The Floss learned a lot about hangovers in the aftermath of the battle vs. the Big Joe burgers...FOOD HANGOVERS. I have had some drinking ones in my day and a few of the Food Hangovers, so here are some of the levels of food hangovers, now promptly referred to as FANGOVERS.
CHINESE BUFFET
The Floss loves himself some chinese buffets. The fact that I'm never ballsy enough to get out of the control of the powerful General Tso or his favorite side dish beef lo mein makes buffets great. You can learn all about pepper steak, sweet and sour chicken, and spring rolls. The problem is that you just eat soooooo much. Normally topped off with some varying ridiculous chinese dessert(see Chinese doughnuts). The aftermath of the Chinese Fangover is not fun because your stomach doesn't really hurt too too bad. Probably because all of the food is a fake fill. A fake fill describes how you can eat so much, but still be hungry in t minus 2 hours. However, the porcelain god feels the aftermath of this Fangover. <4>4 you're at the Golden Palace in Oakland.
COLLEGE BUFFET
Everyone has been to a college buffet. The rumor is that they put laxative in all of the food so you get rid of it the natural way before you vomit it up like a shot of warm Black Velvet on a kitchen counter. The Floss doesn't believe in the laxative myth, but last night I had a different reaction to the college buffet. I ate a pretty decent amount of food, but nothing out of the ordinary. When I got home it was literally straight to bed. I just passed out for 2.5 hours from 8:45 to 11:15 PM. It was so weird. The symptoms of the college buffet Fangover are pretty hit or miss. Who knows what your getting (kind of like the Steelers in the 4th quarter)?
STEAKHOUSE
The steakhouse fangover is a stomach sickness that no one should feel. If you're doin it the right way, you are going to Texas Roadhouse. The Floss loves himself some TRH. You start by waiting with about 1 LB of peanuts, then move onto about 4 to 17 rolls with Ben Godlisberger's duck butter on it (yeah I said it). Then usually a bowl of chili followed by a 12 to 16 oz steak with the bacon and cheese topping plus a sweet potato. Literally, I have been incapacitated and unable to drive home from the Roadhouse. The stomach takes a while to come back to Earth after a steakhouse trip.
BIG JOE FANGOVER
This was an unprecedented hangover for the Floss. Literally, moving became way more difficult than after any amount of alcohol. After couching it for about 4 hours, I finally had to make some bathroom trips. It was a lot of bathroom trips for one day. Describing the amount of weight in my stomach is literally impossible. It was unlike any feeling I've ever felt.
Live Update: 12:43, OA(Oakland Arsonist) is watching Aladdin and asked the Floss what he would wish for?
11-1 and the Sugar Bowl.
Hail
10 comments:
Floss,
I would argue the college buffet hangover (according to your account) was not a hangover at all. Passing out after a large meal is an ideal eating situation. Nothing beats a nice nap after some artery clogging food.
I can't stop thinking about the Panthers, can we get your thoughts for this Friday's game vs. Slutgers?
wv: menti
drof uses binaca so that his breath smells menti fresh for the ladies.
-fof
You could have added Tailgateover on Monday mornings. No many how many showers you take, you will still smell like and feel charcoal in your body.
I yaked outside of Lonestar in Monroeville once. Know the feeling.
-CINC
WV: runicil
Floss needed a few tablets of runicl after Joes, to stop his runs.
I recommend a whole can of Copenhagen whiskey blend after a large meal. It takes care of bloating, helps you shit faster, and helps you pregame(no, there is no alcohol in it though).
**A rookie mistake in this circumstance would be using too little dip. Must place a whomper in your lip to achieve total satisfaction**
Also, what is your take on the Great Escape bar?
-doublenickel
wordv: gestinom
"Dr. Of wanted a bite of my hamburger, I told him fuck off. He said "C'mon, gimme gestinom""
Floss,
For whatever reason I couldn't stop thinking of how glorious a place Eddie's was while reading this blog. Whether it was the chicken tenders with fries/chicken philly cheese steaks/retarded lady that worked behind the deli counter/ or the guaranteed 30 mins post eddies bathroom run... that place had it all. Pour a little liquor out.
-Mr. S
Word V: toding
Floss often goes toding for females at the all you can eat chinese buffet.
"toding for females" is a great line.
Fast Eddies Sports Bar and Grill was a glorious spot, although not a true buffet, but with dinning dollars its all the same.
Floss, how bout sunday dinner hangovers after eating dips and glibs all day, then tons of food finished off by a piece of cake the size of your head? That mixed with saturday night boozing always brings dr.of to chugging pepto before bed.
I would also like some good thoughts for slutgers because my pitt boner has not yet subsided after that heart felt comeback with tyler palko and d blair in attendance.
word v: flingl
ddpl likes to meet women at the bar and take them home and flingl them
Word V: MYSION
Floss loves getting the ladies in the MYSIONary position.
Flossquire--
Who would you rather have at starting running back: Mendenhall or Parker? Also what do you make of this Jeff Reed fiasco. Does the man just take extra workouts or is he officially going to be a free agent at the end of the year?
-DblNick
word v: Exput
Danny K's answer after Dr.Of asked him out on a date: "Oooh Twerrence, I lub gowing to dah Powlish Clwub in Exput!"
To the commenter about Eddie's :
I feel your pain. On a return trip to Oakland I thought we were headed there until Floss told me it had closed. Ruined my weekend.
-TheClimaxPool
is ClimaxPool== Slamanna?
No its Slaxton
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