T'AINT THE SEASON

After a long Turkey Day hangover, the floss is back. When I last wrote about how great Thanksgiving is, I forgot to mention something wrong with Thanksgiving. I didn't really think about it 'til I read the paper on Thanksgiving, but at 12:01 on Friday, Black Friday started. Christmas season doesn't start before the leaves are off the trees. We need the first real snow before shopping should begin. Christmas shopping is one of my favorite DAYS of the year. That's right, I said DAY. It is absurd to believe that it is necessary to shop for more than maybe 2 days each year. Then I overhear my sister start talking about shopping Friday. I then find out that my sister is going shopping at 3:30 AM Friday. I was talking about this with my cousin Matt, a much wiser figure, and he described this as tailgating for women. My mom said that was exactly what it was(she was making plans for next year). I don't know if I understand it, but there is a lot less booze and food but a lot more psychotic fans(womens, thats you). Personally, I did not take Friday for granted one bit. I got some rest into Friday, probably because I was hungover as hell. Then I went and played in a smaller size Turkey Bowl(much more festive than shopping). Then I layed on my ass hungover and watched football for the bulk of the day. I think WE all know which is right here.

***A term coined on Thanksgiving this year: Best Dip of the Year Day. After turkey dinner, nothing goes better than a chew. The autumn and winter chew is Skoal Mint(Dom agrees).

GRASS GETS RICKY AGAIN

A different kind of grass got Ricky Williams in trouble Monday night, Heinz Field grass. Ricky Williams return was very disappointing and uneventful as he had minimal yards and a lost fumble. He also got a season ending injury. He didn't turn out to be the story of the game. That would be the "surface" at Heinz Field, if you can even call it a "surface". The grass over the sod was one of the worst ideas the Steelers ever had. Do you know who they consulted about the new field? Penn St. and Rutgers. Thanks guys. This game was terrible. This game should only be looked at as a W in the Win column. Take nothing from this game. Also a Flossin' congrats goes out to Willie Parker for getting over 1,000 yards for the 3rd straight year. He is also the leading rusher in the AFC.

A TEST WORSE THAN ANY HIGH SCHOOL EXAM

Murrysville teens took a huge blow this week. The Murrysville Police Department has just came up with one of the best ways to curb underage drinking and drug use. The school is sending out one free alcohol test strip to each family of a Franklin Regional High School student. The test is an instant swab in your kids mouth that will tell if your son/daughter has been boozin. After the initial freebie, parents can buy more tests at the police stations for a measly 3 bones a pop. They also offer weed tests for 4 bones and the grand kit for many illicit drugs for 12 bones. Basically for under 50 bucks a year, parents can have peace of mind if there kids are drinking or smokin dope. I personally see a problem with this because it isn't that hard to tell if someone has been drinking. The smell it, look it, and talk it. These tests take out the fun of trying to hide the fact you have been drinking from your parents. The peanut butter in the mouth(never tried it, but it apparently kills the smell). Wiping your clothes in dryer sheets(my friend Mike's fav), works great, just smells like your clothes are clean. I always liked the thrill and scared shitlessness of trying to hide it. Before I would go inside, I would put myself in the zone and get ready for battle. However, if I'm a parent, no doubt I would have these to check my kids with.

BRAWLIN'

The 100th edition of the Backyard Brawl happens this Saturday at 7:45 on ESPN. The Mountainqueers are playing for a shot to play for a Natty C. In the name of all that is holy, Pitt better win this game. I hate the whole state of West Virginia. I hate their players, I hate their fans, I hate their schemes, and I hate DickRod more than all of them. I hope it comes out this week that Noel Devine has robbed half the campus and is on 'roids. However, the realistic chance Pitt wins this game is about 10%. On a positive note, Shady McCoy was named a first team all freshman All American by Rivals and Scout. He was also named as one of the first team All BE running backs over Steve Slaton. He has 15 total TD's this season and 14 rushing which is the All time Pitt freshman record. Also congrats to Scott McKillop who still leads the nation in tackles per game. He should win this stat for the season because I expect him to make 20 plus tackles this week.

TILA UPDATE

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but my projected final three(compiled from odds) from this last entry are still all hangin around. My odds last time were as follows:
Amanda(10:1)
Dani(7:2)
Bobby(4:1)

Domenico took the bounce because his show value was up. Watching the other two guys cry was awesome when he got the boot. Brandi went crazy because thats what crazy chicks do, glad she didn't get let back in the house. Ryan probably got eliminated because he tried to rape Tila and his family was a bunch of stuck up NJ trash. His friends also used the word "bro" very nicely.

I think the in home visits didn't really change her opinion on any of the finalists. They all kept in their good standing with Ms. Tequila. My prediction for the final 2 might come to a shock to the fans of the Floss. I am saying Dani gets to steppin' this week. Why, you ask? She has been the favorite for the past few weeks, but I think Tila does not want a Rosie O'Donnel Home Depot dyke. I think she is looking for a lip stick lesbo. God Damn I'm excited for next week though.

The End.