANT OF THE DAY

I was at the Steeler game the other night and the fans booed Ben Roethlisberger. You don't boo Ben. You don't boo Ben. You don't boo Ben. He won the Steelers' their only Super Bowl in the last nearly 30 years. He had 35 touchdowns last year, won the division, and should have won the playoff game. Steeler fans love the backup, but really Lord Byron. We aren't in the MAC here. Remember Kent Graham, Jim Miller, Mike Tomczak, Queerdell, Tommy Gun. Booing Ben Roethlisberger is like booing your mother after one bad dinner. She's brought you this far and your going to get that upset over one turkey casserole gone wrong. Grow the fuck up.

BACK AGAIN

The NHL Playoffs were severly draining to not only the Pens, but the Floss as well. Looking back, it happened really fast, but what a ride the Pens had. I didn't expect Detroit's experience to kill the Pens as much as it did. The home ice was a huge factor too. If we start in the 'Burgh and take 1 of 2, I think the series might have went differently, but the Wings earned everything they got. Too many great memories from this season to think of. I never associated the start of summer with hockey in my life, but I have a feeling that Crosby and Co. will change that for the next 10 to 15 years of my life.

SHHHH....DON'T TELL ANYONE, BUT THE PIRATES ARE A BASEBALL TEAM

Did anyone even know baseball was going on during the hockey playoffs, probably not, but the Pirates actually are fielding a team...IN JUNE. It might seem stupid to get excited about a 33-34 baseball team on June 13th, but honestly why not? If the Pirates reach .500 tonight, it would be the first time since 1999 they had been .500 this late in a season. It might seem like a very marginal accomplishment, but anything that could happen for the first time in 9 years is worth noting. The Pirates have a chance at 2 All Stars, possibly 3 if the X-Man, N-Dog, and J Bay tear it up for the next month. Scary as it may sound, the Pirates hitting nucleus is quite solid. This team really does have talent. If Doumit can improve his defense, he becomes one of the best all around not just power hitting catchers in baseball. Steady Freddy is going to give you close to .300 and 75 RBI's a year. Jack Wilson is Mr. Dependable at short. A low average, great defensive player. Bay, Nate, and Nady are one of the top outfields in the NL, probably all of baseball. The offense only has 2 holes, both corners of the infield. Adam LaRoche should be benched and possibly burned in hell because he is such a disappointment. Jose Bautista is average, but hasn't been consistent enough. The Pirates have no immediate player to step in at third for the long term. Just stop gaps such as Gomez or Go Home and Doug "not even trying to spell that one". Doug ManCaveItch has added a grit to this team. Any player that will come out and call out dirty, trailer trash Randy Johnson is good in my book. So third base looks like it will be Pedro Alvarez if the Bucco's sign him(if they don't, there should be a boycott). Don't count out Pitt's own Jimmy Negrych, a 5'9, 3 or 2B player who is currently at tops of the Carolina League in high A ball with an average of .358, .15 points higher than Matt Wieters. He has over 20 more bases than anyone on the Lynchburg Hillcats as well. Sorry for the Pitt plug. To go into the pitching situation would be more difficult than conducting triple bypass surgery. It is a very fragile situation that will ultimately bring this team out of legitimate contention for a wild card spot. Steve Blass was saying on air the other day that a few years ago the Pirates popped champagne bottles in the Chicago Cubs visitor lockerroom's because they guaranteed less than 90 losses. So for anyone discounting how big .500 is to this team is just FUCKING lying to themselves. LETS GO BUCS. WE BELIEVE.

KOBE

Kobe Bryant is one of my favorite NBA players. I used to buy into the MJ comparison. Not after last nights performance. You can't just look at the numbers either. Re-watch the last minute or so, Kobe is sleeping. MJ wouldn't have let that happen.

SIDENOTE ON BSV'S

Today the Floss got the ears lowered at a SuperCuts. As the sexy, dirty haircutter was cutting my hair, a thought popped into my head. She would make a great BSV. She talks longer to her clients than a BSV needs too. No offense to her or hairdressers as a whole, but stereotypically they are just as trashy as most BSV's. This could work out well.

-Flosssssssssssin'

DANCING WITH LORD STANLEY

Although the Floss tries to come up with more creative titles usuall, Mike Lange's call being re-played over the radio waves is in my head and for good reason. Until now Lord Stanley to me was just the most dominant Pap of all time. Lord Stanley's Cup is what we are playing for now. The coolest trophy in all of pro sports. Way cooler than a ring(which you get anyway), cooler than a crystal football(the Floss would drop it), cooler than the World Series trophy(which looks like a bunch of rods sticking out of a tree stump), the Cup is just cooler damnit.

Reading the Post Gazette the other day got me very sad about the future of the Pens. I had realized that it wouldn't be the same every year due to the salary cap and all that, but 12 un-restricted free agents is a ton. Knowing that Hossa was a rent-a-player is almost a sad concept, but it is all business. If you think about all the players who probably won't be back, it really hurts because we have grown to love them during the past season(further with some). Ruutu, Orpik, Laraque, Malone(hopefully not), Talbot, GOD Roberts, Dupuis, it just sucks. Some may be back, strongly pulling for Malone, Talbot, and Dupuis, but you never know. This Penguins team has been more lovable than the Steelers team that just won the Super Bowl in Detroit(wink wink) only 2 and a half years ago. In football, the second stringers don't do much. In hockey, everyone plays. This season so many players contributed at some point, it just seems fitting that they all deserve to kiss Lord Stanley's Cup. Even Kris Beech up there chewing in the players suite(I see ya kid). I just love this team. I think this team deserves a Cup. A story book season. This team lost the best hockey player on the planet for a large part of the season and never lost a beat, because they have the second best hockey player on the planet. They lost an elite goaltender for a long period of time, only to see a journeyman come fill in and play like a Hall of Famer. An aging veteran making one last go round. A star player trying to earn his first Cup while silencing the critics who say he doesn't play in big games. A team playing under new owners who put their necks out their to save hockey in Pittsburgh. A team that wants to win for Mario Lemieux who saved hockey in this town. I just don't see why our rag-tag band of stars and scrappers shouldn't beat the FUCK out of the old ass Red Wings. Why should the Pens win this series? Just because.

FLOSSY PREDICTION: PENS IN 5, IN DETROIT

RANDOM RAMBLINGS

-Yeah I did it this way because Simmons did it this way, it's my blog I will do what I want.

-To win in the NBA, you need guys who can run the pick 'n roll and guys who will play defense.

-You could also have Kobe or LeBron in the NBA. I know Bron Bron is gone, but really, could the rest of the Cavs beat the Heat at the end of the year, NO.

-Gregg Popovich might be the best NBA coach I see in my lifetime. And I've seen the zen master Phil Jackson.

-Doc Rivers is a moron. I never thought I would root for the Pistons. One of my top favorite players on the Pistons is Flip Saunders. Yeah, and this is the team I'm rooting for.

-Murrysville used to have cheap chew. O the good 'ol days.

-The parquet floor at the Garden is one reason to root for the C's, maybe the only reason.

-Did I mention that the Pens are in for a DECADE OF DYNASTY?(trademark)

-The Buccos are officially the Succos again. Back to normalcy.

-Brad Lincoln is off his 2 years of rehab and is pitching again, nice.

-Pitt still doesn't have a football commit. What the hell?

-Pitt football will win 9+ next year, more on this later.

-Nas Robinson still hasn't qualified for college, and Devin Ebanks to WVU, damnit.

-The Paper might be the most entertaining MTV show yet. The gay kid on that show is hilarious.

-Best season of the Real World in a while.

-I gave up on Tila.

-Your 2008 Conn Smythe Winner: Marc Andre Fleury

-If you had a choice would you work for Decicco Construction or paint houses with Luke Nix? These are important things to think about.

-floss

THANK YOU PHILLY

The first response to the title of this blog was probably, WTF?! A wise man (Mr. Shenanigans, all 3 readers know exactly who I'm talking about) once told me: "Philly fans are such douchebags, but I love them". I never really grasped this concept until the Pens-Flyers series started. Sure, Philly fans love getting drunk and starting E-A-G-Zero Super Bowls(thats how it goes right?) chants. They just never really got under my skin. Until now. My new stereotype of Philly is a New York macho attitude combined with a Jersey ego. Basically a douchebag. Sure they are a bunch of genuises with those "Crosby Sucks" chants. Real original guys. Philly can remember this game as, well, at least Pittsburgh didn't sweep us in '08. I don't know what TV set yins watched the game on tonight, but unfortunately mine was carried by a local Philly television station, o wait that was just Versus. Honestly, if the announcers want to wear Flyers jerseys and chant "Let's Go Flyers", I might be all for that. It was honestly an embarassment to the half-assed network that Versus is. Honestly, MTV could produce a better telecast than Versus. What really set me off tonight was a text message I received from one of the douchebags, "Crosby is such a bitch. I wouldn't want him on my team regardless of talent". Really? All I could really say to this was, "I will call you when he is kissing the Cup". So to the Flyers and all of Philly, Thank You for renewing the hate that I should have had for you all this time. P.S. The Cup goes through Pittsburgh. Bring It FUCKERS.

POOP PANTS

Joe Paterno was hospitalized today for dehydration. Honestly, I hope the man gets better, but give up coaching for real. He is such an arrogant prick that he wants to beat Bobby Bowden by ruining the program he built. Go for it, ruin the program. Force JayPa into power for all I care, just stop making a mockery out of real college football coaches.

BUCCOS

I hate to give them the kiss of death, but has the Floss ever been on the Bucco train recently. All it took was a little bit of winning. Nate McClouth is playing like a bonafide All-Star. He is on pace for 40!!!!!!!!! Home Runs. Crazy I know, but you gotta believe in the N-Dog. Sucks that Doumit is on the shelf for a minimum of 4 weeks, but Paulino should be able to hold his own. All the other position players are quietly tearing the cover off the ball. Shhh, they might get wind of people caring and get nervous. As for the pitching, it has been quite frankly, BAD. They are actually winning close games and games in the late innings. I should clear up, that the starting pitching has been bad. We had to forfeit all of Matt Morris' starts which hurt. Dumatrait is pitching solid, but someone find me a righty. The bullpen has pitched fantastic. You have 2 set-up guys in Yates and Marte(really filthy right now). Glad we got Yates for nothing by the way. A lefty specialist in Grabow. And Matt Capps is closing the door faster than he can eat a dozen of donuts. If the Pirates win this weekend series against the Cubs the Floss will...(suggestions welcomed, however not too crazy since it is a 3 game series in May). If they go over .500, I'm writing in Russell/Huntington on my ballot in November(one of the Floss' favorite cliche's). WE BELIEVE.

EXCUSE MY MENDEN-BONER

The NFL Draft could be the most overhyped sports day of the year...that is flippin awesome. Roger Goodell's first great idea as Commish was to move the draft back to 3 o'clock. I don't know the actual reason behind this, but it definitely works if you have a massive hangover and need 3 extra hours to recover. It also works if you are a real person and have to do something with your kids or wife on Saturday's. Plenty of morning time before 3 o'clock. Not too mention Goodell shortened the clock to 10 min in the first round. Did anyone else notice that teams pulled the trigger faster this year because of it? Before I guess NFL teams felt like they were supposed to sit on the clock for the whole 15 minutes acting like they hadn't been scouting who they were going to pick for the past 4 months. The first round was over in a whooping 3.5 hours. If that didn't make you want to hang around for the 2nd round I don't know what would. The only beef I might have with the draft is that it should be a nationwide catch up on rain day. Think about it, women can go shopping and not feel bad, men can watch the draft and not feel bad. Since only Ms. Mother Nature can control if it rains(bring 'em on babe), we could play rain day rules, like shopping and laziness being okay. Okay, now onto the analysis of the Steelers draft picks plus their number choices:

ROUND 1: RASHARD MENDENHALL, RB, ILLINOIS, NUMBER 34

The Floss loved all 3 "REAL" first round running backs, and I wanted them to take a RB pretty bad, because I thought the OT's were overrated, based solely on the fact that Jeff Otah was highly regarded. He is a bum in my book, which is saying a lot since he doned the blue and gold, albeit for 2 years. Back to the real deal Rashard Mendenhall. He is a perfect compliment to FWP(Fast Willie Parker). FWP wasn't going to be able to continue at his production level getting 300 carries a year. The 2 RB system is very common in the NFL, and if you think about it, FWP is a perfect fit for a 2 RB system. This was also a great pick because there were no other options on the WDB(Walde Draft Board). Once Jonathan Stewart went to Carolina, I was hoping for a corner, particularly Aqib Talib, but he went at 20. I didn't think Mendenhall would last, but I knew Jerry Jones would stick to Arkansas and Felix the Cat. When he was at pick 23, I had made a previous bet of 3 back to back to back shots of Old Crow if the Steelers got him. That will always be my memory of Rashard Mendenhall, 3 shots of Old Crow. Yes. As for his number, I hate it. Best comment I heard was from the DDPL yesterday(referring to his number), "what is he another Verron Haynes?". My response, "uh, he is from Illinois, it might be for Walter Payton". With all that being said, couldn't he have picked something in the 20's?

ROUND 2: LIMAS SWEED, WR, TEXAS, NUMBER 14

Everyone and their Mother knows I LOVE BIG BEN, so a tall WR is just what the doctor ordered here. While their may have been a lineman on board, he probably wasn't worth it. All linemen especially OT's were drafted a half round high anyways. Limas Sweed's biggest knock is a wrist injury. Wrist injuries aren't even real. If it was a knee, I would be worried. Remember the last player who dropped to the Steeler's because of injury concerns. Yeah, Heath Miller. DROF also pointed out that with a name like Sweed, he couldn't wait to hear fans cheer Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed. These are things that I wouldn't see until it actually happens. That's why DROF gets the big bucks. Also as far as numbers go, 14 is pretty dope. WR's that pick numbers outside of the 80's are cool.

ROUND 3: BRUCE DAVIS, OLB, UCLA, NUMBER 53

I wish I could tell you that he was on my radar in this draft, but I have never heard of him. His dad played in the NFL, good bloodlines. Rush Ends are cool. Good size, good number choice.

ROUND 4: TONY HILLS, OT, TEXAS, NUMBER 66

Yay. A lineman. A tackle even. He should be able to beat out Trai Essex for a backup spot. Nice pickup. Him and Limas can go apartment shopping together. Way to pick Faneca's number. Pap is going to be shocked when he sees black Faneca next year.

ROUND 5: DENNIS DIXON, QB, OREGON, NUMBER 2

The sexiest pick since Limas Sweeeeeeeeeeed in the second round. The original D-Dix(sorry Dorin, you come in second) was a pimp in college at the quarterback position. I just didn't see him playing that in the NFL. I was thinking the Steelers were going to use him like Randle El or at least in some crazy Bruce Arians packages. He is not the future at backup QB. Charlie Pittsburgh is definitely safe this year. D-Dix won't make the squad, unless he is moved.

ROUND 6(a): MIKE HUMPAL, MLB, IOWA, NUMBER 55

Only one good year at Iowa, where he had 120+ tackles, so he might have a solid upside(Mel comment). From everything I read he can probably be a good special teamer, so a good pickup in the 6th round. On his number, now I get to explain to Pap who the white Joey Porter is. Thanks. Couldn't he have picked 57, because no one would know the difference between him and Clint Kriedwalt.

ROUND 6(b): RYAN MUNDY, S, MICHIGAN, NUMBER 29

The Floss refuses to acknowledge the one year of college football Mundy played in Morganhole for the queers, so he is just going to be a Michigan guy, deal? However, factoring in that he is local(Woody High vs. McKeesport), played for a min. year at WVU, and is number 29, Mundy should have a role on this team. His new name: Ridi Mogan(Ryan+Chidi, Mundy+Logan).

Overall I LOVED the draft for the Steelers. I don't think they would have contended next year with an upgrade on the O-Line. Any upgrade wouldn't have been big enough really. Defensively, no drop off should happen from Clark Haggans to Woodley/Timmons. The cornerbacks are getting better by the minute. Troy should be healthy. Davis/Timmons/Woodley hopefully will help get some sacks. Offensively, we might score 80 points a game. Kidding aside, just think of our skill players, and try and find a team as loaded. Top 5 QB, A top 10 RB and a top 20 RB(Mendenhall is that good NOW), Top 5 TE in AFC, then a WR corps that boasts a solid veteran, an up-and-coming STUD, a new big rook, and a decent 4(Nate Wash). It could be the most offensively talented team in a LONG LONG time for the Steelers.

FISHIN' FOR PENGUINS (PART TRES)

The Floss has been speaking about a "secret" plan to reveal why he hasn't posted in forever(still faster than those real people over at the truthbrush), but I lied. The sad excuse is that I had a lot of finals studying to do. Then I had a lot of moving out to do, combined with drinking my face off and going to Happy Valley, not too mention being completely consumed within Pitt Spring Football, the Pens, and the NBA. So here it goes(look for my other write-ups on the Pens and the NHL, the NBA, and the state of Pitt football):

Plans went according to schedule other than RTHB deciding that we should take a long cut to Deer Creek through Penn Hills and Oakmont rather than take the TurnPike like every other American. When RTHB, COF, DROF, and the Floss arrived, we could see the tents. My first reaction was WOW, really testing nature being 20 yards away from our car. The camp/fishing site was only about 100 yards from Pittsburgh Indoor Soccer Arena. The only obstacle in the way was Deer Creek. The creek was about 10 yards wide and about 2 feet deep. From what I had heard before, this creek was a combination of Niagara Falls and Mount Everest in difficulty level. However, all you need is hip waders. Possibly the greatest invention since the wheel or the television. The amazing thing about hip waders is how comfortable they are. I could walk around in hip waders all day. If puddles ever become a problem in Oakland, I'm bringing out the hip waders. What shocked the Floss the most was, that the next morning, after multiple creek crossings and living in muddy, slushy(and meaty, cheesy, syrupy) water for 17 hours, my socks were still dry. Unbelievable. Still dry. Honestly for 20 dollars, hip waders might be the most efficient purchase on the planet. I might paint on some Steeler logos and rock them all tailgate season(if it wasn't dead). The night started out with Tim the HHR making some steak sandwiches on the fire. He even cooked peppers and onions for the steak sandwiches. It would have been nice if he cooked the steak(honestly, the bloodiest steak ever, still great). Then we brought out the radio to listen to Game 2 of the Pens-Sens series. It was a blast to listen to the game, even if we couldn't watch. In case your memory is bad, the Pens win(like every game) on a Ryan Malone wrap around, then he caps it with an empty netter. Then we caught the tail end of a rain delayed Pirates game which ended in a shocking 1-0 win with a Jason Bay homerun. If the Pens and Buccos winning weren't a great sign I don't know what was. After these games ended is when the night started to get blurry. The Floss remembers a blistering rain storm that lasted for under 40 minutes, which was not bad since it was supposed to pour all night. I remember Tim the HHR dropping the line of the night after COF put on his rain gear(yellow jump-suit): "You look like the fag teletubby". Great name drop, but thats why they call him the HHR. The Steelers draft was a big topic of discussion down 'er in Deer Creek. None of us said Mendenhall, but what a great pick that was. The Floss made it through the night after about 6 dips, 12 shots of Old Crow, 12 beers, and a 45 min nap(shits wizzzzzeak). When the morning arrived, we were all drowsy and ready to fish. By the morning, I had noticed many a fishermen had lined up to catch some fish. The morning brought me my first dilemma, go with the old faithful Zebco push button, or with the new fandangled Blue Rod that I do not know how to cast. We went with the old faithful. Since DROF was most certainly drunk and ready to fish, we posted up with about a half hour to go talking about how we both needed to catch a fish. Across the creek were some yinzers who were posted up on a cliff that was probably a 20 foot drop, but enough to be funny if they fell. DROF and the Floss basically made up their conversations for the remaining 30 minutes. Most went like this:
DROF as yinzer: "Dang ol, dang ol, yous know Ima catch da biggest trout today"
Floss as yinzer: "Shoot, I a been out fisherin you for yeeeeaaaaaaaaaarrrsss"
DROF: "Do you want a Busch?(Then he would try to push the actual Floss in the water while distracting him with one of these anecdotes)

So when 8 o clock came, I remember it as not being as New Years Eve as I had hoped. DROF and I casted out into the water. Then the most amazing thing happened, I actually reeled in a trout. The excitement was great, but the Pitt Blue-Gold Game was next weekend, so we didn't get too far ahead of ourselves. But the flood gates were open on this morning, everyone caught 5+ fish, none of them much bigger than the others. I don't even know what else to say about opening day of trout. It was just awesome. Nothing too crazy happened. It was just a great day. Maybe next year someone will fall into the water or off a cliff. I don't know. For now the Floss is just ready for a great fishin' season.

FISHIN' FOR PENGUINS(PART DUECE)

The weather sucks out tonight, good thing the Pens play indoors. Sadly being unable to watch the game, the Floss will be listening on his crank radio and relying on text messages which will be sent to his cell phone in a ziploc bag. DROF and the Floss managed to keep it pretty low key last night. We both broke the no liquor rule, but no hangover for me today. DROF a mild hangover, so all in all we are quite ready. The only problem in the forseeable future is that we dined at Golden Corral for lunch today. For those of you who don't know, it is a buffet where the food goes out as fast as it comes in. A long night in the woods with irritable bowels could lead to worse fishing and a mean Floss. DROF and I were supposed to buy "bait rags" for the gang tonight, but upon going to the local bait n tackle shop, we were laughed at and told to use old rags from home. I did purchase a 15 dollar full rain gear suit. The package looked really legit, but it was another example of getting what you pay for. I should have stuck with garbage bags. The trip was not a complete waste. Behind the backs of COF and others, DROF and I decided to pick up a handle of THE Old Crow whiskey for the trip(Why sail with the captain when you can fly with the crow?). Honestly, 3 30 packs for what looks now like 17 hours(7-12) of drinking in the rain. We thought you were better than that COF. For the fans who are Pitt students or wannabe Pitt students(B Man), when you wake up tomorrow look for the Victory Lights to be on at the Cathedral signaling the shark that the Floss has reeled in. GOOOOOOO FISHHHHH

GAME DOS

What a game one for the Pens? Could you have asked for a better start. 2 goals from the 4th line. Malkin got off to a hot start. Sid didn't need to do anything, and we still got a W. Physically we sent a message. Fleury got his confidence sky high. The penalty kill was awesome, killing 2 partial 5 on 3 situations. Game dos will be a different game though. Ottawa is probably going to come out very fired up after the game one ass-whooping. I see a tough one tonight for the Pens. I'm saying the Pens win on an OT goal by Jordan Staal. He has been coming so close. It's almost like why not him tonight? 2-1 in OT. LETS GO PENS