THE COPA CABANA IN THE SKY

Myron Cope will dearly be missed by Steeler Nation. He hadn't broadcasted in a few years, but he was still a big part of the team. He wasn't going to live forever, but it would have been nice for him to get to see another Super Bowl. I hope Myron Cope is remembered for more than the Terrible Towel. It should be noted that Myron Cope has the rights to the Terrible Towel and could have been collecting money from it, but he doesn't. He donates ALL of his proceeds to the Allegheny School for Autistic Children. However, it most certainly will be his longest lasting legacy. I have talked since Myron retired about a statue in the front of Heinz Field of Myron Cope. Myron and a Terrible Towel will be a great statue in between the Pitt Panther and Art Rooney. From now on I hope that any time a good break happens for the Steelers, fans say that was Cope looking down on us. The Floss has a distinct Myron Cope story that he remembers. A youngin' on his grind, Floss was probably around 15, when he, COF, and YCOF headed down for a Steeler game. I remember it being in the new era of tailgating when the legendary "Stan the Man" had passed the torch to COF. When driving on North Shore Boulevard making the turn by Carnegie Sports Works, COF almost ended Myron's life right then. It was around 7 in the morning, Myron was crossing the street in his sweater vest and rolling a suitcase. COF did not yield to Lord Myron, rather nearly killed him. The funniest part about this was rather than apologize, everyone in the car just began waving their Terrible Towels and yelling his name. That is how the Floss will remember Lord Myron. RIP.

THE END OF A PITT-FALL

Since Myron was a writer for the PittNews and a Pitt graduate, the Pitt basketball team is the 2nd story in this week's update. Last night a 73-67 home win over Cincinatti ended the 3 game losing skid the Panthers were on. It was not a pretty win by any means, but the Floss will take anything at this point. I have finally found a few things I don't like about Coach Dixon. First, his use of timeouts is sketchy at points. Even though it was a home game, you can't leave yourself one timeout in a close game for the last 6 minutes. What if a player gets trapped and accidentally calls that timeout at the 3 minute mark? Your left with no timeouts in crunch time, a very unfavorable situation. Next, he doesn't reward solid play and punish lackluster play. He focuses too much on seniority. How does Gil Brown fill in so solidly for the last 2 months while Fields was down, and Jamie Dixon gives him a measly 10 minutes? How does Brad Wannamaker play his best basketball in his last two games prior to Fields return and you give him 3 minutes? This is all while Ronald Ramon is shooting 3-11 from 3 and giving up buckets and buckets to Deonta Vaughn. Tyrell Biggs is a different story. How does he continue to shoot three pointers? He is 1 for 8 on the season with his first make on the season last night. The scary part is, he will probably shoot more jumpers now. If you watch his highlight video from high school you would be as disappointed as I am right now. Pitt was also out rebounded by 12 last night. Unacceptable. Considering we play man to man, it is lack of boxing out. Also, Pitt shot 26 3 pointers. This just shows a lack of creativity and balance on offense. We weren't hittin threes all game, but kept shooting them because we couldn't beat a zone. Syracuse will pack the zone in and force us to hit shots Saturday. Will Ronald Ramon please step up?

ROL

Since many people don't like the ROL only updates, I'm sneaking it into this long update. The Floss has been calling for the old whores to go for weeks. After Bret skipped elimination last week, I predicted that the old hags would go together. A spot on prediction for the Floss. This week was a good episode minus Rodeo coming back. Rodeo sucked way worse than Payton and Catherine. Rodeo was so about her damn cowboy hat and her kids. You know what cunt, your kids should have been more important. Catherine's breakfast in bed last ditch effort was just a little too early for Bret. She didn't go through Big John for that visit to his room. Payton just sucks, good effin riddance. Jessica also got her chance to shine this week. She really had a great episode. She won the stupid rodeo challenge by getting the bandana off the pig. Then she moved to the paintball challenge. She did a great job in the paintball challenge by just competing in the challenge, not too mention she won it. Jessica also dropped the best line so far in the show.

"Bret, I feel safe with you"--Jessica

"Yeah, but is safe really a good thing"--Bret(thinking safe meant that she was a clingy bitch)

"Well, like your just going to grab me, take me to bed, and ravage me"--Jessica

Breat was too speechless to continue at that point, but she definitely helped her cause.

POWER RANKINGS: FINAL 7

7. Inna--The love-bus has run out of gas.

6. Megan--C-U-N-T

5. Daisy--Still looking hot, but hasn't made a move in a while. Look for a big episode this week.

4. Kristy Joe--She is really, really hot. She could never handle being in a relationship with Bret, a reason her winning would help out seasons 3 and beyond.

3. Jessica--Great week. She is still a bubble team, if we are using NCAA tourney lingo.

2. Destiney--Her being a bitch has moved her out of the top spot. She is still hot, but needs to donate some of that hair to locks of love.

1. Ambre--First time a girl other than Destiney got number 1. She has been coming to play and is the most sane. Also, no chance to stay with Bret. Really isn't season 3 the only goal at this point.

GIRLICIOUS

This show is so terrible. JC Chasez or whatever his name is came this week. This show is really going to get every washed up boy band or girl band star. Awful, Awful show. POWER RANKINGS:

11-5. Who remembers names.

3b. Natalie--whoever doesn't get kicked off for being a bitch, her or Nichole will be the sole number 3.

3a. Nichole--see above, less bitchy.

2. Jamie--Smoking hot, not a bitch, all you need.

1. Alexis--We are FR.

FLOSS CREEPIN

While watching an episode of the Office Tuesday, YCOF and I were admiring Jenna Fischer or Pam on 'The Office'. I just wanted her to get a pic in the Floss so I delivered.

Another thing I learned this weekend is that Morgantown is not a fun place. It is a place where you should carry a gun, because you never know if Chris Henry, Pac-Man, or B-Man will be in town packin' heat. It was a Floss roadtrip filled with Skoal. A great car-ride with his new 2nd favorite road-trippin buddies, G-JS(Good Jason S), DROF(Drunk roomate of Floss, only one to bring a roadie), TPH(The Polish Hammer), and the Floss.

To NO elevators this weekend.

PITT-ND Preview

Is tonight the night Pitt get's a big road win? Notre Lame has won 34 straight at the Bryce Center, but they still aren't that much better than Pitt. Pitt also couldn't beat the MOS Eagles in Murrysville(although COF can get a team to play some pressure D). Luke Harangody is averaging 20 and 10 and will be a finalist for BE POY, but Dejuan Blair is a solid defender who should prevent Harangody from getting him too low in the post. I like Blair to match Harangody point for point and outrebound him. If Blair can do this, Pitt will have a good shot. Sam Young on Rob Kurz is a mismatch on the offensive end for the Panthers. Sam Young is much quicker than Kurz and I expect Sam to dominate because it is what Sam Young does. Gil Brown vs. Ryan Ayers is a matchup that probably won't have a big impact on the outcome. Kyle Marijuana is a decent two guard who can't hit too many 3's. I see Pitt putting Ramon on him, and Ramon CAN'T give up too many open looks. McAlarney will dictate the momentum if he can get on a roll from deep. Tory Jackson has been playing really well lately for the Irish, but I think Keith Benjamin's defense should be able to contain him. Crazy thought here, but if Pitt isn't having offensive issues, why not give Wannamaker some defensive minutes? He is probably the best defender on the Pitt team. I would like to see him get some minutes off the bench for defense. The real X-Factor in all of this is Levance Fields. If Fields can start and/or give Pitt 25 minutes tonight at full strength, this is the turnaround game. Sometimes you get a feeling that it's gonna happen. Well it's gonna happen. Pitt in the upset, 74-70. Have a nice Lenten feast Friday, but Pitt will be the one feasting Thursday.

KB24, LBJ, CP3

NBA players have very simple nicknames, but I don't care I still like them. Honestly, start following the NBA. I'm going to beat this point home to every reader out there. Last night Kobe goes for 41 on only 25 shots from the floor in a road win at Phoenix. Chris Paul goes for 31 points, 11 assists, and 9 steals in a win against the new look Dallas Mavericks and Jason Kidd. Thats right, CP3 goes for 31 on JKidd. LeBron puts up his 2nd triple double in as many games, dropping 31, 14, and 12 in a big win for the Cavaliers.

LETS GO PITT

GAYball

This blog entry is going to be a straight TV episode blog, if you don't watch ROL and the new favorite of the Floss, "Girlicious", then just don't read. I would talk about the sports World, but Pitt hoops has me sick to my stomach(got the black sheep in Juan Dixon's family yesterday to commit though), baseball has now been re-named GAYball, and ESPN continually shows women's hoops on Big Monday. Actually I'm going to address the GAYball issue. First off, is our Congress that free that they can sit and talk about steroids all day everyday? Really aren't there issues in our country more important than a dying sport? Bud Selig effin sucks. He called a tie in an All-Star game for God Sakes. Can't Bud just handle this internally? ESPN is a huge factor in ruining GAYball. They give so much attention to the Clemens/Pettite fiasco. Honestly though, who in their right mind is going to believe Roger Clemens over Andy Pettite? I hope every GAYball player goes to jail. I'm done talking about it. However, the other night I had a dream I caught a foul ball at a Pirates game. I woke up pumped. I feel if I caught a foul ball at a Pirates game, I would probably have to give it back for evidence of a spit ball or something. GAYball would ruin my foul ball for sure.

As for Arlen "E-A-G-L-E-S" Specter and his quest for SpyGate? He rules. Honestly, at first I was angry at him for attacking the Patriots for this. Now, I have changed my opinion. If a Steeler fan/Congressman was out to prove that Neil O'Donnel really did throw SB XXX, I would be elated. Notice Steeler fan came before Congressman, whoever this future congressman may be, his slogan should def. be, "Steelers First". Honestly, what yinzer in the 'Burgh wouldn't vote for him? "You know, if he wants to blow up dat der casino for dem Rooneys and to build a bigger stadium, I say great idear?" This is a World I one day would love to live in.

GIRLICIOUS

I would like to give a major shoutout to YCOF a.k.a. DROF for his "relations" with Alexis from Girlicious. While it seems like only yesterday she was singing at bars on the Southside or nearly causing my grandpa heart attacks, now she is about to make it big time on TV. I would like to first point out that I've never wanted someone to win a reality show more than I want Alexis to win. She could put Franklin Regional on the map more than Aaron Lovelace ever did. When I was just a young buck Floss, I thought Aaron Lovelace was goin to the L, he really let me down. Sorry for the digression. This show is so badly produced and put together it is embarassing. However, if your looking for some 18-22 hotties at Monday on TV at 9 o clock, this show is for you. First, the show gives away who they are kicking off each week. They gave airtime to 6 girls last night, and they cut three of them. So the first episode Alexis gets some major attention on the show, the Floss is going to start worrying. Her best clip last night was probably when she was sitting on the floor and she turned around to stare at the one girls tattoo of cherries on her "who-ha", her word not mine. She also got some love from the head guy at Geffen records. I'm briefly going to run down how I felt about other girls from that show. They let on 2 of the fugliest girls of all time. I don't care if you can sing, looks are a part of it. Illisa and the poor girl who had a body builder mother and had a (cist burst?) are fugly. I'm sorry, they should be gone on looks alone. Natalie, WOW. Definitely some silicon in her 19 year old body. WOW. She seems like a huge C word and will probably get the boot soon because of it. Nichole, 18 years old of pure hottie. I really don't even remember anything about her other than she had an "h" before the "o" and after the "c". If I had to make Power Rankings right now, they would look like this:

12-4: Don't care
3. Nichole
2. Natalie
1. Alexis

The best part is, there are 3 winners on this show. It would rule if those were the final 3.

MUD BOWL II

For people that don't watch ROL, I will point out another thing you missed. A Mud Bowl, with 6 hotties and 2 old hags(Payton and Catherine). Bret also rocked a Steeler hat the whole time and is probably the Steelers biggest fan. He made his own rules and didn't eliminate a girl this week. I was angry at first because I thought he was giving Daisy the boot. If she had any resemblance of a face, she would have a huge lead, because her body is top dollar. Literally top dollar, she definitely has stripped before. I hope this stint by Bret to eliminate 2 girls next week is the move I have wanted him to make for a long time, a double elimination of the old hags. Really, when you could pick 4 girls left whose ages add up to these 2 old hags, why even keep them around? Catherine finally got to make out with Bret, so she is happy. He should have no problem giving her the boot now. Bret basically told Payton that he wasn't attracted to her and that he would rather watch a football game with her than bang her. This is the perfect move for next weeks show. When watching this weeks Floss, YCOF and PnR collectively had an idea for next season's ROL(when everyone should be on board). It is ROL: College Girls. That would be priceless if he brought on college girls for next year. Floss Power Rankings which certainly no one will agree with.

10000000000000000: Payton- I hate you. So ugly, probably the mother of Illisa.
8: Catherine- Cougar, but way too old. How many years could you possibly be hot for?
7: Kristy Joe- "Hey your a crazy bitch, but you **** so good I'm on top of it", the song in Bret's head every time he sees her. I hate how insane she is.
6: Megan- Reality whore. Definitely not going to win because she has been on 10+ shows. I don't care how hot she is, it ain't by that much.
5: Inna- He called her the Ukranian LoveBus this week. Hey, bus is better than tank right?
4: Jessica- She still hasn't done anything impressive on this show, other than be gorgeous and not psycho. I thought the fumble in the Mud Bowl II might cost her.
3: Daisy- The Lingerie Shop. Enough Said. Sidenote: Only Bret Michaels can follow a date where he made girls dance like strippers, by taking a one on one date to a lingerie shop. AYO.
2: Ambre- Probably my new wildcard. Something about her is hot. I don't know what it is. Her effort in the Mud Bowl II was world class. I don't think she really has a chance, but I'm rooting for her.
1: Destiney- She was almost taken out of the top spot this week, but I have been on her(figuratively, not literally) since the first show. She could be perceived as a bitch, but I think that mainly has to do with her hate for Krazy Joe.

I just did a lean back stretch to look at the TV, ESPN and Andy Pettite. I can't make this stuff up.

To the Death of GAYball

SUNDAY SUNDAY

For the first time in blog history, Floss did a live blog of something, well sort of. Last night, DDPL(Dirty Daigo Pussy Licker), PnR(author of thepicknroll.blogspot.com, and roomate of Floss), Jesus Stanecsworth(first appearance on the Floss, imagine gangsta Jesus, seriously Inglewood Paul Pierce Fitted withe a Jesus Beard and long Jesus hair, can't make that up), and myself(Floss) did our first live blog ever. After a weekend of firsts, mainly passing out on elevators and live blogs, the Floss is giving what I believe is my firsts Sunday update of the year. Sidenote: Also some not so firsts, a date party resulting in coming home alone and eating Szechuan on a Sunday(finally made my food decision).

Some follow up thoughts from last night:

1. As indicated, I really do HATE DWade.

2. Cheryl Miller really passes none of the tests for a female sideline reporter.

3. Becky Hammon is really hot, like I'm gonna give the fans a pic.

4. Dunks are cool and cake is even better, put them together and you have Gerald Green, what?

5. Dwight Howard is a monster. Or Superman.

6. Rudy Gay is a Gay, DWade level Gay.

7. Did I mention Becky Hammon is really hott?

Note: The live blog was typed by PnR. Enjoy.

NBA All Star Weekend Live Blog:The Lineup: Nate, Lamanna, The Floss, Terry, G-Mo, Barry, leftover Vlad, Ten High, Calico Jack (sadly, not nearly enough), a 6 pack of Natural Ice (bottles, we are classy), and the end of some mixer. Me, Lamanna, and The Floss are in for the long haul. Terry, G-Mo, and Barry are out to the bars soon.

Predictions: 3 Point Contest
Lamanna-Kapono
Me-Kapono
Floss-Kapono3 predictions for a repeat means that Kapono will probably come in last.

Skills Competition
Lamanna-CP3
Me-Deron Williams
Floss-Jason Kidd (aged like a fine wine or bottle of crow)
Floss really hates DWade…. Like as a human being, Floss hates Wade.

Dunk Contest
Lamanna-Dwight Howard
Me-Jamario Moon
Floss-Jamario Moon
I feel that Jamario is gonna Moon Walk to victory. The kid was a Globetrotter after all. Lamanna has a huge Dwight Howard boner.

Shooting Stars….. who cares??… not us.G-Mo wants to make it known that Dwight Howard is his pick. Terry wants to make it known that he is getting drunk. I’m the only one of the three mainstays who is drinking tonight. Lastly from G-M0, he votes Cheryl Miller for biggest dyke. We want boobs.

8:00- Show is starting with a montage of cleaning up New Orleans. I’m making another drink. That girl that just gave DWade a t-shirt wasn’t fine, but Terry thought she was. DWade might railroad her this weekend.
On a completely unrelated note, Barry (clearly under the influence) asked us if he looks like a frog. The general consensus is no.

Would you do the Heineken robot girl?
This is going to be a three hour DWade infomercial. G-Mo hates Wade as well.

8:08- Recap of the Rookie Challenge from last night….. we were all drunk.
Lamanna just informed me that Jamario Moon is nicknamed Apollo 33…. If that don’t rule nothing does.

8:10- Terry came out of the closet.
8:11- Terry stripped naked.

8:12- G-Mo makes 300th comment about dude beards, closet exiting pending.

8:16- The last few items are being disputed by Terry and G-Mo. Opening band is shockingly white and bad. Lil Wayne couldn’t open??….. this is the NBA, not the CYO. Floss says that the background dancers have far too many clothes. This doesn’t appeal to old white men or young black men. Apparently this is just a gig for David Stern’s nephew. G-Mo notes that there is tons of plumber’s crack in the apartment. Room erupts for BJ Armstrong. With a solid performance the Celtics may sign Armstrong. Floss wants to give Becky Hammon a Floss sandwich. Swin Cash (PA’s own) is also hurting for a squirting.

8:25- Gerald Green proves that the T’Wolves are still in the NBA. G-Mo, T, and Barry head out for the night. Whole room creams their pants over Gerald Green’s shoes from last year. This guy plays a mean saxophone. We all forget his name.

8:30- Floss longs for being a young athletic black man. Floss is indeed young, but he is closer to being black than athletic. Maybe you didn’t understand, that was just a knock on Floss’ athletic ability. In the “Shooting Stars”, me and the Floss are rooting for Chicago. Lamanna loves him some Suns. By the way, there has been over 3 hours of pregame for this shit.

8:42- This is the most people these WNBA girls have ever played in front of. Also, this is the last time we will watch any WNBA activity. Floss made it known that these 4 girls are the only 4 women in the world who are strong enough to get the ball from half court to the rim. Becky Hammon just happened, we are all in love. Bill Laimbeer is drunk, that was the worst half court attempt ever. His jersey could fit Big Black. We are taking a little break until something legit happens.

8:47- San Antonio wins the Shooting Stars competition. Becky Hammon is my valentine. More importantly (actually less importantly) I just took my first piss of the night. Stanec(aka Jesus Stanecisworth, due to his facial hair that resembles Jesus and his hat that reminds us of Paul Pierce, who reminds us of Ray Allen) is on his way over as a guest analyst. We would like to know what flavor gum Becky Hammon is chewing. Playstation Skills Challenge is up next. Stanec likes Paul in the Skills Competition and Moon in the Dunk Contest.

9:03- J Kidd’s son has a big head, and in typical J Kidd fashion he filled up the stat sheet by grabbing a rebound. Floss is so happy that DWade shit the bed. However, everyone was sad that he didn’t do a sick dunk after his time ran out. Jesus Stanecisworth wanted Earl Boykins in the competition.

9:13- Props to Deron Williams for winning the Playstation Skills Competition. If you recall he was my choice when this all started. Some random section won a Playstation 3, guess what….. I already have one.

9:22- Time for the white man to shine. Kapono, it is time to go to work!!!! The three point contest is about to start. I guess the contestants are Kapono, Dirk, Boobie Gibson, Nash, Peja, and Rip Hamilton. Nobody here expects Rip to do well, Floss actually expects him to shoot a few runners and mid range jumpers tonight. That arm sleeve is so gay. Rip’s foot was on the line. Floss was right!!!! Stanec just talked about Pistol Pete for awhile. We love us some Pistol Pete.

9:31- I guess we forget to ask Stanecisworth for his prediction. After a terrible job by Steve Nash he said, “I don’t want Nash”. Stanecisworth is going with Dirk.

9:37- Lamanna yells, “Mark Cuban, you bitch”. No reason given.

9:42- Kapono goes for 20. Lamanna lets it be known that Kapono’s hot spots in NBA Live are the corners. We think that Peja, Nash, and Dirk got mad drunk last night. FWIW, I have finished 6 beers and 2 mixed drinks.

9:49- Gibson goes for 17….. That is the only Boobie we will see all night. Now Dirk is up and he is probably still drunk. 14 ain’t gonna cut it Dirk.

9:52- Floss has a KaBoner…. We didn’t think Kapono would miss again, but he has. 25 from Kapono ties some record from 1986. Luckily for Kapono, he got to hug Chris Bosh. That is probably the first time they have talked all year. Jason Kopono is the 3 Point Shootout Champion. Mother of Floss is currently wasted. EDIT: Whole family of Floss is currently wasted.

10:00- Steve Nash introduces a lame guy named “Dr. John”. The biggest question we have is if Steve is wearing pants? Dr. John actually isn’t that bad, but I think Lamanna, Stanecisworth and Floss hate him.

10:03- Just realized that the only people who will read this are currently in the room. This is more typing than I did all of last year in college. Foot Locker sponsored the 3 Point Shootout, but we have always supported Finish Line.

10:10- I said that Moon has an advantage because he has all of Canada voting for him. Stanec disagreed and said that Canada is watching hockey.

10:13- Jamario is up first and he goes with a reverse self alley-oop. “You get two minutes?..... I’d use my whole two minutes, just go out there dancing and shit.”-Stanec10:14- Rudy did a weak job on his dunk and only got a 37. By the way, the dunk contest is so important that we are going to be updating as much as possible. Dwight Howard misses his first one but then gets all 10’s on his copy of Iggy’s behind the backboard dunk. Lamanna just fell in love. Hearing Charles Barkley say, “Birfday Cake,” makes us laugh. Floss can’t believe that 12 foot hoops are illegal, but Gerald Green’s fire on the court is ok. We were all confused at first, but upon seeing him actually blow out the candle we fell in love. Floss said, “I love cake and I love that dunk”.

10:23- Rudy Gay got a 48….. Me and Floss thought it was a 45, but Stanecisworth wanted a 50. Jamario Moon is going to dunk from Illinois. He just put a tape marker way behind the foul line. Kenny Smith said, “he is dunking from the Moon”. Floss said, “I can’t even make a jumper from there”. Kapono can’t throw alley-oops at all. Moon was well inside of the foul line, but I hope he makes it into the next round. He basically just caught a bounce alley-oop from Kapono and dunked from barely inside of the foul line.

10:31- Gerald Green has advanced after….. well shit… I’m too drunk to describe it, but he scored a 91 out of 100 on two dunks. Dwight Howard has just become Superman and the crowd went crazy. Kenny Smith honestly shit himself on live TV. The camera angle just shit the bed, but the crowd went crazy. Dwight Howard has to advance. He took off with two feet from, according to Stanec, “the imaginary 3/4ths line”. THIS IS WHERE AMAZING HAPPENS!!! Dwight Howard finished round one with a 100 out of 100. The final round will be him against Gerald Green.

10:37- This is college hoops….. CDR went for 32 and Memphis barely beat UAB tonight. I just celebrated with Lamanna because we love CDR and Memphis.

10:39- Everyone in the room is talking about voting. TNT just showed NBA players “getting ready to vote”. I think they were just messaging some whores. Stanec loves making fun of the TNT announce crew. Gerald Green caught a bounce alley-oop and went between the legs for a very good but not spectacular dunk. Lamanna said Dwight Howard is going to kill someone or everyone. He also loves the fact that Gerald Green has a Houston tattoo.

10:42- “That is not humanly impossible”, says Kenny Smith. He actually met that as a compliment. Howard does a dunk where he throws it off of the backboard and then hits it with his left hand off of the backboard and then dunks. Floss screams, “Why does Kenny Smith love him, he isn’t Tino F’n Sunseri”. Gerald Green’s last dunk is shoeless and between the legs… aka weak city.

10:45- Dwight Howard comes out with a mini-hoop. Who knows what is going to happen. He puts the real ball onto the mini hoop and tries to grab it and then do a windmill. He misses, but then tries again. The second one goes in. Kenny Smith has a huge boner. He is asking America to vote for Howard. Also interesting to note, Howard loves him some white redheaded girls. He used them in every dunk somehow. 10:48- The votes haven’t come in yet, but Howard has to win. This just in, Cheryl Miller is still a dyke and Dwight Howard loves Soulja Boy. Did Darryl Dawkins just speak English? We think not. Stanec claims that Dr. J looks a lot like Wolf Blitzer. All of the judges went with Dwight Howard, but Dr. J did give Green some props. Lamanna voted for Dwight Howard.

10:53- We are sitting here watching some beat commercials and the Floss is talking about how the All Star game should always be in Vegas. PnR loves the Vegas.

10:57- Dwight Howard got 78 percent of the vote. Stanecisworth thought that Cheryl Miller was playing games with his heart when she giggled before announcing the winner.10:59- This is PnR logging off…. I am drunk and we are all hungy. One of the best Dunk Contests ever!!!

This is Becky Hammon. The caption of the photo is, "Becky Hammon caught reading". I feel she could have a porn career if the caption was "Becky Hammon caught...".

ROL TONIGHT AT 9

THE SAD HONEST TRUTH

The Floss does not like to delve into college stories because I can do that anytime. The blog focuses on issues, well this college story is also a huge issue, so it must be done. When I woke up today I felt embarassed. Was I embarassed that I woke up in an elevator on the third floor of my apartment(almost pissed, but found all ID's and debit card)? No. Was I embarassed that I wore my dirty elevator pants to class today? No. Am I embarassed that I am not watching a tsunami video in class right now? No, because I had to take a shit and skipping class for your home field toilet is very, very legit. Do you want to know why the Floss is embarassed? Because he isn't ready for bar life. It has been talked about before, but last night was the official not ready for the bar evening. When YCOF(young cousin of Floss) asked for a blog today, I could not say no, especially since the shots of bourbon last night were on him. He probably expects a happy blog, but the Floss is not writing you in happiness. Dissapointment is spread all over the Floss' face, along with elevator juice. I realized this morning that the Floss is NOT ready for the bar life. I was just writing yesterday about being old and liking old man spobbys, but now I realized that I'm just a young buck. My bar etiquette was lacking exceptionally last night. Whenever a manager or someone I don't know comes around me, I turn into little Floss trying to hide chew from his mom. I push my drink away. I Stare at walls, quit talking, which never happens. I can't act normally in a bar. I turn into Bar Floss. I don't like Bar Floss. Other people may like Bar Floss and his buying of shots(8 at once last night was the record). Also buying one for the DJ from KISS FM, like he was Ben Fucking Rothelisberger or Tino Sunseri. Bar Floss is different than the Floss. The bar ruins me. I am officially retiring from Peters Pub until 21. Other bars are fine. I am not retiring from other bars seeing as I am going to a bar tomorrow night, however it is rented out, which keeps out the people that Bar Floss tries to impress. Many people will not be happy with this decision, but it is a decision that must be made. I do want to clear up that the night spent in the elevator is not the reason, but honestly how in the hell do you fall asleep in an elevator, on the floor no less? It is the person or lack of person that Bar Floss is. Many people have alter egos, but this alter ego is being retired. The Floss did confess his love to a barmaid last night. For her, Bar Floss might come back. For now, Bar Floss is hangin' up the bar shoes.

In drunken frat parties and partying illegally damnit

BOOTS WITH THE FUR

Global warming has taken a few weeks off much the the Floss' shagrin. My great great great grandkids will be happy with their extra few years on Earth. However, the University of Pittsburgh must have forgot what happens during the winter months. IT SNOWS. Rather than cancel or delay classes yesterday like every other local university or high school, they just let us go about our business. They also figured that it was okay for the maintenance staff to not shovel any snow until they saw fit. Way to go Nordenberg. You hate the athletic department, but the students shouldn't have gone to class on days like yesterday. Sidenote: The positive to the winter weather is Uggs. Uggs and lip rings. Ayo.

ESPN BOTTOM TICKER

I remember when ESPN didn't have a bottom line on their channels. The first day it came out was the best day for all sports fans. It was the next best thing to the TV guide channel. However, now the TV guide channel has hit the end of its reign, the ESPN bottom line has just hit rock bottom. Yesterday on ESPN, there were two headlines, one titled "CLEMENS" and the other titled "HEARING". Since they are directly related they probably could have been coupled into one news headline, but ESPN wanted two. The bottom line is supposed to keep you up to date on scores. However, ESPN has crammed way too many things onto the bottom line now that it is becoming a joke. I propose to ESPN that we cut out all the fat, mainly tennis, womens athletics in general, small news headlines, soccer, and nascar. The bottom line should mainly focus on these headlines: NEWS(only important stuff, stuff that makes national headlines), NBA, CBB, CFB, NFL, NHL, MLB(no roids talk), and even NASCAR(only once or twice a week). They should also take out all of the stats unless they are very important. They need to take out all of the box score info that isn't a milestone or a big night for a player(ex. 20 and 20 games, triple doubles, in baseball you can give the winning and losing pitcher). Real fans will look these things up on the internet or in the paper(who actually looks at box scores in the paper though) I just think ESPN should get with the Floss on this.

SAM YOUNG

Great game last night by Mr. Young. 10 of 14 from the floor, 22 points, 7 rebounds, and 4 assists. All the Floss wants to say is that Sam, if you are reading this, DO NOT LEAVE EARLY. I REPEAT, DO NOT LEAVE EARLY. ASK CHRIS TAFT HOW THAT WORKED OUT FOR HIM? Sam Young is now being projected as an early 2nd round pick, late 1st round guy, but he could do a ton of stuff for this team next year. Final 4 stuff.

3 MONTHS AND COUNTING

The Floss is not talking about baseball season, the NCAA championships, the NFL draft, nah none of that. I'm talking about one of the few physical(albeit not very) activities left that I still participate in. Fishing. Fishing is a new hobby for the Floss. Forced into the hobby by COF, he completely changed his view on the sport. Sidenote: I have referred to fishing as a hobby and a sport so far. I don't know what I consider it, so I'm going with it as a spobby(other ex. bowling, hunting). Since the Floss' athletic career peaked, well never peaked, but ended many many moons ago, it is tough to find sports that are still possible with his growing age(almost out of the teens). Fishing is a great summer spobby. It isn't the best because the Floss would take golf any day of the week, but golf is much more expensive. Both have very redeeming qualities that are needed in any spobby. 4 Necessities for any Spobby:

1. Drinkability- Can you booze while playing without affecting performance? And is drinking not a problem? Does it get in the way? Fishing and Golf are perfect here.

2. Longevity- Can you play this into your later years? Can you teach your kids? Again, shabooya.

3. Friendability- Does it involve friends easily? Answer for both is yes, although both have money constraints that can keep people away, although fishing is relativity cheap compared to other sports, hobbies, and spobbys(never liked ie's).

4. Chewability- Also involves other forms of nicotine like cigars. Fishing and golf are two of the best chews in the World behind roadtrips and any chew with FOF. I couldn't imagine golfing and chewing with FOF.

April 14th is the opening day of trout season. I missed opening day last year. It is the first time in my life that I have 2 opening day's in April, and I could give a shit about the Pirates(Doug Mientkielvich, don't even care how bad I spelled that, nice job Succos). Since COF is guaranteeing a drinking extravaganza, the Floss is pumped for fishing season. Not too mention that summer is most definitely Spobby Season.

THE FLOSS' VALENTINE

When picking a Valentine for this year's day, I went straight to the best source, TBS break room. The final choice was ultimately easy. The hottest mommy out there is on from 3-4 on weekdays on TBS. Kim Warner from Yes Dear. She is the Floss' Valentine this year. Talk about a cougar, eh. It was a tough decision between her and sexy Carrie Heffernen. Since the King of Queens I'm currently watching has Carrie pregnant, she was definitely a no-go. Coming up in a close third, Tino Sunseri.

In Spobbys and PETER'S tonight for the Pens

OOZING MACHISMO

Ronald Ramon, after getting called out again by the Floss, hits the eff you 3 to the Floss. I don't hold grudges though, and I love jumping on and off player bandwagons. I'm right back on the Razor bandwagon. Honestly this basketball game really didn't mean much in the grand scheme of things, but how fun is watching Pitt ruin a whole state? The whole state sucks.



NBA



The Floss has been hyping the NBA recently, but I found a great NBA blog for yins to read. http://thepicknroll.blogspot.com/. I didn't have to look far for this blog, just down the hall on the right. While this site lacks sweet nicknames, it is still pretty damn hilarious. They post a lot of drunk NBA ramblings. If the Floss posted drunk, he might end up in jail. If this ever happens, hopefully it will be a rant on some girl or the fact that all girls are C-words, and thats all that matters. Note: This could really happen sometime. If it does, FOF and COF should promptly kick me swiftly in the nuts.

NBA All Star weekend this weekend. The best all star game in sports. The dunk competition, the Floss is predicting a win for Jamario Moon. I feel if a guy this insignificant is invited, he can probably throw em down. 3 point competition, Floss is taking Kobe. Why he wants to participate I don't know, but I'm guessing he wants to win if he is doing it. All Star Game, I'm takin the West. The two biggest and bestest ball hogs on the West, Kobe and AI. Love both of them, but MVP is going to be AI. AI always goes hard and might put up 35+.

ROL UPDATE

Another great episode last night. My favorite part was that elimination only eliminated one girl and we are down to 9. This means that ROL fans will get 8 more episodes in this season. The elimination ceremony couldn't have been any funnier. Kristy Joe immediately becomes a darkhorse for the final 4. If she can keep all that craziness inside for a few more weeks, she can certainly stick around. Without makeup though, Kristy Joe, Woof. I sometimes wonder what rules Bret has to play by during the show because if the producers let him do what he wanted, this show would have to be pay per view. I figured out one rule last night, no sex for Bret until they are at 10. Realistically, Bret could lay the pipe every night with a different girl or the same girl no matter what. It was great that he got drunk and decided that Daisy was going to be the first lay. Bret made a good pick here because Daisy is reserved and wouldn't go on a killing spree if she got eliminated the next day. She would probably just come off the show and say, "you know what, I got to bang Bret Michaels". Bret has to factor this all in. If he did the same to Kristy Joe, Big John is going to have to take a bullet for him, and no one would be pleased if Big John was gone. Sidenote: Big John looks a lot like Big Ben. When Ben's playing days are up, could we maybe just get a true life documentary or something with Bret, Big John, and Big Ben. Some TV network could do this. With Daisy's banging of Bret, she probably put herself in the final 5. I'm just waiting for Bret to get the old hags off the show. Honestly, the producers effed up BIG time allowing Payton on the show. She is old, ugly, and probably has been a lesbian for more than 3 years straight. Catherine on the other hand, she is a cougar. She is too nice for someone like Bret. Personally I hope Catherine attracts a rich older man from her appearance on this show. Since the Floss loves lists, here is a quick power rankings for the 9 left:

1. Destiney: Day 1 fav. Floss sticks by his bitches.
2. Ambre: A shocking pick here. I can't give you one reason I like her as much as I do.
3. Jessica: As soon as she gets her first 5 minutes of airtime, we will all know if she is psycho or a winner.
4. Megan: Who knows if she is a reality show queen? Her attentions aren't pure, but she is still the hottest.
5. Daisy: Way too much botox in her upper lip. Sexy, check, whore, check. Enough for me.
6. Inna: How bad must the bottom 3 be if a woman described as a Ukranian Lovetank and a Meatball is ahead of them?
7. Catherine: Just cause she is a nice lady. She is too old. At least Bret wouldn't have to deal with menopause.
8. Kristy Joe: People use the expression a screw loose often. She doesn't have a screw tight in her dome. She is probably the 2nd hottest one left next to Megan. However, there is something to be said for her antics last night, and the fact that she is legally married.
NR. Payton: She doesn't even get ranked 9th. I don't like butch lesbians, does that make me a communist? No. I hate her. Payton finishes unranked.

FIGHTING RYAN MALONE'S

Ryan Malone, Geno Malkin, and Petr Sykora. All are playing out of their minds currently. With Crosby out, the Pens have moved to the top of the Atlantic and are 3 points out of the no. 1 seed in the East. I am a little worried that they might be getting hot too early like last year. I hope the Pens get to play the Capitals in the playoffs as well. Alexander Ovechkin and his bullshit public name change. A person who needs to do this is Bradley Wannamaker from Pitt. How does Jamie Dixon continually call him Bradley? This chaps my ass. Another example, is Yi Jianlian. How is he on NBA draft boards and talked about on Sportscenter as Yi. Then the draft comes around and his English interpreter decides that his name is E. Just stupid.

Don't call it a comeback.

I AINT SAYIN NOTHIN' IMA BLOG

I am surprised that blogspot has allowed the Floss to log-in. An absolutely abysmal performance over the last week and a half has the fans grumbling. So much has happened between Jan. 27th and Feb 7th, I wish I could go into detail for everything, but I'm only one man. Not to make excuses, but three tests this week were killer. The Floss is sick of reading about earthquakes, the rock cycle, job cost accounting, vladimir propp, spinning tales, and income statements. I am going to enjoy today's update more than any reader(all 5 of you).

SANTANA TRADE

While the Floss follows baseball, he just hates the fact that no more than 10 teams are relevant each year. At least in football a bad team can ruin playoff hopes for a team. In baseball, too many games, not one game really means all that much. The apathy around the game right now is unprecedented(more on this later). The Santana trade just showed all that is wrong with baseball. The Twins, one of the teams who does well with no money, have to give up their boy, their Crosby, their Roethlisberger. It happens all the time. What do they get back? Nothing. Prospects. Small market baseball teams are the farm system for the big boys. Since I began hating baseball, I picked a new favorite relevant team. The Yankees. Many say they are responsible for all that is wrong with baseball. Baseball is really what is wrong with baseball. This sport is going down the shitter quick.

1-1 PITT

While the Floss has been struggling, so has the Pitt basketball team. They beat an awful Villanova team last Wednesday, which the Floss got to watch from a barstool, with a beer, then another, then another. Pitt basketball games give the Floss legal entry and boozing right in Peter's. The Floss' bar etiquette is terrible. When I am in there I feel like there is a big bullseye on my back. I should wear an underage sign around my neck. I really need to work on this. No analysis for that game, but the Saturday loss to Uconn I will weigh in on. The Pitt team played hard like you would expect a Jamie Dixon team to play, but they can't shoot for shit. They outrebounded a much bigger Uconn team. Ronald Ramon will get to 1000 points for his career this season, but that will be his only legacy if he doesn't start to step up. He is really playing like garbage at the point spot. If Benjamin had any dribbling ability, he would be running the point. Benjamin has really came back to life lately, but I expect that from a guy who hasn't played big minutes in his career much. Gil Brown, who needs a nickname really bad, so the Floss is going to give him the nickname GBreezy. The Floss LOVES GBreezy, absolutely LOVES him. He is going to the L eventually. Prediction: GBreezy will average 12 plus in the BE tourney and NCAA tourney this year. Sam Young is playing really well, but he is forced to take too many shots because no one else can muster their own shot. He will determine how far this team will go(Elite 8). Blair still hasn't came down to reality. He is still playing out of his mind. Big Game tonight vs. the Mountaineers. Prediction: 13-9. A Big Eff You to Bob Huggins.

NBA NBA NBA

If you were reading that like a chant like you should, you would realize that it is going along with the USA chant. Two huge trades in the last week have really built the hype for the 2nd half of the season. Pau to the Lakers for virutally nothing was huge for the Lakers(more on this in a sec). The Shaq Diesel trade was a questionable trade for the Suns at best. I think we might just be seeing some excellent GM'ing here. Everyone and their mother thinks the Heat got the better deal. The Floss agrees with everyone. You know whats wrong about agreeing with the public, the public is usually wrong. This trade will probably work out for the Suns or Steve Kerr is a moron. Onto the LakeShow. Honestly, what better way for the NBA to make a comeback than with the C's and LakeShow. The white blakc thing is thrown out the window unless you count Brian Scalabrine for the C's. The Lakers are a much deeper team with players off the bench like Farmar, Vucacic, Vladdy, Luke Walton, Turiaf(when Bynum comes back), and Ariza. That is a GREAT bench. The C's are older and only really have three solid bench contributors in James Posey, Eddie House, and Tony Allen. Kobe wants to prove he can win a title without Shaq. If he gets to go through Shaq for this title that would be awesome. The Spurs should be kicked out of the playoffs because they could ruin the AWESOMENESS that the NBA is setting up for. Also how bad do you think Garnett wants to win a title, especially in his new favorite city. This is going to be an AWESOME season.

CLEMENS

The Clemens nonsense is probably true. Baseball should just quit. It is so EFFED. Nothing about baseball is pure anymore. This sport is so screwed. Although nothing will come about from the Clemens saga because this Brain McNamee guy has shit from way too long ago. They better bring in Horatio Kane from CSI Miami to figure it out. Nothing can save baseball. Good riddance. April is now the NFL Draft. Eff Baseball.

HAAAAAACKEY

Crosby's absence is making the other Pens so much better. Geno is stepping up to be a leader. Malone is playing better. Sykora and Staal are better. Conklin is awesome. Managing Conklin and Fleury when he is healthy is really Michael Thierren's only challenge. Prediction: Eastern Conference Champs for the Pens. Also 4-1 at home over the Isles tonight.

SUPER ELI

Never really liked Eli Manning. He may be a Gay. I have no reason to believe this, other than he is a Manning. He did do something that was awesome on SuperBowl Sunday. Beating the Patriots was huge for football and Mercury Morris. Honestly could anyone be more annoying than Mercury Morris? The game was the best SuperBowl in my lifetime that wasn't won by the Steelers. Plus, way to get a ring Plaxico. Plax is the man, glad he got his ring.

QUIT PLAYING GAMES WITH MY HEART

I will not be talking about the Backstreet Boys or BSB as they are known to me, but I will be talking about the current hearthrob in the World, Terrelle Pryor. Unlike most hearthrob's, he isn't a target of teenage ladies, he is the hearthrob of males from the ages of 18-65. I have officially realized my hate for Terrelle Pryor. I finally think he is crazy. I don't think he will succeed in college because he can't think for himself. He has let way too many people get into his head throughout this entire process. He should have committed to OSU a longtime ago. It is where he has wanted to go. Him and the BrewCrew are tight, not too mention it isn't a bad idea to go to a school with the best O-Line in the country. I hope he is just stringing PSU along right now, but I think he might actually go there. They fit all of his characteristics except that Jay Paterno is in charge of him. The Floss hates PSU, but I respect the tradition, fans, all that hoopla. Pryor could go and win a lot of games there, but I don't think PSU could win a national title with him like OSU can. OSU has a lot more pieces for a Natty C than PSU. I don't think he would be smart to go to PSU, but I honestly don't care if he does. I hate the Big11 enough to hope that they lose every BCS game they ever play in. It isn't out of the realm considering how poorly they fare currently. Let's just hope Pryor gets this over with soon. Sidenote: I like how all of the recruting services and national guys are talking about how his dad wants him to go to PSU. Bullshit. His dad wants him at Pitt, but Pryor wants the big stage. Two years from now a Pryor vs. Pitt matchup in a BCS game would be the absolute best thing I would see in my college lifetime.

SPEAKING OF RECRUITING HEADCASES

Two of the craziest recruiting stories really haven't gotten the attention they deserved lately. First is Devoe Torrence, a top 100 RB who was planning on attending Ohio State. This story was crazy and not very good for Devoe. It involves a sex scandal with 14 boys and 4 girls ranging from 11 to 14 in age. The story hasn't fully developed. When all is said and done, I think he will rid the charges and sign with a school willing to take on his burden. http://search.clevescene.com/2008-01-30/news/waiting-for-the-ax/. The real reason I'm including this story is because of the quote of the week, which might be the last ever quote due to it's hillariousness.
"As far as I'm concerned, there wasn't no rape involved," says Larry Rashid, a bartender at The Alibi. "Those girls are a couple of little wildcats. You tell me what you would do if you were 16, and a 12-year-old whore like that was throwing herself at you . . .
"The girls need to be scolded. The boys, they just need a stern lecture."

WOW.

The next might be the funniest story of the recruting season. Kevin Hart from Fernley High School in Nevada should be nominated for an Oscar. He was able to fake out all of his family, friends, and coaches for so long. He wasn't smart enough to fake out Jeff Tedford though. He was the lineman who committed to Cal without an offer or contact with the school. This was a wild story. It is interesting that he made it all up, but honestly what an idiot. His lie was great for a long time, but he had to know it was going to end. We all know people who are avid stretchers of the truth, but he might be the biggest liar ever. This kid is a hoot. I hope he gets a late offer from some joke college. Great job Kevin.

WANNY

Couldn't end without talking about Wanny and his class. This was his lowest rated class by the scouting services, but it might be the best ever. Jonathan Baldwin is the first ever 5 star player Pitt has ever got on Rivals. This is a nasty class. I love this class because of the Pittsburgh vibe. Anyone that says we are focusing too much on Pittsburgh is wrong. Pittsburgh kids playing for Pitt is what should happen.

I'm tired, look for a better effort next time.