DAVID VS. GOLIATH

Thanks to FOF for transcribing today's events...

Well, this is the event we have all been waiting for…

David vs. Goliath, Floss vs. 2 lb. burgers and an order of fries

The burgers are enormous, much bigger than I had anticpated. The competition will start at 2:03 PM and Floss will have until 2:43 to finish.

2:00 Floss is pacing back and forth across his living room

2:01 Floss takes a pre-meal pee

2:03 and we are off, Floss goes right into it, almost like he’s done this before in his dreams. He decided to attack the first burger head on, ignoring the fries. I like this strategy for Floss, he’s getting the mountains of meat out of the way right off the bat.

2:05 I’m not sure if Floss realizes he has 40 minutes, he is taking it to the burger right now. At this point in the contest, It doesn’t look like the burgers stand a chance. This man is focused, he’s on a mission to do the unthinkable.

2:06 Floss goes after his first French fry. ONE BURGER DOWN. Wow, this could get ugly for the 2^nd burger.

2:07 The preparation of the 2^nd burger begins (with addition of BBQ sauce) while he takes on a few more fries.

2:08 2^nd burger is underway. This looks like it could be and Ohio State BCS game performance for the burgers.

2:09 The great preparation and game planning by Floss seems to be paying dividends here in the first quarter (first 10 minutes) of this contest.

2:10 Floss is slowing down a bit, almost as if he knows he has this game won. He is now complaining about the cooking of Big Joe on the 2^nd burger; it is too well-done for Floss.

2:11 Floss goes after more fries, the 2^nd burger is 1/3 complete. Half of the fries have been downed by the big man.

2:12 Floss takes apart the 2^nd burger and is eating it in sections. He seems to be taking a page of the Joey Chestnut playbook here folks, we’ll see how this strategy pays off for him.

2:13 An admission from Floss that he is beginning to feel the effects of mountain of meat.

2:14 Another complaint that the burger is burned, more on this later but it looks as if Floss is preparing a potential excuse if he doesn’t pull through and finish.

2:15 Heavy breathing from Floss and a few coughs.

2:16 A solid break from the action here, Floss is drinking some water and taking in some TV

2:17 He claims he isn’t that full, but he believes his major stumbling block moving forward is that he feels fatigued; there has been a lot of action for this man’s jaw today folks.

2:18 “I’m just thinking about the can of Skoal at the end of the tunnel.” – Ryan Floss. I’m pretty sure he just won over the entire American population with that quote, or at least he won me over.

2:19 A few more fries are gone. This contest has approached a slow crawl at this point. There is a quarter of the final burger remaining and about 20 fries.

2:20 More fries for Floss, that seems to be his strategy here in the 2^nd quarter.

2:21 A little burger action, every bite counts at this stage of the game.

2:22 There isn’t much left for Floss to take in at this point, but he seems content taking his time.

2:23 It is halftime folks. There is only a few bites left and Floss is upbeat.

2:25 Floss is back at it after what seemed to be his halftime break of a minute.

2:27 Not a lot of focus in this room, Floss is engaging in conversation and doesn’t seem to be too interested in the limited amount of food left in front of him.

2:28 A couple more bites from Floss

2:29 “This is so frustrating” – Ryan Floss. Maybe the food is getting to him. He is beginning to psych himself out. I can’t say that I am surprised by this, this is classic Floss.

2:30 Some slow bites from Floss, there is only 5 bites total (burger and fries) left.

2:31 Another break for Floss.

2:32 A solid burp, and he is back at it. A couple more fries down. 3 bites left.

2:33 3^rd quarter is over, 3 bites still remain. 10 minutes left.

2:34 The 2^nd burger is finished! 2 fries remain.

2:35 Floss takes down the last 2 fries at once to finish off this epic battle between Floss and the Mountain of Meat.

It took 32 minutes, and Floss came out victorious. Stay tuned for post-game comments from the Champ himself.

15.50 out of COF's bank account. FUCK YES.