WHAT'S IN A NAME?

Protestors in the Sudan are demanding the execution of the British schoolteacher who let her class of Sudanese children name a stuffed teddy bear, Mohammad. She was convicted of insulting religion and sentenced to 15 days in jail. Protestors at the scene were armed with knives and swords. The protestors are angered at the 15 day jail sentence because it is not harsh enough. Other punishments that Ms. Gibbons could have faced were 40 lashings, up to a year in jail, and/or fines. The Floss doesn't usually take stances on religion, but this is ridiculous. First of all, she let the class pick the name. It isn't her fault that the kids are exposed to the name Mohammad every day. They are 7 year old kids. They did not try to deface the Muslim religion. Not too mention that her punishment is too harsh already. Where does the school come in on this? They could have fired her or suspended her without pay, but instead she has to serve time. The funniest part of the story is the fact that the Sudan allows lashings as forms of punishment. How can you even take the Sudan as a serious country? Ms. Gibbons should be freed and get the hell back to her homeland, Britain. God Bless America.

FELIZ CUMPLEANOS

First a special Happy Birthday to my biggest fan, Dom Berardinelli. The Floss wishes you many more. I was thinking about birthdays and what they meant to me. I can give you a run down on birthdays 1 through 21(Note, 2 years away). Enjoy

1. First taste of birthday cake, mmmmm.

2-4. Who cares?

5. I feel like this is the birthday or at least year when you get the battery car that you can drive and you can pimp the neighboorhood hoes.

6. Now you get a bike, fuck bikes.

7. Game systems time, Super Nintendo was a dope present

8. Action hero era is in its prime(note the Rockers, Marty Jeannetty and Shawn Micheals)

9-12. The last three years of toys, a mess of 4 years of birthdays.

13. Teenager, wooo. One of your last uncorrupted years.

14. Videogames, start talking about driving.

15. Start getting clothes as presents, goes downhill.

16. Got my first car, an awesome birthday.

17. The in-between birthday. Shitty.

18. Chewphoria. Great feeling.

19. Canada. Fuck the US Dollar.

20. Haven't been there yet. The worst in-between birthday.

21. THE MECCA.

A LEGEND FALLS

Daredevil Evel Knieval died at the age of 69 today. Not popular in much of the past decade. His legend lives on whenever anyone tries to do insane jumps. He was fearless. He lived his life on the edge. His 69 years were impressive due to the nature of his career. "People wanted to associate with a winner, not a loser. They wanted to associate with someone who kept trying to be a winner--Evel Knieval." This quote sums up the legend of Evel Knieval although doesn't it sound a lot like Rece Bobby in Talladega Nights. Sadly, this quote stood out most to me the most in the article on his death. The Floss would like to send out condolenses to the Knieval family.

In Always Being a Winner.

T'AINT THE SEASON

After a long Turkey Day hangover, the floss is back. When I last wrote about how great Thanksgiving is, I forgot to mention something wrong with Thanksgiving. I didn't really think about it 'til I read the paper on Thanksgiving, but at 12:01 on Friday, Black Friday started. Christmas season doesn't start before the leaves are off the trees. We need the first real snow before shopping should begin. Christmas shopping is one of my favorite DAYS of the year. That's right, I said DAY. It is absurd to believe that it is necessary to shop for more than maybe 2 days each year. Then I overhear my sister start talking about shopping Friday. I then find out that my sister is going shopping at 3:30 AM Friday. I was talking about this with my cousin Matt, a much wiser figure, and he described this as tailgating for women. My mom said that was exactly what it was(she was making plans for next year). I don't know if I understand it, but there is a lot less booze and food but a lot more psychotic fans(womens, thats you). Personally, I did not take Friday for granted one bit. I got some rest into Friday, probably because I was hungover as hell. Then I went and played in a smaller size Turkey Bowl(much more festive than shopping). Then I layed on my ass hungover and watched football for the bulk of the day. I think WE all know which is right here.

***A term coined on Thanksgiving this year: Best Dip of the Year Day. After turkey dinner, nothing goes better than a chew. The autumn and winter chew is Skoal Mint(Dom agrees).

GRASS GETS RICKY AGAIN

A different kind of grass got Ricky Williams in trouble Monday night, Heinz Field grass. Ricky Williams return was very disappointing and uneventful as he had minimal yards and a lost fumble. He also got a season ending injury. He didn't turn out to be the story of the game. That would be the "surface" at Heinz Field, if you can even call it a "surface". The grass over the sod was one of the worst ideas the Steelers ever had. Do you know who they consulted about the new field? Penn St. and Rutgers. Thanks guys. This game was terrible. This game should only be looked at as a W in the Win column. Take nothing from this game. Also a Flossin' congrats goes out to Willie Parker for getting over 1,000 yards for the 3rd straight year. He is also the leading rusher in the AFC.

A TEST WORSE THAN ANY HIGH SCHOOL EXAM

Murrysville teens took a huge blow this week. The Murrysville Police Department has just came up with one of the best ways to curb underage drinking and drug use. The school is sending out one free alcohol test strip to each family of a Franklin Regional High School student. The test is an instant swab in your kids mouth that will tell if your son/daughter has been boozin. After the initial freebie, parents can buy more tests at the police stations for a measly 3 bones a pop. They also offer weed tests for 4 bones and the grand kit for many illicit drugs for 12 bones. Basically for under 50 bucks a year, parents can have peace of mind if there kids are drinking or smokin dope. I personally see a problem with this because it isn't that hard to tell if someone has been drinking. The smell it, look it, and talk it. These tests take out the fun of trying to hide the fact you have been drinking from your parents. The peanut butter in the mouth(never tried it, but it apparently kills the smell). Wiping your clothes in dryer sheets(my friend Mike's fav), works great, just smells like your clothes are clean. I always liked the thrill and scared shitlessness of trying to hide it. Before I would go inside, I would put myself in the zone and get ready for battle. However, if I'm a parent, no doubt I would have these to check my kids with.

BRAWLIN'

The 100th edition of the Backyard Brawl happens this Saturday at 7:45 on ESPN. The Mountainqueers are playing for a shot to play for a Natty C. In the name of all that is holy, Pitt better win this game. I hate the whole state of West Virginia. I hate their players, I hate their fans, I hate their schemes, and I hate DickRod more than all of them. I hope it comes out this week that Noel Devine has robbed half the campus and is on 'roids. However, the realistic chance Pitt wins this game is about 10%. On a positive note, Shady McCoy was named a first team all freshman All American by Rivals and Scout. He was also named as one of the first team All BE running backs over Steve Slaton. He has 15 total TD's this season and 14 rushing which is the All time Pitt freshman record. Also congrats to Scott McKillop who still leads the nation in tackles per game. He should win this stat for the season because I expect him to make 20 plus tackles this week.

TILA UPDATE

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but my projected final three(compiled from odds) from this last entry are still all hangin around. My odds last time were as follows:
Amanda(10:1)
Dani(7:2)
Bobby(4:1)

Domenico took the bounce because his show value was up. Watching the other two guys cry was awesome when he got the boot. Brandi went crazy because thats what crazy chicks do, glad she didn't get let back in the house. Ryan probably got eliminated because he tried to rape Tila and his family was a bunch of stuck up NJ trash. His friends also used the word "bro" very nicely.

I think the in home visits didn't really change her opinion on any of the finalists. They all kept in their good standing with Ms. Tequila. My prediction for the final 2 might come to a shock to the fans of the Floss. I am saying Dani gets to steppin' this week. Why, you ask? She has been the favorite for the past few weeks, but I think Tila does not want a Rosie O'Donnel Home Depot dyke. I think she is looking for a lip stick lesbo. God Damn I'm excited for next week though.

The End.

A REAL SPORTS PROBLEM

It might be that I just read Mary Wollstonecrafts, "A Vindication of Woman's Rights" in my philosophy class, or it might be that i'm on drugs, who knows why this article is being written. There is a glaring problem going on in the world of sports outside of steriods and Cameragate. The problem is the perception of women in the sports world. The sideline reporter was brought to life in 1974 by ABC executive Roone Aldridge. Women became involved in this role as early as the 1980's. The sad part about these women sideline reporters is the label they get. They do not get respect for their knowledge of the game and are seen as figureheads, who ask stupid questions that just piss off coaches and players. First and foremost, sideline reporting is dumb anyways. Most avid sports fans agree that sideline reporting offers nothing of merit to a sporting event. So TV Execs obviously know the same, therefore, to stir up some interest, they introduced us to hot, female sideline reporters. Erin Andrews, former dance team member at the University of Florida, is ESPN's go to gal(If I was that kid in the Greg Brunner jersey, I would have this picture on every mantle in my house and over top my report card on the fridge). She does a great job and I do respect her limited reporting. But, seriously, her job is to draw interest because of her looks, not her reporting, sad but true. There are other gorgeous sideline reporters out there too as indicated by the website(http://www.sidelinehotties.com/). The first sideline gal I remember was Suzy Kolber, who is best remembered for Joe Namath saying he wanted to kiss her(one of the best sports moments of the decade). The original hottie, who has been displaced(only barely) by Erin Andrews, Bonnie Bernstein. Some of my other favorites include Colleen Dominguez, Rachel Nichols, and Jillian Barberie(Fox Weather Girl, biggest joke ever). A sad fact with all of these women is that they are mainly stuck to the sideline, except that Kolber used to host Edge NFL Matchup. The sad part is that women never get a chance in the booth of major sporting events. No one lets them go in the booth for a football game or announce a basketball game. The only one I can think of is Doris Burke, who has sadly announced a Pitt game this year. Although, it is very debatable if she has ever had a sex change, and putting her on the same page as Erin(notice I've moved on to a first name basis) is unjust. In our modern day sports world, 3 announcers are needed in the booth, there is no reason that an Erin Andrews couldn't be one of the 2 color "guys". ESPN still lets Thiesman broadcast and John Madden makes comments that my mom makes when watching a football game(ex. If this team wants to win, they need to get first downs and put up some points). Erin and Rachel are long overdue for a job in the booth. Here's to you, women of the sport's world.


STEELERS


Seriously, thanks for showing up yesterday guys. Their paychecks should be returned to the Rooneys, especially Tomlin's.


THANKSGIVING


The most underrated holiday on the American calendar is coming up on Thursday. Thanksgiving, in a nutshell, 3 best things goin, family, football, food. Great f-in day.
1. FAMILY--No one spends enough time with their family. It is a great day to sit around and argue about football, then get drunk.
2. FOOTBALL--First, gotta love how women get the TV in the morning for the Parade, quite possibly the lamest Turkey Day tradition(now I hate on women). The Lions are playing in the first meaningful Thanksgiving Day game in forever, vs. the Pack. Then you get the now red hot Jets playing Homo's Cowboys. Rooting against the Boys is always fun. The night game is on NFL Network and will have as many viewers as this blog.
3. FOOD--Really my favorite of the three. Sooo many side dishes that it is impossible to fit everything on your plate. Mashed potatoes, stuffing, corn, green beans, sweet potatoes, probably 9 other carb/veggie combos. Not too mention that everything I just mention can get covered in gravy. The only beef I have with Thanksgiving is that I'm not a big pumpkin pie guy. Give me a tall glass of milk and half a sheet cake for dessert.

Hugs and Handpounds

BECAUSE STONE COLD SAYS SO

PITT RECRUITING

Because this is primarily my blog(stay tuned for Terrence updates), I am going to give my top 10 recruits for Pitt left in this here college football recruiting season. These are not based on rankings as much as need for the Pitt football program. This also factors in probability of landing the recruit.

1. Jonathan Baldwin--Although Pitt has a plethora of WR's, this kid is a program changer. You also need to factor in that he is a Quip. He is down to basically ND and Pitt and ND has 21 commits right now and Pitt has seven. The probability here is likely. He is going to burst onto the college football scene as a true frosh and help make Pitt's offense near the top of the BE with Pat Bostick, Derek Kinder, TJ Porter, Moelicious(Moe Williams), Nate Byham, and of course Shady.

2. Steve Gardiner--He is supposedly down to Pitt and WVU unless he gets a B10 offer. If he gets a B10 offer he could be gone, especially if it is the Buckeyes. LB is a need for the Panthers and this kid is having a monster senior season. Basically Pitt needs either Gardiner or....

3. Doug Rippy--Another Buckeye state LB. He just broke his commitment to Nebraska because of the coaching situation. He has no visits set up other than to Pitt on Dec. 7th. Measured at 6'2, 217 and ran a 4.50 forty at the Pitt combine over the summer.

4. Hubie Graham--While Pitt will have 2 solid Jr. TE's on the roster next year, Pitt continually uses 3 TE sets. Pelusi and Byham are the only scholarship TE's on the roster next year. He is a PA kid who has a great relationship with Nate Byham. He is making his rounds on his officials, but I think when it is said and done, he will line up in a Panther uni. Best football name on the list.

5. Averin Collier--Ave is rated by Tom Lemming as a 5 star player and deservedly so. He really doesn't have a position at his current 5'11 200 pound body. He could probably turn into a CB or S at Pitt. He also has a brother on the team. Too much talent to not turn out to something.

6. Jared Holley--Subpar senior year has slowed his recruiting, but the kid is also really quiet on his recruiting. His offers might all be virtually gone except Pitt. Kid is still very athletic and should be in a Panther Uni come Feb. 6th.

7. Robb Houser--A center from Junior College that could come in and start for the Panthers. The last JUCO O-Lineman they got was Jeff Otah, who will be drafted on Day 1 of the NFL draft. Most likely will be starting next year because of lack of offers.

8. Tino Sunseri--I have been high on this kid from watching him play on TV. He is small, but has a good arm and mobility. Opened up his commitment to Louisville, probably won't come here, but he is much better than Zack Stoudt. Stoudt is somehow stringing the Panthers along waiting for another offer.

9. Terrelle Pryor--I haven't written off the nation's top prospect. As long as he doesn't make any quick decisions, I feel Pitt can hang in this race. Once basketball season starts to go full swing and his football season ends, he will frequent Pitt basketball games. Probably a long shot, but so was Shady. I love Bostick, but Pryor is too special to not want more than any player.

10. Cam Saddler--He is the player I want for this class just cause. He is a cocky, flashy, stud football player. The kid wants touchdowns every time he touches the ball. I don't know how he would fit in offensively, but he could provide a swagger for the team. Will be a leader on the tema from day one, wherever he goes I hope he has a sick college career.

Others worth noting, Dan Vaughan, Ryan Williams, Zack Stoudt, Shayne Hale, Tommy Streeter, and Mike Cruz

Sorry about this rant, but it was necessary. Also to any of the working class, Signing Day is a new drinking national holiday. My roomate Nate(bigger sports nerd than I) and I have started to organize this event. We will be drinking for every LOI signed and faxed to our Pitt Panthers. Others are encouraged for their team. We haven't come up with a drinking system yet, other than the day starting at 7:30.

Thursday Titties (Tidbits is Lame)--11/15

"When my time on Earth has passed, I hope they bury me upside down so my critics can kiss my ass"--Bob Knight

TILA TEQUILA

I don't know if you have been watching, but MTV has introduced its newest D-List celebrity show, Tila Tequila, although this celebrity is a beautiful, busty, bi-sexual(say it 5 times fast, it works). The premise is that a bunch of lesbians and straight dudes live in a house with her and eventually she will choose just ONE for love. They put her up in a house with possibly the worst cast ever on a TV show. The Rock of Love cast looks like an All Star Team of humans. She has made it to the final 6 of contestants. I would give you a summary to this point, but frankly it is on MTV any time you turn on the tube, so just check it out. Here are a summary of the final 6 cast members to get you excited(odds to win).

Terrible People (Lesbians)

Amanda(10 to 1)--Tallest Lesbian ever to not play in the WNBA. She could be a catch for any center in the NBA, but she plays for the wrong team. Huge cans though.

Brandi(20 to 1)--She is the hottest one left, way too trampy for a celebrity. From her cast bio, she was emancipated from her parents at 16. Guess I'm rooting for her if a lesbian must win.

Dani(7 to 2)--She is a firefighter. Her job is most likely rescuing "pussys" from trees. She describes herself as "futch", not feminine, but not butch. Yeah and I describe myself as MANTRO, not quite manly, but metro in the same. Last episode the cast voted her most compatible for Tila.

Broskis

Bobby(4 to 1)--New York film school student. Got beat up by a West Virginia hick earlier in the show. Last episode he said the L word to Tila, she just responded with a kiss. She has been on his D since the beginning.

Domenico(5000 to 1)--Straight from the home country(if your Bazzani). He sucks. Kept on for show value. He always rocks a speedo that grosses out the lesbians. If he wins, the show looks way way too fixed.

Ryan(15 to 1)--From the armpit of America(New Jersey). Has never done anything to win Tila's affection other than having 12 pack abs. Ok I will stop now.

Tila Tequila airs Tuesdays on MTV at 10, and re runs all the time.

THE BOSS

Springsteen came to Pittsburgh last night. It is his final North American tour so he says. He plans to finish his career on a Euro tour. Not the guy who wrote "Born in the USA". Rumors of a ballpark tour in the spring. I'm not a big disciple of Bruce, but "Glory Days" always gives the goosebumps at Heinz.

POLES 1, DAIGOS 0

From Tuesdays edition of The Pitt News, "Pitt professor first American to win Polish Award". Professor Oscar Swan was awarded the Polonicum Award by the University of Warsaw. He received the award for his efforts to spread Polish language and culture. Had to throw this news story in there because it combines 2 of my favorite things, Pollocks and Pitt.

NBA

Contrary to Eamon's wrong belief, the NBA is actually a very enjoyable sport. They are the best players from college basketball every year, which everyone loves. Where does the NBA go wrong? It is officiating and length of the schedule. In order to protect players, the NBA refs call fouls for anything. Last night in the Lakers--Rockets game, a foul was called on the Rockets after Mo Evans jumped into Vladimir Radmonavich(yes they are on the same team) because he fell hard and bitched. The refs are too protective of players which is smart because they are superstars playing in a season that lasts at minimum 82 games. The Ryan Walde solution is a shorter schedule, a 48 game schedule, about 12 games longer than an NCAA schedule. Then in the playoffs, have the first 2 rounds best-of-five and the conference and nba finals are best-0f-seven. Every game would mean a hell of a lot more, teams would be in contention longer. This solution would win fo shizzle.

My team:

The HOTLanta Hawks. They compete in the East, so they are always a contender. They have one of the most underrated players in the NBA in Joe Johnson. They have a really nice young nucleus. Marvin Williams, Josh Smith, Josh Childress, Al Horford, and Acie Law. Sadly the Dukie, the Landlord can't handle their uptempo basketball because he is good. This team puts up points. Another major factor is that they play in the same division, the Southeast, as Podkul's Orlando Magic. I've never heard of their coach, but if he keeps putting up over a hund a game, I'm down.

GOODBYE DEAR FLAT BRIMMED FITTED

http://www.wpxi.com/news/14553910/detail.html

Dear Ol' Franklin High is in the news for the wrong reasons, a fight against an opposing fan. Nevermind that the fan was in our student section and that he was EMO, fighting is unacceptable. If you closely watch the video, the Franklin student who clocks the kid is wearing a fitted. Showing my disgust, you will only see me in bent brim hats.

How Do You Like Me Now?

--Walde