STEPPING BACK FROM THE LEDGE

The Floss cannot speak about what happened at Heinz Field this weekend. The Bay of Pigs went more smoothly than what happened on the North Shore this weekend. Not too mention, today in class I listened to Phillies fans talk about popping champagne and rioting in Oakland when the Phils win. Personally, I hope cops arrest everyone of them, well actually I hope Hamels breaks his leg then Ryan Howard cracks his head open running for a fly ball. Then the Rays win in 7 and all of those awful Phillies fans suffer minus that 10%. Notice that J-Rol and Utley didn't get hurt, that's cause they are cool. Now onto a fun blog...

FIT OR QUIT?

Well this blog was thought of by former DROF while he was not low. It was also based on a comment made about the Floss being able to fit into a fridge. Normal fridge, not one of those skinny tall guys. We talkin' bout a fat, short fridge. The Floss can clearly fit into something that size.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DESK

I think the Floss could sit, but couldn't get out without injury. Like a hip pointer would probably be a common injury here. Maybe scraped knee after hitting the floor. I hate those desks that clearly make the fat kids feel fat. America is getting bigger people, effin deal with it.

UNDER A BED

You have to use your imagination here for the size of a bed, but imagine a normal size one that you could easily fit under at age 11. Since the Floss has gotten larger since age 11, I don't know about this one either. I'm sayin I could still do it. The Floss could probably still get out unscathed too. It would take some time and wouldn't be fun, but you gotta believe.

ROCKET SHIP

Most of you probably thought the Floss was referring to a ride at Kennywood or something, but no, I mean a real space ship. The Floss doesn't feel like he could do well in space. The inside of a rocket ship would be too close. Then the Floss would hit his head off all the little panels and things. I know, I know that you wear space helmets, but I would probably break mine. Then a bunch of space chemicals would get into my head and I would die. No question about it, the Floss wouldn't go to space. So I can't slice a 6 iron off the face of the moon. Plus you gotta worry about Lance Bass gettin all homo up there. I heard that space juice is what made him gay. I'm serious. Don't go to space.

Remember to give your thoughts on how the Floss would fare in all of these places. Give your thoughts on space and what not. Tomorrow will be the aftermath blog. Not the Steelers because they rebound. We don't know what will happen with the Pitt Panthers, well everyone except the Floss.