The Floss does not like to delve into college stories because I can do that anytime. The blog focuses on issues, well this college story is also a huge issue, so it must be done. When I woke up today I felt embarassed. Was I embarassed that I woke up in an elevator on the third floor of my apartment(almost pissed, but found all ID's and debit card)? No. Was I embarassed that I wore my dirty elevator pants to class today? No. Am I embarassed that I am not watching a tsunami video in class right now? No, because I had to take a shit and skipping class for your home field toilet is very, very legit. Do you want to know why the Floss is embarassed? Because he isn't ready for bar life. It has been talked about before, but last night was the official not ready for the bar evening. When YCOF(young cousin of Floss) asked for a blog today, I could not say no, especially since the shots of bourbon last night were on him. He probably expects a happy blog, but the Floss is not writing you in happiness. Dissapointment is spread all over the Floss' face, along with elevator juice. I realized this morning that the Floss is NOT ready for the bar life. I was just writing yesterday about being old and liking old man spobbys, but now I realized that I'm just a young buck. My bar etiquette was lacking exceptionally last night. Whenever a manager or someone I don't know comes around me, I turn into little Floss trying to hide chew from his mom. I push my drink away. I Stare at walls, quit talking, which never happens. I can't act normally in a bar. I turn into Bar Floss. I don't like Bar Floss. Other people may like Bar Floss and his buying of shots(8 at once last night was the record). Also buying one for the DJ from KISS FM, like he was Ben Fucking Rothelisberger or Tino Sunseri. Bar Floss is different than the Floss. The bar ruins me. I am officially retiring from Peters Pub until 21. Other bars are fine. I am not retiring from other bars seeing as I am going to a bar tomorrow night, however it is rented out, which keeps out the people that Bar Floss tries to impress. Many people will not be happy with this decision, but it is a decision that must be made. I do want to clear up that the night spent in the elevator is not the reason, but honestly how in the hell do you fall asleep in an elevator, on the floor no less? It is the person or lack of person that Bar Floss is. Many people have alter egos, but this alter ego is being retired. The Floss did confess his love to a barmaid last night. For her, Bar Floss might come back. For now, Bar Floss is hangin' up the bar shoes.
In drunken frat parties and partying illegally damnit
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6 comments:
I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
COF
You would push your drink away and stare at the walls. You and your elevators. Remember the time you pissed on the elevator last year and this year? You're a champ and dont let Bar Floss hold you down.
DDP(L)
aka Dirty Deigo Pussy (Licker)
the only thing bar floss needs to work on is the whole confessing his love to every attractive woman thing. i cleaned my shoes before getting on the elevator today, so i wouldn't get your bed dirty
You know, i really feel for bar floss at least you man up and actually go to bars, the question is will we see Bball floss on sunday at 12
-the dark Kobe (TDK for short)
Oh boy.... that was amazing
B MAN
Bar Floss Retiring? This may be like all the times the Floss was going to retire from drinking and become a better college student. And as we all know, that's not happening. Keep Bar Floss alive. Don't hold him back, and you owe me $1 for the load of laundry I had to do after I pissed my pants reading this blog.
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