HOOTERS

CINC had the idea for this blog today and it literally caught me as a fun topic. Does the Floss like Hooters, you may ask? Heck Yes. However, you truly can overdue Hooters. Some rules for Hooters:

1. Always and I stress always tip >20%. The Hooters tip scale starts at 20% and can only go up.

2. Don't go more than once a month. If you become a regular at a Hooters, it isn't a good thing.

3. Don't go during an important sporting event or one that could potentially become stressful. I watched the end of the 2OT loss for the Pitt hoops team to Oklahoma St. about 4 years ago in a Hooters. Straight miserable cause everyone else there is having a good time, hooting and hollering just enjoying life while your trying not to kill someone.

One of the great things about Hooters is that it literally changed a clothing outfit. No girl will ever wear short orange shorts and a white tank top together because of the perception. It's just a cool thing, kinda like the McDonalds arches. The outfit also makes a great Halloween costume for women. It also puts all of the waitresses on a completely level playing field. Sometimes girls can look hotter by using slutty gear to decieve men. However, with the standard outfits you can pick out which girl is the hottest. It's also a complete necessity that every time you go to Hooters that you pick your favorite waitress and least favorite.

What about the food at Hooters? Really it's not that good. The wings are breaded way too much. However, I know for a fact that CINC likes to order them naked which still produces a pretty good chuckle from a still very immature Floss. The sandwiches don't come with fries so you need to pay extra although they do have Waffle fries. Rule of thumb, things shaped like waffles are always good. The food at Hooters is about a 5 out of 10, but obviously the atmosphere makes up for it.

Eating at Hooters also makes for a lot of great chuckles due to the awkwardness of having the Hooters girl flirt with you the whole time. The Floss' favorite instance was when a dining companion of his pointed out to the Hooters waitress that sometimes "it's hard to get the white stuff out" when trying to open his cup of ranch dressing.

Celebrities? Please one time in Altoona, my Hooters waitress was Sean Burnett's girlfriend. Yeah that Sean Burnett, a lefty specialist in the Majors. Yeah that's right.

Kids? Yes kids are definitely allowed in Hooters. I actually think a responsible father takes their son to Hooters in or around their 13th birthday with no Mom in sight. Actually scratch that, maybe this is a job for a cool uncle. UD will definitely be my choice of uncle to take my son to Hooters. I am fully convinced that this is the reason that DDP(L) is the man he is today.

Would I let my daughter work there? Yes. One of every man's worst nightmares is having a daughter. The crazy thing is that I would let mine work at Hooters. I bet they make 40,000+ a year with no education. That would be the stipulation, my daughter would have to not made it into college or dropped out.

I think this about covers every angle that you could take at Hooters. As always I appreciate your comments.

-Floss