2 HELPINGS OF RANT--THANKSGIVING EDITION

Holiday issues coupled with the lackluster computer in the home of the Floss, there will probably be no updates until around next Monday. The Floss says sorry for that. Here are 2 rants courtesy of the Floss, both relating to Turkey Day:

"HAPPY T-GIVING TO U AND UR FAMILY"

What's this you ask? O, u all no, it's a tm wishing u a happy holiday. I hate the mass texts that swirl around on holidays. If you are going to waste time to send a text, personalize the damn thing. The mass text on holidays is like the "hey, we haven't talked in between 6 and 12 months, but just so you know I care enough about you to check the box next to your contact info, take care". Seriously, the mass texts on holidays are sooooooooooo wizzzzeeak. The Floss bets if you all think about it, you can think already about the people who will send you one. However, there are always those people that you definitely didn't expect probably because they are the ones with a send all button. Not too mention, it is almost guaranteed that on one of the MMTH(Major Mass Text Holidays), you will receive a MTM(Mass Text Message) from a number you don't even have. The Floss sees 2 possible solutions to this MTM problem:

1. Prank Mass Texts. Get a list of all the people that you were going to send a TM to on an MMTH and change what you were going to say to something funny like, "balls on your chin". Not only will this confuse people, but they will just know to not MTM you ever again.

2. Change the MMTH around. Stop on the important holidays. The Floss thinks if you really want to wish someone a happy holiday, you might as well personalize the text. Let's just change the MMTH around to some more fun times. Some examples, Cinco de Mayo, MLK Day, any anniversary of a Steelers' Super Bowl, etc. Can you imagine a MTM for MLK Day, "Hey all, just wanted to say Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Sip some juice. Love ya, Floss". Yes We Can.

LIONS AND COWBOYS

Fuck the Lions and Cowboys. There is no reason that they should both be playing every year on Turkey Day. The Lions haven't had a meaningful week 13 game in probably 10 years. Although you could argue the Lions haven't had a meaningful game in 10 years, sans ones where they are playing for draft picks. The Cowboys are America's team, so what? Give everyone else a shot damnit. Another thing, the NFL should not allow the NFL Network to show the primetime game. Seriously, your the most successful sport in terms of popularity and revenue, stop selling your soul every fuckin' year. At least if your going to take the only decent game of the day away from the fans, pay the refs a competitive salary. This year ESPN bit them though by putting no. 2 Texas on TV at the same time. To hell with the NFL Network.

101st EDITION OF THE BACKYARD BRAWL

-No real preview of the game, last game still pisses me off.
-At least we can stop the run.
-This is the last time Pat White will play Pitt, thank god, he was one of my favorite qu'eers to watch.
-Probably Shady's last home game. It's awesome that Pitt's 2 best players in my lifetime were both prep school products. Thanks.
-The game will be a sell out, might actually have an atmosphere.
-FLOSSY PREDICTION:
PITT 24
QUEERS 14

To go back to something from yesterday, Pitt can still win 10 games this year. Do you know the last time Pitt won 10 games, 1981. The Floss wasn't even thought about in 1981. The computer wasn't even real in 1981. Do you know how many times Pitt has won 9 games since 1981, 2 FUCKING TIMES. And one of those times was 1982. In the Floss' tenure on this Earth, 1988 going forward, Pitt has won 9 games once. It was the glorious 2001-2002 season where Larry Fitz torched the Oregon St. Beavs in the Insight Bowl. Get a grip people, this is going to be the most successful year in almost 30 FUCKING years. Stop your bitching.

CINCI HANGOVER

"I'll remember this trip forever, but not because of the football game"--PnR

The trip to Cinci this weekend was very interesting to say the least. As Vinnie Vaughn says in Wedding Crashers, "I don't want to talk about it because it will just make me mad". So let's just focus on the football related thoughts:

-Seriously, I hate the negativity that Pitt fans have as a whole. Seriously, Pitt hasn't won 7 games in 3 years, now we finally do and people bitch. We lost to Bowling Green and Rutgers, both at home, going into the Cincinnati game. The fans acted like Pitt was god-damn-invincible. Fans already writing this season off are god damn insane. Pitt can still win 10 GAMES. Honestly, before the year I would have been elated with 10 wins. Not too mention a 2-1 finish gets us 9 wins, another above average season. I don't know why Pitt fans feel that we are USC and anything less than 10 wins is absurd. The only way the Floss will take this blog straight to negative town is a 0-3 finish. The Floss has had it up to here with these stupid fans. This has been the best year to be a Pitt fan since the Fiesta Bowl season. Be happy for once.

-Cincinnati has about 3,000 real fans. Everyone we met in Cicinnati cared way way more about tOSU than they did about Cinci. They all assumed that we would be rooting for PSU against MSU because they thought we were PSU fans because we were from PA. It was a weird thing. Way less school pride than Pitt which means nothing when they go to the Orange Bowl. Overall, the Floss is still proud to be PITT AND IT. By this I mean, Pitt and that's fucking it. IT. The Floss still likes other teams, but there is no questioning where my fanhood rests.

-The campus of Cincinnati is weird. It has some nicer parts than Pitt, primarily some grass and a football stadium(even though it is a concrete mess with bleachers) that serves beer. Their ghetto is worse than the Hill. It was an interesting town though and had more of a college feel I guess.

-One brightspot this weekend was learning that you can get TRIPLE meat on a Subway hoagie. The Floss watched Mr. Shenanigans order a TRIPLE MEAT TRIPLE CHEESE Chicken Bacon Ranch at a Subway on the way home from Cinci. It had 12 Subway boats of chicken strips, 12 pieces of bacon, 12 triangles of cheese. It was an amazing feat although still a ripoff for 14 dollars.

-New basketball rankings are out and the Panthers somehow jumped UCLA AND Duke. A little shocked the Panthers jumped Duke, but obviously the Floss agrees with the move. Any question which conference will dominate college basketball this year. The Big East has the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 8th, 15th, 16th, and 22nd ranked teams. By votes they also have the 31st and 33rd ranked teams. Also watch out for the 'Cuse, no. 33, to take out Florida tonight in the CBE classic. The Floss usually thinks 'Cuse is overrated, but not this year. Johnny Flynn, Devendorf, Onuaku, Paul Harris, Andy Rautins, Scoop Jardine, Rick Jackson, and Kristof Ongenaet. These are all players who have played legitimate minutes for the Orange before in their career. They also lost a cancer with Donte Green. I don't know why the Floss felt the need to slurp on the Orange, but just watch out for them.

-The Floss also wants to comment on "Joshua". He is someone who just randomly commented on the Floss' Pitt--Cinci preview. We're moving in the right direction. The Floss knows 0 Joshua's. The fan count has easily topped double digits.

PITT PREVIEW

Well the Floss nearly hit his Steeler's projected score from tonight, he doesn't claim to be a genius, but damn close. Before we get to the Pitt preview, the Floss wants to give credit to Duke staying tough and blowing out SIU. It was truly a nice win. Also, great win for John Beilein over Ben Howland's UCLA team. I hadn't seen UCLA yet, but for that team to be ranked over Pitt is crazy. Darren Collison is not as good as Levance Fields, no bullshit. Fields can score better, lead better, and dish just as well. Defensively might be where DC is better. The rest of their starting lineup is STUD freshman Jrue Holiday. He is good, but not near the freshmen that we have seen the past two years used. Then Josh Shipp, a role player who will be solid all year. James Keefe, really? Alfred Aboya, he is a good rebounder and a decent defender. UCLA was confused by a marginal Michigan team's 1-3-1 D. They were very confused. I will give a ton of credit to Michigan and Beilein, but UCLA was vastly overrated. At best they are the 15th best team in the nation. Sorry. Now onto the biggest game in OHIO this weekend, sorry CINC...

PITT OFFENSE VS. CINCI DEFENSE

The Cinci D has one hell of a secondary, but really does a secondary come into play that much against a team that doesn't throw downfield? That is the biggest question. Cinci also has a pretty solid front 4. However, the Pitt O-Line has gotten much better as the weeks have passed. If they can get down and block solidly, which the Floss thinks they will, I like their matchup against the Cinci LB's. The Cinci LB corp is solid, but nothing I'm writing home to MOF about. If Robby Armstrong, Franklin Regional's 2nd best RB of my lifetime(Soup Campbell), is starting at SAM LB, the Floss will be grinning ear to ear. LeSean "Shady" McCoy will be grinning the same as he is going one on one versus LB's all night. If this happens, Shady could go real tough on them. Against the Pitt passing game, I expect Brian Kelly, the best coach in the BE, to jam cover the WR's all day. I think this could actually backfire in his eye if Coach Cav(Skoal Wintergreen) decides to go up top early to JB. If we can get JB to make a big play early, their corners won't be able to be as aggressive. Many people clamor for the pass over the middle to TE's, but I think keeping the ball away from the middle will keep us from turnovers. We should also focus on hitting all of these screens that we have been hitting. A simple offensive gameplan is all the Panthers need. Shady should rush for 150 on about 30 carries.

PITT DEFENSE VS. CINCI OFFENSE

The Cinci offense doesn't scare the Floss one bit. They don't have a solid running back. They have 2 that have barely got over 1000 yards, and that is in one more game than Pitt's LeSean Mccoy has played. Tony Pike and Dustin Grutza are both marginal at best. Cinci runs a spread offense with less fire power than the USF offense that Pitt faced(I know USF has crapped the bed since). The point is, Pitt can stop a spread offense. Phil Bennett has been scheming defense's up for 2 weeks for this game. Pitt can probably get away with just playing their base 4-3, but you know Pitt can mix in some of the bandit defense that has been so successful. The Floss is worried that Pitt won't be able to get a turnover. I think the Panther's defense needs to force just one singular turnover for us to get a win this weekend. I think G-Rom or Ball can get a sack forced fumble off the edges. The Floss doesn't see any problems with the Pitt D this week, unless Mike Teel comes out for Cinci.

PITT SPECIAL TEAMS

-7 Blocked Kicks
-Conor Lee
-Aundre Wright, LaRod
-TJ's African Army

Pitt's special teams are better than 90% of team's in the country. I like their matchup any day. The wind in Cinci could hurt both teams though.

FLOSSY PREDICTION

PITT 31
CINCI 20

FIGHT ON FOR DEAR OLD PITTSBURGH, AND FOR THE GLORY OF THE GAME, SHOW OUR WORTHY FOE, THE PANTHERS ON THE GO, PITT MUST WIN TODAY, RAH, RAH, RAH, CHEER LOYAL SONS OF PITTSBURGH, CHEER ON TO VICTORY AND FAME, FOR THE BLUE AND GOLD WILL CONQUER AS OF OLD SO FIGHT, PITT, FIGHT!!!!!!!!

STEELERS AND BASKETBALL

The squad better come out ready today. The Bungholes are playing better right now, probably playing for Marvin the Martian's job. Sidenote: Hopefully Marvin Lewis is their coach for 2 more years, then takes over for a retiring Dick LeBeau and our 2/3 black coaching staff would dominate. The Bengals did play 5 quarters for a tie against the slumping Eagles, but they are a fiesty bunch. The Floss is honestly worried about the game. Without a quick start the Steelers could be playing from behind which with our O-Line, the Bengals could get lots of pressure on Ben if he needs to throw. That being said, if we get an early lead, always write off a 1-8-1 team. The Bengholes love playing tough against us mainly cause they HATE Hines Ward cause he torches them like Santonio Holmes torches blunts. I saw something today that said James Harrison is the 2nd best defensive player in the NFL. Well the Floss is here to say that he is number 1. The way he takes over a game is unbelievable. He reeks havoc on all O-Linemen. He forces fumbles, now he makes INT's. Shit, that n*gga can play. Plus a healthy Troy Polamalu helps that defense a bit, huh? I don't care what anyone says, the Steelers are still the Floss' pick to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. Keep Ben healthy, get Willie healthy, and don't get as fucked as we've been with injuries. The Steelers are for real.

FLOSSY PREDICTION
STEELERS 27
BUNGHOLES 14

EARLY HOOPS THOUGHTS

-Duke is overrated again. I can't believe that team is ranked 5th. I know it was one early season game, but the Floss is here to say that Duke will be a 7 seed in the tourney. Seriously, does Jon Scheyer scare anyone? Singler? Hendo? This isn't JWill, Booz, and Dunleavy. Sorry Dukies. Remember CINC, I'm a Duke fan second.

-The Floss also says don't take too much from the whole transitive property of winning thing. Pitt killing Miami OH was impressive especially with Big Ben in attendance, but because Howland's boys only beat them by 4 doesn't make us unstoppable. The real problem with this Pitt team will finding a solid rotation. Once Gil gets back who's minutes will get taken. Pitt also lacks another solid ball handler. Tre Woodall and Ash are decent, but if Fields goes down or gets in foul trouble, this could hurt real bad. Brad Wannamaker probably won't work out here.

-For Christmas, CINC can take the 2 hour trek to Davidson and pick me up a Steph Curry jersey. 2XL

-Tubby Smith definitely deserved to get fired, huh? Good job Gillespie, you fraud.

-If any of you saw the Arizona--UAB highlights, you must ponder how the Arizona players were that unaware of the score. Seriously, one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Way worst than C-Webb's timeout.

HAIL TO PITT!

MAILBAGGERY(ADD)

Since the Floss only checked questions from the one post, he missed this gem of a question.

I think its time for a Floss mailbag.....

2 questions

1. What steps has Floss made in his everyday life to become more mature to his eventual (yet still too far away) transformation into Bar Floss?

2. The Floss has to choose one Pittsburgh team to watch for the rest of his life (Pens, Pitt football, Steelers, or Pitt basketball), or he can give up chew and choose to watch 2 Pittsburgh sports teams for the rest of his life. What choice does he make and why?

-Pnr

Truthfully, Bar Floss is still a long way away. However, the one trip to Peter's this year when Bar Floss had to come out was a success. The reason was probably that the Floss was scared to make bad moves. Bar Floss got shot down by a girl, but comparing that to sleeping in an elevator is nothing. The Floss needs to avoid such liquor heavy pregames. If he does that before the bar, Bar Floss won't be allowed into bars. Maybe if the Floss had better bar role models in his life, this wouldn't be such an issue. I see the way y'all come back from Peters. Maybe last year's Bar Floss was just trying to follow suit.

This question is tough and it sucks. The part of the question that I don't get is, do I get to watch the rest of the league too? I'm going to assume no, but I'm going to allot myself an hour of SportsCenter each day. The Floss would definitely give up on chew in order to watch 2 of these teams. First, the Pens are crossed off. Since hockey could die in America before the end of my lifetime, they wouldn't be a safe bet. Plus they have only been a part of my life for a short time. This question is hard cause college football is getting hot, while basketball is just warm. While this decision definitely limits the amount of games(total) the Floss could watch, the Floss chooses both football teams. The Steelers are probably my least FAVORITE of the teams to watch(excluding Pens), but they are consistent. The chances of down years with the Steelers are the least. Pitt football takes up way too much of my life to give it up. The Floss loves Pitt football. Honestly though, passing on Pitt basketball was tough. No chance this ever happens, why I hate hypotheticals.


MAKE SURE TO READ THE BLOG UNDER THIS ONE FOR THE FULL MAILBAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAILBAGGERY

The Floss' second ever mailbag. First I would like to thank everyone that asked questions. Let's get the ball rollin'...

Are you excited to eat my meat?
--One of Five Guys Now Living in Murrysville

Quite frankly, NO. What kind of lame name is that? For a dumb question and name like that, the Floss is sentencing you to 5 minutes in a cage with James Harrison and Lamar Woodley.

Hey it's D. Dix, just wondering who the Floss views as the 'Best Dixon In Pittsburgh' these days?
--Assuming this is Dorin

Sorry Dorin and Dennis, but the realest Dixon in this town is the least black and athletic. Jamie Dixon is getting mad props from pundits around the country. Can this be the year Pitt gets past the Sweet Sixteen?

Floss, we getting past the Sweet Sixteen nigga! Sorry for almost running you over every morning in my yellow Hummer.
--Dejuan Blair

One of the Floss' biggest fans seems to think so.

If the Floss was the last person on earth what 5 things would he make sure he had at his disposal? -fof

This was an interesting question. I'm going to leave this to non-humans because if humans got involved this question would be harder than you can even think. The 5 Things:

1. Case of Dos Equis(assuming I'm on an island)
2. Handle of Jim Beam(great shot liquor)
3. Log of Skoal Mint
4. A Denny's Beer Barrel Pub 15 pound hamburger
5. Loaded Gun

I figure if the other 4 things don't kill me, I will still have a gun. The Floss ain't living as the last person on Earth, sorry. So the Floss would enjoy the beer, beam, chew, and burger, then put the gun to his head and say sianara. The Floss would also attempt to blog the whole event in the sand, however, the booze and laziness would set in as usual.

Although after discussing this question with fof he thought this question could bring a full floss in itself i will ask anyways. What are your top 3 drunk stories? B MAN

This could definitely be a full blog. Most of the Floss' drunk stories are too hazy to really write down. The best one is the Elevator story that was already blogged about. I will just give one more that the Floss has heard enough about that he can fully tell the tale with success...

The first Steeler game of the 2006-2007 season was against the Miami Dolphins. It was a Thursday night game where the Steelers were getting annointed as the defending Super Bowl Champs. Naturally the tailgating gang(RIP) got together and CINC threw down a seafood tailgate in honor of the Dolphins. The Floss pregamed the tailgate with DROF, then went down to the game. The shot of the day was Jose Cuervo, which the Floss has drank approximately 4 times in his life, and is currently batting .000 with good old Jose, which is ironic because of the popularity of baseball in Latin America, but I digress. There was also a bottle of Captain Morgan, which the Floss also remembers fooling around with on that day. The last thing I remember from the tailgate was eating shrimp that may or may not have fallen on the ground(hazy part of story). Then the Floss went into the game. Sidenote: The next parts of this story were told to Floss by others. DROF and CINC had sold their tickets so the Floss had no baby sitter while in the stadium. Apparently Jerome Bettis drove a school bus onto the field something I don't remember. The best part was actually the next week at the game when I returned to my seats, taking a ton of shit from everyone around me. The guy next to me wants to show me a picturefrom the week before...UH OH. It is a picture of his 2 HOT TWIN DAUGHTERS posed on both sides of the Floss with french fries that they stuck in my nose and ears. I wish this wasn't true.

What does The Floss, realllllly want to be when he grows up? And if you say a fucking accountant ill beat the shit out of you. -CINC

Not a logistics coordinator in a small southern city. The Floss has always wanted to be a sports agent, however, law school scares the shit out of the Floss. I figure crunch some numbers til I'm 30 and have money. Go to law school, work at a sports agency, then become an independent agent by the time I'm 40. Then I make loot cause naturally I'm illegally giving funds to all of the Pitt football players fresh off Wanny's 12th National Title. They go as top 40 picks. Then we marry a hot 27 year old, make some babies. I work til I'm 60, retire, and have the rest of my life to gamble in Vegas, sit on the beaches in Cali, and go to all Pitt and Steeler athletic events that I can. 2nd Choice would probably be a mime because I could never see myself have a job where I have to stay quiet all day.

What are the chances the Floss experiences one of his hangovers on the way to cincy? What are the expectations of the floss this weekend? What are the odds for each person in the car on who will be arrested? I'm giving Shenanigans (3 to 2) Foss (12 to 1) The Floss (6 to 1) Nasty Nate (2 to 1) -Shenanigans

The hangover actually has a near zero percent chance as the Floss plans on watching your Shenanigans and being prepared and ready to drive if necessary. The Floss will not be staying up all night Friday, he might not even have a drink. The Floss really cares about 3 things all weekend, everything else is a bonus:
1. We get to Cinci without a hitch and get the tickets as well
2. Pitt beats Cinci
3. No arrests

I don't care if we sleep in the car. I don't care if nothing is going on Saturday night cause PussyCat fans are masturbating in their own tears. The Floss just wants to get there, watch Pitt, and not get arrested. This does not mean the Floss will not be drinking. The Floss will be drinking a lot. A lot a lot.

As for your arrest percentages, they are all way too high. They look something like this to me:
Shenanigans (10 to 1)
Foss (15 to 1)
PnR (25 to 1)
Floss (50 to 1)
Foss is a dark horse due to his love of the blackout and he has no sense of responsibility. PnR can drink so much that he should be fine. Myself, I'm just worried about not fighting. You, Shenanigans, ball's in your court.

What does the Floss think needs to be done to correct the refs in the NFL? Way to many blow calls this year. Are the NFL refs taking pointers from the NBA? FFOF

First of all, the NFL really needs to somehow figure out how to clean the Steeler game mess up. Honestly, 66 more million dollars on the Steelers, and thats just legal money. They call 2 penalties on SD and 13 on Pittsburgh. They got away with the Troy TD because not that many fans really understood the gambling aspect. The NBA is probably easier to fix. I think with the penalty calls, they might have been taking some pointers from the NBA. The real problem with referees is their lack of pay. They work very hard and are considered part time employees. They all carry other jobs. Honestly, they put too much time and effort into a very underpaid job. Think of all the money made on football. You can't tell me we can't hire NFL refs for between 250,000 and 500,000 dollars. Give them a strong union like the players get. BTW, who are you FFOF?
If the Floss could reproduce with any celebrity, who would it be and why?
--Anonymous

Naturally the Floss would want a good mother as well. Britney Spears is not in the running. Sadly, neither is the Floss' favorite celebrity Kim Kardasian because of the Ray Jay video. Neither is Vanessa Hudgens(yummy) because of her boobs being on the Internet. Megan Fox's tattoos set her back. Sophia Bush(Brooke, One Tree Hill) is up there. The winner here though is Taylor Swift. She really has no flaws. The only negative is if we had a boy, he could grow up to be a singer and maybe a gay. However, the Floss is still the big winner since he gets to nail Taylor Swift.

Now my mailbags are the 2nd best on the Internet. :(
--Bill Simmons

Word.

MAIL TIME

PnR had a great idea for another Floss Mailbag. You should go back and read the other mailbag. The twist with this mailbag is that not only will celebrities make an appearance, but you the actual readers, will pose questions. So if you could please pose some questions in the comments section, I will answer any and all questions to the Flossiest of my ability.

HURTIN AND HUNGOVER

The Floss caught one of those mid day hangovers where you can't decide where the hangover will take you. So I figured I will rank the hangovers in order from worst to least:

ALL DAY NO BOOZE FOR ME

This is naturally the worst. For this kind of hangover, you need to have puked the night before. Because if you wake up drunk it doesn't classify in this category. You can't move all day. Food doesn't stand a chance. You dry heave throughout the day, and no sort of meds can cure your headache. You attempt to sleep, but all you can get are 15 to 30 minute nap sessions with vomiting in between. Trying to do things is impossible. These are by far the worst. SideStory: This summer the Floss stayed in Oakland on a Wednesday, drank with the B Man, PnR, and FOF. Next morning woke up for work an hour late. Then the Floss went into work, still a little drunk. I backed my car into a pole in the parking lot, no damage to the whip. Then went into work and proceeded to puke some gross orange or pink or whatever the hell color, not once, not twice, but 8 great times. The Floss just decided to leave at lunch, call it a day, pack it in. Even to this day MOF still has no clue. SOF(sister of Floss) said it would be a much better idea to not tell her. Mad props to SOF after this great day.

DRUNKEN CRASH

Not the worst because you get to wake up drunk in the morning, but eventually you crash harder than Kashav Bansal running into the bleachers in 4th grade schoolyard football(to this day one of the best scenes of my life). Your day pretty much is ruined. The pipes are hot which makes drinking the next night really hard. You kind of have to drink past this kind of hangover, but it's tough because at least for the Floss, the next day turns into the vomiting no sleep days. These hangovers can be fully beaten, but barely. Your chances of beating this kind of hangover are about 15%.

MID DAY MYSTERY

The current state of the Floss. You wake up with nothing, no drunk, no headache, just ready to go. Today for example the Floss was up and at the FedEx station sending his check for tickets to Pitt-Cinci next week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then the Floss went to Ace Athletic and got a white t for the rave tonight. Then I went and printed out my basketball ticket for the Final 4 Panthers first game of the season versus FDU. So all in all, the Floss was rockin and rollin. Now as I sit here and type this, my head aches and my tummy does equally. I think with the big night ahead that I can cure this by getting back at the dog that bit me. I think a RockStar and Vodka can cure this guy, especially with the excitement of Ashton Gibbs and Jermaine Dixon. However, sometimes these kind of hangovers can kill all motivation to continue drinking. These are mind games, you can easily go .500 in these types of hangovers if you're dedicated to the sauce.

2 HOUR NAP AND GOOD TO GO

Easily the favorite hangover of the Floss. You can put in a 2 hour nap, and all your troubles go away. I enjoy the nap and it cures my problems. Really not much more to say, but awesome.

NO HANGOVER

The gods of booze look out for you on these days. Probably only 5% of all drinking nights end in no hangover. These hangovers are scary because you never can trust not getting a hangover. You just worry about the next drinking night.

SATURDAY SATURDAY SSSSATURDAY

I don't know if y'all know the song but it sounds like the title. The Floss is hammered and going fast.

SUPERCUTS

Today I got my hair cut by a local Oakland barber, Joe Bellisari. He has had a barber shop in Oakland for 45 years. That is 45 years longer than I will probably live. He cut my hair today way too short. I told him a buzz cut with a 2. It might be a .5 at best. So now I will rant on SuperCuts. Girls that cut your hair at SuperCuts, exactly like BSV's. Except they are nice.... They are slutty. They have big titties. They can't hold a conversation. My big beef with these hair cutting hoes, they can't hold a convo. If they could have a legit convo, they would get bigger tips. I will tip a waitress thats a 6 that can fake flirt with me over a 10 that won't be girls that talk to me. The SuperCuts girls are the closest to wifes that you have in the servicing sector. They can most definitely be girls you take home to Mommy, but they need to lose the tats first. What???

P-I-T-T

The Floss wasn't going to go to the Pitt game vs. Louisville until he realized that only 6 times year he can watch them in person. FOF pointed this out to me. It is way to smart of a comment. The Floss puts in an hour a day or more on Pitt football. To not go to a BE conference game would be cheating on the Panthers. The Floss can't do that to the team he loves. Next question: Will the Panthers let us down at Heinz again? FUCK NO. This team has heard it enough now. No let down tomorrow. I think this Louisville team is 5000% better than the team that lost to Cuse last week. They actually have a pretty sweet stable of running backs plus a prototypical NFL QB. However, they might have the worst coach in college football. No matter if it is Pat Bostick(silent favorite of the Floss) or Billy the kid, Pitt will be more than okay tomorrow. The Floss is actually seeing a big winner for the Panthers tomorrow. The Floss sees the 8 thousand students having a great singing voice for Sweet Caroline. So sweet that Dr. Neil Diamond himself would be proud. Shady will go off again, no surprise. The Panthers dominate.

Flossy Prediction

PITT 34
CARDS 14