THE HAMBURGLAR

The Floss is ready to take his show on the road. Literally, I'm talking road trip. Currently, I am sitting at home wanting to poke my eyeballs out because everyday here is so boring. Why not road-trip-it? This just isn't going to be a road trip, it's going to be an experience for the ages. The town is Clearfield, PA. North of State College, east of Pittsburgh, 2 hours and 14 minutes from Murrysville. The destination of the trip, Denny's Beer Barrel Pub(http://www.dennysbeerbarrelpub.com/). They are home to the World's Largest Cheeseburger. They have 4 types of challenge burgers, a two-pounder, a three-pounder, the Ye Olde 96'er(6 pounds), and a fifteen pound burger(2 people). They also have over a fifty pound burger and an over 100 pound burger that is 379.95! Picking the burger to eat is the most important decision. I don't care if I win the challenge, I just want a respectable effort. I don't actually think I could make the wall of fame because I refuse to eat all that is on the burger. I don't eat pickles, lettuce, mayo, mustard or relish. Call me a Plain Jane. Their Wall of Fame means nothing to me. In setting this goal, I need to be realistic yet also optimistic. A little known fact about the Floss, in 10th grade I polished off a 1 1/4 lb burger that was a giant. Since 10th grade, I have gotten fatter and wiser. Basically I see three burger options, so I have to pick the best option for me. I think it all boils down to this:

1. The 2-pounder. Obviously the most realistic of the choices. Since it is so feasable, it is therefore not sexy. The Floss is all about sexy. Probability of getting picked: 20%.



2. The 3-pounder. Taking it a pound further. You eat this burger, they pick up the tab. That adds incentive. I would like to think I have a chance at this guy. This is like Rocky stepping into the ring with Drago. I wanna eat this burger and find Adrian at the end. Probability of getting picked: 70%.



3. The Ye-Olde 96er. A 6 pound burger. I could never eat a 6 pound burger(with all the fixins, it is well over 10 pounds). The only person to eat this burger is a 100 pound woman from New Jersey. This goal is unrealistic, however I see some potential. This pick has the potential to be a huge letdown, even eating half would be a letdown. I was thinking about a charity event with this burger, like a dollar for every ounce I eat, but I don't think I could realistically get past three pounds, which basically eliminates this burger. Probability of getting picked: 10%.

This road trip really doesn't require much. I will gladly drive this remarkable journey to Burger Heaven, but I would prefer 3 wingmen to my side. Anyone interested should contact the Floss. I need at least one can of chew, preferably mint or peach(road trip chew). I would need inspiration, signs, cards, posters, words of encouragement, etc. I would also like one of the wingmen to help document this trip because it would make for great blogging.

Three Pounds of Fun.

PITT BASKETBALL

Lost in the shuffle with all of the beautiful Pitt football commitments has been the overachieving Pitt Panthers basketball team. Since the Steelers HAD been playing well, I really wasn't too concerned with the Pitt basketball team, but I'm right back with them. They are in the middle of a terribly tough 5 game stretch(@ Duquesne, W, @ Washington, W, Oklahoma St., W, Duke @ MSG, and @ Dayton). I did not expect the Panthers to win those 3 games. They have a great it factor with this team. I am starting to trust Levance Fields more and more to win this team any game. Sam Young has developed into a much more polished jump shooter and a scorer for this team. Mike Cook and Ronald Ramon provide some senior leadership. But this team's real heart and soul is the BIG guy in the middle, Dejuan Blair. He is going to own Duke in MSG. This team is going to shock the college basketball world Thursday, when the realize that Young-Blair-Fields is a better nucleus than Paulus-Nelson-Singler. Pitt pulls a HUGE upset Thursday, 77-72.

TILA FINALE

The end is in sight for Tila, as she picks who ultimately gets the shot at love. After last weeks huge letdown, airing a stupid unseen moments show, MTV is giving us the finale Tuesday. Down to Dani and Bobby, she will make the choice of man v. woman. It was shocking to see the 2 favorites last the whole way and be in the finals against each other. Dani has been the front runner for weeks now, and the Floss ultimately thinks she will win. The Floss and every other man in America should be pulling for Bobby however.

Look for a Pitt football recruiting update this week along with a Tila recap, and maybe even a blog about the burger.

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