STRAIGHT SPORTS

Rollercoaster. That is the best term for the Pitt Panthers season. They win tough games and lose easy ones. How does a team go on the road and win three straight, then come back home on Homecoming no less and lose to a team with one team over an FBS opponent? I don't even know. I was nervous all week for a Pitt let down game last week. They delivered.

I wrote that last Friday when I thought I would get back to a pre-ND blog. Oops. I stopped writing it, but honestly, rollercoaster. This team loves to do stuff like this. Quit Playing Games With My Heart is the Pitt theme song during this Wanny era. I just can't even describe the emotion I felt after the 4 OT thrilling win at Fat Charlie's house. I know ND isn't exactly a top 25 team, but a great road win none the less. Some thoughts:

-Pat Bostick won't be confused for Danny Ma any time soon, but he also didn't look like last year Pat Bostick. I went to the Notre Dame website and re-watched the 3rd and 4th quarters. He made some very solid throws. Most came on 3rd down with our backs against the wall. He looked more mobile in the pocket and his footwork was much improved. I think Pat may still have a bright future with this team. Great job by the backup quarterback.

-Shady. Wow. Please come back. Honestly back to the Backstreet Boys hit, how can Pitt's two best players in the last 25 years only be forced to play here for 2 years. Just unbelievable. I think he still has a more than 60% chance to come back to this fine institution.

-Jon Baldwin. I like him a lot. He struggled a bit, but made the big catch. I can't even begin to dream of where his ceiling is at.

-The O-Line. I love them. Only one sack that I remember given up by Joey T, but he still is much improved this year. I love John Malecki. Kid is a warrior. How about CJ Davis stepping into his role at center? Dom Williams came to play in his first start in 3 years.

-Scott McKillop. He better be at worst a 3rd round pick. He probably won't run a 4.4, but he makes so many tackles.

-Andrew Taglianetti. His dad probably hates that he doesn't play hockey, but he is one hell of a football player. It's crazy that he wasn't supposed to be here until January. Then Shane Brooks got booted and Tags stepped in. I hate to be cliche and say he is just a football player, but that's what he is. He is a menace on special teams. 2 blocked punts this year. He is in on a ton of special teams tackles, plus his one tackle on the screen pass this week was awesome. I love him.

-Looking ahead to the L. Pitt is only a 6.5 favorite against a team that just lost to Syracuse and is battling injuries. This is another typical Pitt letdown game. They can throw the rock so naturally the Floss is nervous. Please, just once can Pitt get a blowout. Honestly, the Floss is frightened by a shitty shitty team. Just like RU.

STEEL CURTAIN

For some reason I really see a rebound game for the men in black and gold tonight. Maybe it's because we get back 2 huge playmakers in Santonio and Willie. Maybe it's because the Steelers love playing on Monday night. The Skins only have 10 sacks through 8 games, so the Steelers should be able to protect Big Ben. When he has time we don't lose. Plus the strength of the Skins is Clinton Portis. When has a running back actually beat the Steelers, minus like Fred Taylor in 2001? The most one running back has had against the players this season was LeRon McClain with 63. Plus James Harrison and Woodley were shutout last week. They will not go quietly tonight. Expect a big game from the Steelers tonight.

Flossy Prediction:

STEELERS 24
SKINS 13

STEPPING BACK FROM THE LEDGE

The Floss cannot speak about what happened at Heinz Field this weekend. The Bay of Pigs went more smoothly than what happened on the North Shore this weekend. Not too mention, today in class I listened to Phillies fans talk about popping champagne and rioting in Oakland when the Phils win. Personally, I hope cops arrest everyone of them, well actually I hope Hamels breaks his leg then Ryan Howard cracks his head open running for a fly ball. Then the Rays win in 7 and all of those awful Phillies fans suffer minus that 10%. Notice that J-Rol and Utley didn't get hurt, that's cause they are cool. Now onto a fun blog...

FIT OR QUIT?

Well this blog was thought of by former DROF while he was not low. It was also based on a comment made about the Floss being able to fit into a fridge. Normal fridge, not one of those skinny tall guys. We talkin' bout a fat, short fridge. The Floss can clearly fit into something that size.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DESK

I think the Floss could sit, but couldn't get out without injury. Like a hip pointer would probably be a common injury here. Maybe scraped knee after hitting the floor. I hate those desks that clearly make the fat kids feel fat. America is getting bigger people, effin deal with it.

UNDER A BED

You have to use your imagination here for the size of a bed, but imagine a normal size one that you could easily fit under at age 11. Since the Floss has gotten larger since age 11, I don't know about this one either. I'm sayin I could still do it. The Floss could probably still get out unscathed too. It would take some time and wouldn't be fun, but you gotta believe.

ROCKET SHIP

Most of you probably thought the Floss was referring to a ride at Kennywood or something, but no, I mean a real space ship. The Floss doesn't feel like he could do well in space. The inside of a rocket ship would be too close. Then the Floss would hit his head off all the little panels and things. I know, I know that you wear space helmets, but I would probably break mine. Then a bunch of space chemicals would get into my head and I would die. No question about it, the Floss wouldn't go to space. So I can't slice a 6 iron off the face of the moon. Plus you gotta worry about Lance Bass gettin all homo up there. I heard that space juice is what made him gay. I'm serious. Don't go to space.

Remember to give your thoughts on how the Floss would fare in all of these places. Give your thoughts on space and what not. Tomorrow will be the aftermath blog. Not the Steelers because they rebound. We don't know what will happen with the Pitt Panthers, well everyone except the Floss.

ALL OVER THE PLACE

TOM BRADY HAS A SETBACK

Just heard on ESPN that bad things are happening with Tom Brady's knee. The Floss man crushes hard on Tommy B, so he feels for the man. With Peyton fading, Brady down, is Ben now the IT QB in the AFC? O yeah ladies and gents, Ben Flosslisberger is the best QB in the AFC now.

PRESIDENTIAL THOUGHTS AGAIN

I thought about what could honestly bring more people out to the polls...including some major sports topics. Seriously...I would love to vote for a candidate who promises Pete Rose, Mark McGwire, and Barry Bonds get to go to the baseball hall of Fame. One candidate could talk about putting a playoff in college football or at least a plus one system. They could stop sports for one night and have a presidential sports debate. This could work. I'm 100% convinced.

THAT'S A BAD RUM AND COKE

I hope everyone saw Larry Johnson spit a drink in a woman's face 3 times in a row. Good person he is. This is about 4 months after he hit a woman in the face. I hate public apologies from guys like this. You can't eff up like 6 times, hold a presser and be clean. We are...convicts. People need to remember Santonio Holmes when he got a public drunkenness right before his rookie season. He talked to Rooney and has been a great teammate and person since. He is also the best WR on the Steelers. Believe dat.

WV-AUB

I don't know who to root for in this game tonight. It will eventually be who the Floss bets on, but really no money involved, I would have to go WVU. The Big East has looked bad all year. USF over Kansas and Pitt over Iowa are decent wins for the conference, but no one else has won a thing. Auburn has Pitt's former D-Coordinator Paul Rhoades. He was a solid DC and I hope he becomes a head coach soon.

ARIZONA

Lute Olsen is stepping down at Arizona due to health reasons. Anyone else worried? I am very worried about Coach Dixon going to Arizona. I hope they stick with retired porn star Kevin O'Neill, but I doubt it since I could have coached that team to the Sweet 16 last year. Arizona will most certainly come calling to Coach Dixon. They will be throwin money his way. I pray he doesn't take the bait. They were just in a mini recruiting scandal plus their team is just getting worse. Jamie could be taking over a tainted program. On the flip side, he can stay here and get the court at the Pete named after him. What should he choose?

GUINOS

The Pens got a huge shootout win Monday with Sid the Kid battling flu symptoms plus they had Dany Sabourin in net. Although Sabu played unreal. He was really standin on his head out there. Tonight is a nice matchup with a pretty average team in Carolina. Pens must win since they have a tough road game with the red hot Rangers Saturday, then move to a 3 game Western Conference road trip. The biggest plus so far this season has been the play of Miroslav Satan. He is much better around the net than I ever thought he would be. Tonight will be a 4-2 win Pens. Satan nets another. Go Pens.

PEOPLE I HATE IN COLLEGE

This blog is prompted by the Floss being a college student. Everyday the Floss sees groups of people that he accurately stereotypes. In this blog the Floss will give the reasons he hates these groups of people.

FAKE HIPPIES, HIPPIES, ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH THEM

You all know these people, the ones who wear tie-dyed shirts for no reason. Some have dreadlocks, girls too. You look like a piece of shit. Honestly, if I was their parents I would be on suicide watch. They wear their Bob Marley t-shirts and listen to old 70's music and use words like "vintage". The girls don't care if they look ugly. Just a bad bad group of people.

HAND RAISERS

These are the slack jawwed faggots who raise their hand in classes to ask questions they know the answer to. The professor starts explaining the answer, and the hand raiser says, "O that's what I thought". These hand raisers are also really really eager to tell personal tales in class. I don't care what you learned in your high school English class. The hand raiser group is comprised mostly of dudes. They probably don't even watch sports.

4-SQUARE OR ANY OTHER CLUB THAT WAS LAST COOL IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

This group was prompted by the Floss having to walk through a common area of sorts where this group was blasting loud music and playing a game that was created in 4th grade. One of the kickballs actually rolled in the Floss' path. I picked it up and threw it back, but don't think I didn't want to Daniel Sepulveda that thing over the Cathedral. Other clubs that fall in this category: Magic Cards, Anime, etc.

GIRLS IN SWEATPANTS WITH UGG BOOTS

Just kidding. The best cold weather look for girls in the World. Even a not so hot chick with a decent butt can pull this look off. It's really a trend that should stick around for generations. You have to pray they wear a Northface coat with this look or you can't get a full view of the bum, and that's just not going to cut it.

THE PARANOID

These are the POS's that think they did bad on every test when they get an A every time. They call you up to check answers on homework worth .000005% of your grade. However, these kind of people aren't actually all that awful.

PHILLY FANS(only 90%)

You know who you are. The kids that come to the University of Pittsburgh and proceed to talk shit on our city. The start their E-A-G-L-E-S chants for no reason. They look like pricks. Not too mention that 75% of the wigger population at Pitt is from Philly(look it up). Go to Temple you angry, awful humans.

There are way way way more types of people to stereotype and hate. The Floss could really only think of this many for now. Greek's on TV and some bloggers have priorities. As always comments about who you love to hate and stereotype is welcomed with open arms.

ELECTION '08

I don't know who made the comment in the last comment section about who the Floss supports in the upcoming presidential election, but it was a very good question. However, this person clearly did not read the New Years Resolutions blog posted to start the new year. The Floss said he was going to try and not discuss the election once throughout the year. The Floss has kept up his promise until now because for the people the Floss will do it. Also, breaking promises is something the Floss loves doing.

WHO?

The Floss supports no one. Honestly, voting is something I might do just because this is the first presidential election of which I'm legal age. The Floss doesn't focus on the issues. When there's Pitt football and politics, there's really only Pitt football.

RANT

Really why should we all care so much about the election. Does the president really have much of a say in your everyday life? Most of us have to say no. Both presidents will believe in taxes. They are virtually the same person. Plus Congress makes all decisions anyways. People that get wrapped up in stuff like the election are MAC people. This was discussed yesterday amongst the readers of the Floss. MAC people are essentially hippies. They "go green". They eat organic foods. They eat Indian food. The MAC people all support Obama(this should give you a clue who the Floss semi-supports).

SARAH PALIN

Well when the Floss heard John McCain picked a woman running mate, he knew there had to be a reason. His reason, she's hot. I'm glad he decided not to focus on picking a qualified candidate, but picking great tits instead. Seriously, coolest election fact, t-minus 9 months til Sarah Palin is a GILF(granny I'd like to Floss). Honestly, the Floss couldn't pick Joe Biden out of a lineup, but he had to be more qualified than Palin. Palin was the governor of Alaska. Alaska and Hawaii are the fakest things ever. The US president(don't even know him) who added those 2 as States just decided that the flag looked dumb at 48 stars. I'm with him. Alaska is not real. It is just a piece of Canada. Hawaii hasn't given the US anything except Samoan football players. It also gave Colt Brennan a lot of weed.

THE CAROLINER

The Floss is unleashing his creative side in this blog. Today I sat at a 2 hour presentation on the new International Financial Reporting Standards. Yawn I know. I came up with 5 sandwiches while sitting there bored out of my mind. Here goes it:

START ME UP

The "Start Me Up" is a sandwich designed for the non egg liking folk like the Floss, but it could also be prepared with egg as well. First we start with 2 McDonald's McGriddle cakes because they are the best. However, for this sandwich we need to double the size of the cake. Working from the bottom up, we start out with a nice piece of canadian bacon or ham depending on your preference. Then we add a piece of American Cheese. Next up is a sausage patty. Cheese. Then we add a hash brown. Cheese. Top it off with some bacon. Syrup dipping sauce is optional. This could definitely be prepared at home or by a chain.

BCT

The BCT is actually not a sandwich but a taquito. It would be prepared by putting buffalo chicken dip on a taquito shell. We would also fire it up a bit with some diced jalepenos. Then bake that baby to a crisp. Queso and salsa for dipping. Perfect game time snack.

THE SOLUTION

Maybe this was just a problem for the Floss, but it doesn't change this dominant sandwich. The problem for the Floss was when tailgating I couldn't choose between kielbasa and grilled italian sausage. For this sandwich, we need a nice hoagie bun. You place the italian sausage right in the middle of the bun. Then you cut the kielbasa down the center. Then you take the kielbasa and form a little "kielbasa tent" over top of the sausage. Every bite will have both tastes. Other fixins for this would be optional. For me it would be raw onion and a shitload of ketchup. This is a great tailgating option. We could name this sandwich, "The Return of Pitt Football". Just a thought.

EASTER MONDAY

This sandwich was thought of because the Floss' love for ham. Everyone loves the leftover turkey sandwiches on the Friday after Thanksgiving. This year you can enjoy them while watching the Pitt Panthers take their second consecutive shit on the state of West Virginia. But back to the Easter Monday. We need a soft Kaiser bun for this. You top with some ham. Then you need a key ingredient, which is some sweet potatoes, preferably some mashed ones for sandwiching purposes. Then you add some grilled pineapple slices. No veggies needed on this bad boy. You could also add some BBQ sauce to increase the sweetness of this sandwich. Mmmmmm...

THE CAROLINER

The title of the blog. This was my favorite creation. Named in memory of CINC. It is a sandwich that he truly would love. First off you need a fork to eat this bad boy, which normally turns the Floss and others off, but not once you hear about this one. We need a biscuit to start this. Not a small biscuit. We need one 2.5 to 3 times the size of normal biscuits. We need some roided biscuits for this guy. Then we add a country fried steak to the bottom. Then a heaping scoop of mashed potatoes. Then another country fried steak on top of it. Sprinkle a half pound of shredded cheeses(cheddar and colby jack), then top it all off with some chicken gravy. This one is the Floss' favorite. Comments please. I'd like the readers to rank these in their favorite order.

HOW DRUNK WAS THE FLOSS LAST NIGHT?

Well he was drunk enough to borrow DROF's ID and get into Peter's Pub last night thanks to Pitt's own Dom Williams playing "guard" for Peter's Pub as well. Good to know he has a future as a guard at some level. Unlike previous Peter's experiences the Floss was virtually all alone. I entered with a friend, but not someone who the Floss really trusts. As we all know, the Floss' bar etiquette isn't exactly polished, but last night he was okay. Bought 2 pitchers for our table as a nice gesture. The Floss had a stacked wallet with 80 bones, but I didn't buy one shot. When I was sitting at my table, the Floss saw a girl that he was friends with. A very very hott girl. Once the Floss tried to serenade her with the great American classic, "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani. So the Floss went to talk to her. After the hello's and how you doin's, she goes, "your not 21 at all are you?". What a cunt. Not exactly something to say to the Floss. But then I came back with, "you aren't either". We agreed. So the Floss with his little bar etiquette offered to buy said female a shot. Her reply, "I have an exam at 8 AM tomorrow" and she peaced the convo. What a cunt. After that experience, and the fact that the bar was wall to wall, the Floss decided to go home and drink his patented Vlad and lemonade. Morale of the story: Not every night I go to the bar has to end in an elevator, only the good ones.

APOLOGEEZY

I debated an apology, but my thought was it would not go over well since the Floss just did apologize. Honestly every day that went by without an update hurt the Floss more than it did the fans. Many people would argue that the Floss is a blogger first and a student second, however that's not how MOF(mother of Floss) views it. The worst thing we can do is dwell on the past here(ask Dave Wannstedt). We need to focus on the future. Suggestions for blogs are always welcomed and encouraged. A couple late Thursday tidbits:

TODD THOMAS

Todd Thomas has joined the Pittsburgh Panthers family. He is the 13th player to commit in the '09 class. He is listed as a WR, but the Floss sees big things for him at safety. He will be a RS FR when Elijah Fields and the Dominator are SR's. Most people will say he has an offensive mentality, and it will be hard for him to move to defense. I disagree. Elijah Fields and Dom Decicco were both offensive studs in high school that have found their niche on defense.

GOLI GOLI GOLI

Alex Goligoski just scored his 2nd NHL goal right in front of my eyes. It was a Power Play goal just like his only other NHL goal. It wasn't pretty, but it is always nice to see players put the puck on net. As the saying goes, "you put the puck on net, good things happen".


FUCK RYAN FITZPATRICK

IN THE NAVY

Honestly, on Oct. 2nd at 11PM, I said I was angry we had a 16 day break. Honestly, it felt like the whole offseason all over again. Scary thing about that is...well we all know what happened our first game back. So with no further adoo...

WHY PITT WILL BEAT NAVY BY 14+...

-Shady McCoy. He torched them last year and he will do it again. Shady just needs to hold onto the rock against Navy. He's sooooo hot right now too. Feelin' 2 Bills outta Shady Saturday.

-Billy the Kid. Pat Bostick threw all over this team last year. There is no doubt Bill can pass on Navy when we need him too Saturday. It will also help Billy that Shady will set up play action and short distance passing downs. All QB's are better in short yardage downs.

-Jonathan Baldwin. I have compared him to Larry Legend ever since he chose the Panthers. Larry had a big game in week 2 against A&M, but then didn't really break out until around game 5. JB had his coming out party last week, and he will now turn into a ridiculous talent. Navy's starting corners are 5'7 and 6'0 tall. JB is 6'6. (giggling)

-Scott McKillop. People are giving him the respect he deserves finally. All he ever does is step up in big games. People are saying 15+ tackles. I see it too.

-Corners. Jovani Chappel and AB are both very very solid tacklers. This is huge when playing a team like Navy. They should be able to contain the outside sweeps of Navy.

-Revenge. Don't think this team forgot about last years embarassing nationally televised loss to Navy. This might actually be the biggest factor.

WHY NAVY MIGHT HANG CLOSE FOR A WHILE...

-Homecoming. Homecoming fires up everyone. Navy has a very passionate fan base. The game will be a sell out of 34,000 fans. However, people are projecting near 8,000 Pitt fans. 8,000 Pitt fans would be unreal. Can't wait to hear Let's Go Pitt chants.

-Defensive Ends. The DE's are excellent pass rushers, but they do have trouble keeping contain on the ends. They need to play at home. Hopefully the 2 weeks has also given our players a chance to get used to cut blocking.

-Kaipo. Kaipo owned us last year. He is a scary player to think about. He can run that offense to perfection.

-Wanny. If Wanny doesn't know how to stop their offense in year 2, he better take a long hard look in the mirror. He brought up stopping the Oklahoma teams back in the day. How couldn't he stop this Navy O? The spread is way harder to defend than the triple option, but Wanny seems to have a decent grasp of the spread. Example No. 133351324245 of why Dave Wannstedt doesn't make sense.

FLOSSIN' PREDICTION

P-I-T-T 35

NAVY 17

HAIL TO PITT

SORRY

The Floss is in a good mood and wants to start drinking, so sorry for the lack of update. Here's a YouTube gem by someone with way too much time on his hand. The man who put this together is a great American, and he should be commended. Probably not work safe.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LjF3MfXRFo&feature=related

RANT RANT RANT

Hello? Where are the fans? Weak participation by the fans since the Floss' illustrious return to the free World. The fans are what get me to this computer in the morning to come help make your day a little more enjoyable. Daily Flossin' is good for everyone, but some much needed love this way is in order. Come on people. The Floss did receive a text today from a new reader(Mr. Shenanigans) stating "I'm reading the floss and it is the greatest thing I have ever seen. Already bookmarked it on my favorites". The fans were going to get a ton of heat today, until that text came in this morning.

CARPE DIEM

Seize the Day(or season). If you haven't looked at the current make-up of the AFC, look again. The Steelers aren't showing the sense of urgency that they need to considering the circumstances. The AFC is as ripe as Hannah Montana for the Steelers' taking. Honestly, the Titans are 5-0. Their QB is Kerry Collins. Kerry Collins, we can beat him. Collins isn't exactly Tom Terrific or Peyton. Next in the list of AFC contenders are the Buffalo Thrills. While they are a nice story, Coach T and the boys can't be shaking in their boots about playin' Trent Edwards or J.P. Losman. The Denver Broncos have absolutely 0 defense. Peyton isn't healthy. Jacksonville is struggling, San Diego sucks. Matt Cassel ain't beatin us, neither is Joey Flacco(maybe in a few year). The AFC is yours Ben. Just fuckin' take it. Grab the AFC by the balls and win this thing. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't mind a trip to the Super Bowl. Let's go...

GOING GREEN

Honestly, going green is the newest most annoying fad ever. Like honestly, everyone tries to push going green on you now a days. This really pissed me off at the Steelers' game last Monday, when the Steelers' had their "Green Tip of the Day". The tip: Use less water by taking short showers, no baths(Floss doesn't like baths), and don't leave the water running while you brush your teeth. Other tips include things like re-using towels to reduce water used while washing clothes. Seriously, Americans used to be able to get by with just not littering. They want us to do the dumbest things in this Going Green campaign. I hate it. Isn't this another instance where common sense can prevail. You don't need to push people to do things that they already know what to do. They should start putting tips like, "you can't afford a 400,000 dollar house if you live on a mailman's salary(Karl Malone excluded)", because the market is a helluva lot more important than the Earth's history 1,000,000,000,000,000 years from now.

MY RESUME

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NORTH CAROLINA...WHERE THE CARS ARE CLEANER THAN THE WOMEN(PART 2)

NOW INTO THE BAR-AGE

I will give it to the erotic car wash for having a nice set up inside their car wash. There was a VIP room(shed), massage chairs(eww), and a legitimate bar. Naturally the Floss wasn't served because the mulletted man doesn't serve to underagers. If we were at Chili's or Friday's, the Floss would expect to not get served, but an erotic car wash seemed like a home run. The set-up was much like any other car wash, just an open room with hoses, buckets, and water, o my. The tables were completely separated from where the girls were washing up SFCOF's whip. We couldn't really see the girls while they washed the car, but why would we want too....

POWER RANKINGS OF CAR WASWHORES...

1. 90 LB Pound Black Girl--Naturally they don't wear name tags because where would they pin that on their bare bodies? She looked like she was either fresh out of high school or possibly still in high school. I don't know what her redeeming qualities were, but having all of her teeth definitely helped her rating. She conversed mainly with a black man who brought in his Mercedes. He definitely knew something about her that we didn't. She definitely provided extra services...
2. Red Corsette with a Gut--You might be wondering how a stripper with a gut would make the list at number 2, but that is just a testament to the quality of carwaswhores. She definitely had popped out a few kids, but had decent boobs and ass that jumped her to number 2.
3. Mommy Long Nips--One of the waswhores actually tending to our car. Her nipples looked like little pencil erasers that extended for 6 feet. Unbelievable is really the only way to describe them.
4. Short Haired Black Chick--She had nothing going for her, but she just wasn't the worst.
5. Long Haired Black Chick--She was the definition of "more cushion for the pushin'". At a solid playing weight of 245. She could have played rush end for the Carolina Panthers. She kept walking too close to me and I thought if she tripped, it might have ended for the Floss. SBT kept making fart noises when her ungodly large ass would squeeze past all of us. Comedy was really high.
6. Crack Whore--Probably the only way I could accurately describe this beauty. She was an experienced vet at probably 40, but from all the crack looked 50 to 60. Unlike a fine wine, age did not help her out. She asked us why we didn't want to get dances, probably because we didn't want: A) Crack, B) Cocaine, C) Aids, D) Herpes, or E) All of the above plus every other STD.

CAR WASH SKILLS

The area where I figured the carwaswhores would struggle was actually their strong suit. Honestly, before going into the car wash, I figured we would actually need to go to a real car wash after just so it would look respectable to SFCOF. These girls actually did an excellent job washing the car. They actually did break out Armor All for the tires. Highlight of the day was when Mommy Long Nips called over CINC about something with the car. CINC had his goofy smile on while the rest of us sat up in our seats waiting to see what was going to happen next. Mommy Long Nips apparently is a Nascar fan because she noticed while watching the tires that the brakes in the car were very worn and would probably need replacing. This turned out to be the case for SFCOF two weeks later. I'm just glad we didn't have to stay there and watch Mrs. Long Nips install the new brakes. So next time you see an erotic car wash, pass. Just wait for your local high school cheerleader's car wash. The girls are way more illegal, but way hotter.

NORTH CAROLINA...WHERE THE CARS ARE CLEANER THAN THE WOMEN

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GUINS '08 PREVIEW

When does hockey end and start? The Floss doesn't know. Hockey might have snuck up more on me than jock itch at these September Pitt games. Can't believe that the Pens will drop the puck tomorrow in Stockholm against the Senators. While the Floss doesn't know too much about hockey, he would love to weigh in his thoughts on the upcoming season.

FORWARDS

The top line for the Pens will look completely different other than the Kid in the middle. This line took a huge HUGE hit in free agency. To think that Fedotenko and Satan can even come close to the production of Malone and the TRAITOR is crazy. This line will take a long time to develop. I don't expect much from this line until about game 15 or 20. The 2nd line will need to produce a LOT for this team to win games early this season. No hiding the fact that the Floss is a BIG BIG fan of Jordan Staal, and this is his year to score a TON of points playing alongside a stud like Geno and a scorer like Peter Syk. I expect nothing short of great things from this line. The third line will be interesting. It will probably be lined up as Cooke-Talbot-Dupuis. If there was ever a more grind it out line anywhere I would like to see it. This line will be a glue line. Mad Max can get this line points and Dupuis has some scoring ability if he can hit the damn net. Cooke? Well he is a mystery to me since the Floss doesn't follow enough hockey. I don't know how much production to expect from a 4th line seeing as it is a 4th line. Kinda sad that Finnish scoring sensation Janne Pesonen is playing on the eastern side of the state to start the year. The 4th line in Stockholm tomorrow will be everyone's favorite junkyard dog TK, Tyler Kennedy with new muscle man, goon Eric Godard and Jeff Taafe. Taafe is a nice player and this line could actually produce if they had another scorer instead of Goony Godard. He better seriously beat some ass because I hate goons in hockey. The bottom line is that our team will score. Maybe not as much as last year, but we will still put our fair shares of goals in the net. We will miss Malone and TRAITOR, but really who doesn't think Malkin and Crosby won't pick it up. A full year of Crosby and Malkin means we can do a lot of special things. The only question is which one for NHL MVP?

DEFENSEMEN

Gonch bein down for 4 to 6 months is a huge blow. He was always one of the Floss' favorite Pens. Someone will need to step up to be the point man on the power play. I don't know who will be the defenseman in the man up. Early guess would be Letang with Malkin definitely playin up top. The defense pairings are anyones guess. I would imagine Orpik-Scud, Gil-Tanger, Eaton-Goli. Those are my top 6, how Thierren matches them up is anyones guess. The D should be solid again. Goli is my new homeboy, so he better dress over Sydor. I hate his old ass legs even though he played well in the playoffs when called upon. The return of Eaton could really boost the team. He is good when healthy. Orpik better prove that his 15 SECONDS of fame were worth all the cash he got this offseason. Hal Gil hopefully will kill someone this year and live up to his full potential. Scud hopefully will prove that '07 wasn't a fluke and he can't revert back to his form when he played with Josef Melichar. Letang is poised to break out. Expect him to help fill Gonch's void.

GOALIE

Flower is a beast. I hate the nickname, but Bob Errey says it way too good. So I will stick with it. He just needs to come to play every day. I hated letting a proven player like Conklin go for such little money in favor of Sabourin. Sabourin sucks. Hopefully our offense comes to play when he is out there.

PROJECTIONS

I hate to say it, but I don't think we go back to the Cup. Not this year. We need another crop of free agency and some development for a few young guys away. Barring major industry or Marc Andre Fleury developing Pat Bostick's mental stability, the Pens are definitely a playoff team. I think the Pens will definitely get over 100 points. I see them as probably the 5ish seed. I don't really have a scouting report on our division, but I don't think we will win it. I could see the Pens struggling "gelling" early on. In the playoffs, I foresee a 2nd round loss to someone. But thats why they play the games...to prove the FLOSS WRONG.

MAN OF MY WORDS

Thank You Uncle Dave. 2 wins over top 10 teams in your last 6 games as Pitt head coach. Now let's win the Big East.

SHORT, QUICK GAME THOUGHTS

-I know most of you don't want too many of these, so here are a few.
-Jon Baldwin, welcome to college football
-Shady beasted last night. He needs to keep running like he did last night.
-I came around a lot to Bill Stull last night. He ran the team. He made good throws except a few early in the game.
-The way the staff is using Larod is brilliant. He should get a space on the athletes walk outside of the Cathedral. Classy player.
-O-Line did a nice job again. Probably about 3 sacks given up, but factor in the near 2 bills on the ground.
-Scott McKillop is better than HB Blades ever was. See him on Sundays next fall.
-The D-Line was fantastic with 4 sacks last night.
-Dom Decicco, ARMY OF ONE
-Congrats team. 16 Days 'til Navy. No hangover...

TOP 5 HANGOVER FOODS

5. PANCAKES- Just like pancakes sop up syrup, they also do a good job with alcohol. They are light, fluffy, and delicious. Floss loves them at any time, but they do especially well with hangovers. Best kind hungover are probably blueberry. Reason why? Everyone knows putting a good thing like fruit in your body immediately offsets some bad. Duh?

4. CHINESE- It was my first asian. It took me until college to try out the Asian hangover remedy of lo mein, but it's a deadly deadly combination. Usually I go with beef lo mein with rice on the side. The flavors are perfect for hangovers for some reason. I know one of DROF's favorite things is the Won-Ton soup to help ease the cloudy pipes. Only problem with chinese food is that it might come out pretty deadly. No one likes to have the runs with a headache. No one.

3. McDONALDS(lunch)- For some reason I get McDonalds hungover more when I'm in Murrysville for the summer, rather than when I live a hop, skip, and a jump away. Your ultimate grease fiesta. Plus with Powerade flowing from the soda fountain, Mac D's is a completely viable option. What does the Floss eat you may wonder? 2 plain McChickens, 2 plain DBC's(double cheeseburgers), and a large fry. Shabooya.

2. HOAGIES- Little Nippers provides the best with their buffalo chicken hoagie. Buffalo fries can cure any sickness. It has the spice to wake you up, the bread to sop up the booze, and the chicken for your protein. Boom. Winner Winner BUFF CHICK dinner. Souf Oakland Steaks is also very tasty, but you worry too much about mess with them. They taste better drunk because being messy drunk is fun. Hungover, who wants to clean up? However, hung over they still solve a lot of life problems.

1. SHEETZ- I mean really, could their be another choice than Sheetz for the top spot? The Floss really misses Sheetz right now bein in Oaktown. You can always get breakfast here which is huge. The chicken biscuit with cheese and ketchup rules. A very deadly combo that people need to try: Pretzel Melts. A pretzel melt with ham, hot pepper cheese, green peppers, and the clutch as hell salsa. Try it. You won't regret it. Not too mention Sheetz garlic fries. You go from bad breath(boozy) to worse breath(boozy and garlicky). Plus Sheetz covers all your favorite hangover beverages.

26-21

-Floss

As an addendum to the blog, the Floss would also like to add a disclaimer that the chew following any of these meals is a big thing. So really when factoring in these rankings, just think of 1A-SKOAL. I think we all know why.