ROL-NBA

This is the silver anniversary edition of the Floss, post 25. I can't believe it happened so slow. Today's update is going to combine my new found love and respect for the NBA with my current love and respect for ROL(Rock of Love 2). Note: The 2 NBA games today, Magic v. Celtics and Lake Show v. LeBrons were awesome and what the NBA can be. I will compare the women on the show with some current and not so current NBA players. Before I begin I would like to point out that I am so happy that none of these girls are actually going to have a relationship with Bret. My dream of ROL3 and on will continue and Bret's assendence into Hef's mansion will happen.



THE VETERAN WITH THE NEVER ENDING EXPIRING CONTRACT: Two ladies fit this bill. Naturally they are the 2 old hags on the show, Catherine and Payton. Both of these women are sticking around for their veteran qualities that the show needs. Bret needs to keep around these old heads to keep a little sanity in the house. He also wants them around because they are actually his age. You could compare these two to the never ending NBA veterans that play on over half the leagues teams and once played for a team that doesn't exist anymore. Theo Ratliff comes to mind here because his contract is currently being paid by 3 NBA teams to an extent. The Hawks, T-Wolves, and Celtics are all dishing out money to him. Other notable NBA'ers to wear out their welcome: The Davis brothers, PJ Brown, and Damon Stoudamire(recently bought out)

THE PLAYER IN HIS FIRST SEASON UNDER A NEW CONTRACT: These are the players who are just starting to make a name for themselves and then are awarded with a big long term deal. The teams that pick out the stars from busts are the teams that get rewarded. The two girls in this category are Jessica and Aubry. Aubry and Jessica are virtually unknowns on the show, but are both still around in the final 10, which is more like a final 8 because of the two bad veterans. These girls have the chance to be the next Kevin Martin(24 a game this year, 1.8 mil, jumps to around 5 mil next year) or the next Kenyon Martin(10 and 6 getting paid 13.2 mil). These girls are both in prime position to have a breakout episode especially Jessica. She has flown way under the radar and she hasn't stepped on any toes yet. I expect one to flop from this group and one to shine. Other notable NBA'ers on both sides of the flop and shine: Kwame Brown(5 and 5, 9 mil), Hedo Turkoglu(19 and 6, 6.3 mil a year), Darko Milicic(6 and 5, 6.5 mil a year), and Derek Fisher(12 points plus the leadership, 4.3 mil a year)

STILL A MYSTERY, BUT NEARLY A SURE THING: There is only one girl that fits into this category, Ms. Megan. She has won Beauty and the Geek, so you know she can perform in the reality TV world, but can she win ROL2? She has the skill set for this game, but can she keep bringin it on the high level? Everyone knows she is the best looking girl on the show, but everything she has done has been quite average. All the scouts also know that on her game, she can win this whole thing. Best NBA comparison: Brandon Roy

UNSUSPECTING PERFORMER: I really want to point out this girls knack for producing while being size challenged. David West is undersized by NBA standards probably only standing 6'8 and playing power forward competitively in the West. Inna is actually too big. She is not skinny, not fat, but not skinny. This girl continually brings her A game. She can do a split while being a bigger girl. Impressive. Bret actually called her his "Ukranian tank" tonight. Anytime you call a girl a tank and still want to bang 'em, its impressive. Best NBA comparison: David West

CRAZY, BUT STILL MAKE AN NBA ROSTER: Much like the NBA comparisons for this category, she has made many men or GM's happy. Already married twice and no doubt under the age of 25, she has been around the league for quite a while. Kristy Joe came into tonight a favorite and almost left before the episode was over. When she dropped the bomb that she was legally married, I thought her tour had ended, but Bret kept her. She is good enough to play and stay in the league but the main question is how long. Ricky Davis has been a constant eff up his whole NBA career, but the numbers don't lie. Half of his seasons in the league(5 of 10) he has averaged over 15 points a game. He also averages around 4 boards and assists per game as well. This year he is at 14, 4, and 3 playing for the miserable Miami Heat. Much like Ricky Davis, Kristy Joe can bring it on any given night. Fun fact about Ricky Davis, the night before he recorded his first triple double, he was out drinking Peroni beers until 5 AM. Only in the NBA.
Other NBA comparison: Ron Artest but he's too easy.

COMING ALONG NICELY LATER IN THEIR CAREER: In the NBA careers don't last long all that often, but players usually don't get it going until year 3 or later if they are a late bloomer. This girl pissed me off and I wanted her gone week one. She has been moving up the power rankings faster than people jumping off the Pitt basketball bandwagon(Slutgers, really?). Ambre has been very impressive lately. She got some alone time last week, stays out of everyone's business. She has been the consummate pro. In the looks department, she isn't probably one of the top 5 looking girls but isn't ugly either. I'm comparing Ambre to Chris Kaman. Kaman is probably the top center in the West, but he plays for a bad team. It took him a while to get to his current high level of playing(17, 14, and 3 blocks). He is top 5 in rebounding and blocks. I don't think she can win this competition, but at least she will be probably the only one not needing therapy after this is all over. Other NBA'er: Joe Johnson

TOP BALLERS FOR NOW AT LEAST: It is way too early to put any of these girls at Kobe or LeBron level, but for now their are 2 clear cut favorites. Those girls would be Destiney(Floss' pick from day uno) and Daisy. These girls currently could be compared to any NBA superstar on a bad team that isn't an MVP candidate. They have what it takes right now, but neither of them have got to the next level. Both of these girls are a little off the rocker, but Bret can definitely "vibe" with that. They also are crazy enough for him to actually have a relationship with. Right now these 2 have the best chance at winning this thing, but a lot could change. NBA'ers to compare to: Michael Redd, Al Jefferson, Gerald Wallace, and Dwayne Wade.

For now this is all. I can't even begin to describe how I feel about the performance put on by the Pitt Panthers this weekend. I also could not talk Pitt football recruting too much because LOI day is so close and a lot of banter will occur between now and then.

I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD

If you wanted a rant, this may be for you. I have been searching for something to rant on for a while now, but this morning I realized it. I realized it when I googled "ways to get deferred from giving blood". Today is a blood drive at school, and the Floss is supposed to give blood in order to win some stupid trophy for his fraternity. Giving blood might not be a big deal for a non big boned man such as the Floss. The fat on my arms makes the blood sucking vampires(BSV's from now on) unable to find a vein to insert the needle. If this happened once then maybe I'm just being a bitch about it, but this happened more than once. 3 effin times the BSV's missed my vein and had to pull the needle out. The one time, I actually gave them like 3 to 4 oz. of blood, but she realized that I wasn't going to give the necessary pint within the next decade, so she pulled the needle out. Then I got to come home and have a huge black and blue bruise all over my arm for a few days. Again maybe I am being a bitch about this, but shit I just don't like giving blood. Not too mention that I have a somewhat rare blood type and they always call me to give blood. I think the real problem could be the talent level of the BSV they bring to high schools and universities. It's bullshit, don't force students to give blood twice a year and they bring us the third stringers. Third stringers is a compliment, they are more like NBDL players. I want the star BSV's, maybe at least some up and coming prospects. I think a real way to also solve the BSV's problem is to not make them such c-words. Seriously, there are ways to hide your terribleness at drawing blood. If they brought in some hot looking girls, I probably would take the bruises on my arm as a man. I'm not talking super models, just some hot girl(preferably one with a lip ring*) that you can dream about while she is poking you with needles. It probably isnt good to find girls that poke you with needles, but who cares. So I'm not discriminating to only hot girls, I will throw another one out there, grandmothers. You can't get mad at an old grandmother lady that is a saint. I'm talking the white haired, cheery, friendly, kind grandmas. Not the grandmas who hate kids. I have never seen either of these types of women at a blood drive. The BSV's are always between 25 and 45 and are most definitely single. Not once have they ever tried to be even somewhat hospitable to anyone. The last time I went, the BSV reeked of cigarette smoke, which made me even more nauseated. The nicest thing they may do is bring you a drink, but the BSV probably spit in it. I know people need to give blood, but until the get some lip-ringed BSV's, count the Floss out.

*(Note: The lip ring is seriously the new sexiest thing a girl can have. It isn't even trashy anymore, in the Floss' opinion. Not everyone looks good with a lip ring, but it is certainly cooler and sexier than the fake jewel nose rings girls have. I could see lip rings become the belly button ring of the 2010 decade. Stay tuned.)

SAM THE MAN

Sam Young is a beast. He is the 4th leading scorer in the Big East this year, and he could win league MVP if Pitt can win the regular season title. He would be an even better player if he killed all the BSV's today. He scored 26 in Pitt's 81-57 win vs. St. Johns last night. He was 3-6 from three and had ZERO turnovers. Last night was an all around great performance by Pitt. An easy game this Saturday at the Pete vs. Rutgers, then the schedule gets tough. LETS GO PITT

Hugs and Handpounds People

YOU CAN HATE ME NOW

Way too long for an update, so I hope this one will do. The Floss has been busy celebrating a huge Pitt win, battlin' a stomach flu, blacking out to an embarassing Pitt loss, crying over the AJ Alexander decommit(he's a moron FWIW), and honoring one of the other good doctors. I figure I wanted to make some BOLD statements about the current year, 2008. The Floss is big on lists and this most certainly is 2 lists. Ima break this down into the top 8 to hate and the great 8 this year. The order is most certainly descending in order of importance. I was going to go with the hate first to end on a happy note, but due to fan demands(fof), the Floss is starting good and ending mean. Strike up the band...

(Note: A lot of this list deals with sports, I apologize for the non-sport people, but eff you)

GREAT

8. Kenny Chesney: Chesney has a 10 stadium stop tour this summer again. He will be back at Heinz again. I have missed the last 2 Kenny's at Heinz. I will be attending on June 14th. Tailgating around Heinz Field is a dream. The Pirates will be worthless by June 14th. Kenny is a perfect reason for a summer tailgate. Best part of a summer tailgate, a summer cooler talk.

7. Kobe Bryant: KB24 as the Floss likes to call him is resurging basketball. I am still on the Atlanta Hawks bandwagon(first ever Floss, tear), but I am on the KB24 wagon right now. This Lakers team has a chance to win the West. Last night Kobe went 16 minutes without a shot attempt and the LakeShow was up 10+. This is the Andy Bynum-less Lakers too. Kobe is bringing the NBA back like Justin brought sexyback(no homo).

6. Will Smith: I was thinking about the last good movie I saw and I thought of I Am Legend. I thought about how I hated Will Smith in the early days of his acting career(minus Fresh Prince), now I'm very on his bandwagon. I Am Legend was awesome and so was Pursuit of Happiness. Will Smith isn't the Kobe of acting, but he is a late bloomer, see Willie Parker.

5. Brent Musberger: One of the New Years Resolutions was to not gamble on sports, but Brent might get me to break that one. He is Mr. Gamble. If you are a gambler, you can notice all of his betting innuendos throughout a broadcast. Honestly, not so much in basketball, but in college football he gives the spread within the first 10 minutes. In college basketball, lines are too close, but he loves brining up favorites and dawgs.

4. Levance Fields: Call me crazy, but this Pitt basketball team is the best team they have had. I have thought this about many a Pitt team, but I am much harder on this team than any before them. When Fields fully returns, look out Loretta, this team will be hard to stop. Write this down, Pitt will get over the Sweet 16 hump. More on this later.

3. Sidney Crosby: Haven't really talked much hockey, but the Floss is back on the Penguins bandwagon(I may have used bandwagon 10 times already). Injuries suck and with the Kid down for 6-8, many are worried about the Pens, not the Floss. Genoooooo Malkin will start to get some much needed notoriety after his All Star snub. Jordy Staal and Ryan Whitney will turn it up for this team. Again when Sid comes back, look out Loretta. The Pens will go to the Eastern Conference finals or further. Write it down. More on this again.

2. Dave Wannsteadt: Do you see a theme here? Injuries hurt. The Pitt football team had a terrible injury plague this past season, and it took them a long time to get comfortable. We have all seen the excuses, but '08 is the year. This is cliche, but Wanny finally has a team that can play a pro style offense and players that fit in his defense. Wanny is going to have a great '08, but he will also be an early hero of '09 when he wins a game in January '09. Write this down.

1. Bret Michaels: Even Bret is skeptical about finding love on this season of Rock of Love, therefore his TV career will probably continue. He has given college students around America a new show each semester, so he will be back fall '09. The girls this season are hotter and dumber than before. Can you imagine the fall '09 ladies. At this rate, we could be in for a treat. I know Bret is getting old, especially in Rock and Roll years, but I think I have a solution to the end of his Rock of Love career. VH1 will never quit airing the show, but what better job for Bret to handle at the end of his career then to take over the PlayBoy Mansion for Hef. Seriously keep talking about who is taking over for Bowden and Paterno. Who's taking over for Hef? Bret Michaels. So after Rock of Love 21, Bret gets Hef's job. Boom.

HATE

8. Jamie Lynn Spears: It isn't her fault she is in the public limelight because of her failing sister's career and her terrible mother, but it is her fault she got pregnant at 16. She was dumb in that regard. I really don't feel that bad for her because she is just another 16 year old pregnant girl. She is just going to be all over tabloids that shouldn't focus on her being the sister of a now irrelevant sister. Note: I think I am so bitter because I loved Britney especially when she was hitting me baby one more time. I think the fallout of Britney's career hurt me. I couldn't put her on this list, so eff you Jamie Lynn.

7. Terrelle Pryor: He committed to Pitt a long time ago, and thats where he should go. I am jealous of this guy's career, but I am sick of it. He ruins my days because I get to hear about rumors about him coming to Pitt. Now with Charlie Batch as his advisor, I actually think he might come to Pitt. I hate the way he handles this process. Sad fact is that if he signs with Pitt , he will move to number 1 on the Great list, and then we can just talk about national titles 365 Flossin' days a year.

6. John Kemp Starley: Who the eff is John Kemp Starley? He invented the modern bicycle. I hate bikes. They have always pissed me off. The other day I got nearly run over by a guy on a bike, then he went on the road with the cars. Really there isn't a place for bikes in this world. Mountain bikes can go in the mountains because you will never find me there unless the ghost of JK Starley comes and takes me there. Sidewalks, not Sidebikes. Walk on sidewalks people. Roads are for cars. Water is for boats. I could keep going.

5. Chris Hanson: He does do a lot of good catching pedofiles, but he could be a little more friendly. Honestly, he entraps them to catch them, so their punishments aren't harsh enough. He makes them feel like shit, but really he is the one that fucks it up. I think people might read into this the wrong way, but people get caught on his show and then they go be pedofiles again because he ruins the case against the pedofiles. It doesn't make much sense, but I just don't like him.

4. Jim Burr: Jim Burr is a reason I wouldn't want to bet again because he always seems to know the line to. He keeps games way too close to the spread. The real reason I'm worried is that he has been unkind to Pitt in the past, and he will continue to hurt the Pitt basketball team. He was pitiful in the Seton Hall game. Refs aren't supposed to be noticed, but everyone watched him invent the makeup call. The makeup call makes sense in theory, but just think once he effs up once, he must continually make bad calls in order to make them up.

3. Ryan Scheckler: He has a reality show on MTV. He is probably one of the top skaters in the World. He can basically get any girl from the ages of 16 to 22. Yet he gets a reality show to cry like a little girl about his life problems. Did I mention he is a millionaire? This kid sucks real bad. Give the Floss a show before Ryan Scheckler.

2. Hilary Clinton: I know I didn't want to pay any attention to the election, but as soon as I saw her win a state in a primary, I had to get involved. She cannot run this country. I would hate to see a woman as a president. She is fake as hell. She just stood by Bill because of this election. Apparently she won't win this election because if she was closer, more hating her would be out there. The Floss is going to Canada if this c-word wins the election, even the democratic ticket would suck.

1. Eli Manning: Just like Terrelle Pryor, he could go to the other side of this list if he wins the SuperBowl. Favre could have lost the SuperBowl, but he would have made me much more excited for the game. I have always hated Eli because he will always be compared to Big Ben. Now that he might be seen in higher regard hurts even more. I'm putting that behind me because I want the Pats and their fans to cry themselves to sleep at night. Eli won't win and that is why he made the hate list. I HATE ELI.

The Floss is too nice to end on a hateful note, so here a some pictures of this weeks Maxim cover girl, Heidi Montag.
http://www.icelebz.com/celebs/heidi_montag/

"I JUST WANT TO KISS YOUR FACE"

DISCLAIMER: This entry is being rushed because I need to go sit in line to get a good spot in the Oakland Zoo tonight. I was going to put in the afternoon nap, but over 2 fans asked where the entry was for today. So I threw in a rub and here I am. I really planned on waiting until Tuesday for this update, but I'm keeping the fans happy.

If you don't know what the title is referring to, then you just DON'T KNOW. Rock of Love 2 started last night and was a huge hit. I am not going to give detailed rankings like I did for American Gladiators because all you need to know about last night is A+. Bret Michaels is way cooler than any athlete or other rockstar. Also, as far as sidekicks go, BIG John is a man's man as well. As far as VH1, they also get an A+ for the women they brought to the show. They are much hotter than last season. Not as many tatted up girls, just smokin hot bombshells. They also brought a great melting pot of women for Bret to chose from. They brought chicks from every decade. The 45 year old chick, Catherine, is pretty slammin for 45, god knows Bret isn't picking her, but she will be everyone's favorite by show 3. As long as she isn't an annoying c-word like Rodeo from season 1. I might boycott the episode when Rodeo comes back because she was that annoying. Inna, hopefully pronounced IN-YA, because if it is, the line I wanna get IN-YA pants has to have been said to her over 100 times. Did you see the split she could do? That alone was an invite to the final 8. Kristy Joe is the germaphobe who wouldn't slip the toungue to Bret. She is playing the hard to get angle, a very rare type on this show. It will propel her til about the final 10, then she will tell Bret how she is falling for him, slip the toungue and bam final 4 for Kristy Joe. Early prediction is Kristy Joe final 4, mark it down. The Floss' favorite is currently Destiney. I like strippers, and with a name like Destiney with the -ey, she's done it before. I actually envision her goin to a strip club and having to be Destiney with the -ey because Destiny was taken. The early favorite of the people is clearly Megan. She is the hottest. She won Beauty and the Geek on MTV though. That signals RED FLAG to the Floss. She is clearly a reality TV cunt not in it for the right reasons. Bret will see this and get her out earlier than people believe. The only reason he keeps her a long time is because she seems the most sane and is gorgeous. The worst girl on the show is by far Ambre. She thinks that this show is the goddamn Bachelor. It isn't, to win Bret Michaels heart, you don't try and be classy. You need to be slutty. Bret went classy in season one and look how that went for him. He wants sluttier this time around. Daisy is another early front runner because she has a bangin body and some tattoos. Bret digs tattoos and will keep her around a while. She does define butterfact though. The girl with no chance is most definitely Angelique. She is the French girl who can't speaky no English. She was the first girl to show her boobs, which prompted the line of the night from Bret Michaels, "The first set of boobs is like a trailblazer, like Lewis and Clark". That is sheer brilliance from the MAN. Two girls that went home who were great last night were Erin and Sara. Erin was the black girl with the afro. She was a VIP girl that went home on night one because of her profound intelligence. She had another one of the better lines of the night, "I learn a lot about what's going on with the World through MySpace". Seriously, she should have just screamed that she had skeletons in her closet. The other girl who went out guns a blazin was Sara. When she got there, she immediately realized that the season 2 girls were way way hotter than season one and that she was probably 18, 19, or 20 on the hottness power rankings. So she decided to get blackout drunk and not make the elimination. Her family was not pleased to watch the season premier last night. Bret also had some great lines to the girls last night. He finds one thing about the girl and says it makes him real hot for her. I hope next week this may happen, "Man, she has 6 toes on one foot thats hot, I love sucking toes and 11 is always better than 10". I just can't wait for next week, it's going to be awesome again. Sidenote: This upcoming weekend I hope I get drunk enough to drop the "I just want to kiss your face" line. I figure nothing else works, maybe if I'm drunk and she's drunk and a Bret Michaels fan, this can work. The only tough thing is, Bret and I don't have much in common except that we both love the Steelers.

FUCK YOU ROY HIBBERT

Tonight is a huge game for the Pitt Panthers. I hate Roy Hibbert with a passion. He owned Aaron Gray way too many times. Tonight he is going to get owned by a 6'6 C, Dejuan Blair. If the refs keep Blair out of foul trouble, he should have a big game tonight. Pitt is really good at home and Sam Young is playing way too good right now. We are going to win tonight. Matchup wise it's going to be tough. They are a lot bigger than us, but the home crowd should be awesome. Rumor has it that Terrelle Pryor is coming to the game tonight. I am fully aware it is probably because it is a big game and nationally televised. He is coming with 2 Pitt basketball recruits as well, Lamar Patterson and Zeke Marshall. There is also a rumor that he recently met with Jamie Dixon and Uncle Dave. Shady committed last year at the Georgetown game, coincidence, I think not. As far as the game at hand, I'm saying Blair with 15 and 15, Young drops 20+ again, Benji puts in 10, Ramon hits a game clinching 3, and Mcghee gives 7 to 8 quality minutes with 4 points and 4 boards.

PITT 72
GTOWN 67

PI-TT

Big home game today for the Panthers. We went 1-1 on the road to start up conference play. I for one, expected that start before the year started. Road Big East wins are very hard to come by. Today we take on the New Jersey Butt Pirates at the Pete. When talking about the state of Pitt basketball with a friend recently, he summed the season up for me quite simply. "This team will definitely make the tournament, they are good and they are REAL good at home". This was a fact that I knew was true, but someone other than myself saying it, it just sounded perfect. This Pitt basketball team with injuries is still a top 20 team and I will go out on a limb and say they are TOP 10 at home. Everyone is better at home in college basketball, but Pitt is REAL good at home. It makes sense, but all the players shoot the ball like they are shooting into an ocean. We score more at home and the crowd helps our defense. The Butt Pirates are one of the Big East bottom feeders, and Pitt will show them what the hell is up today. It's Saturday morning and I'm still riding a buzz, but I smell Monday upset. Today though, no problem for the Panthers. Pitt beats the New Jersey Butt Pirates and wins the AJ Alexander sweepstakes. What a weekend.

PITT 86
New Jersey Butt Pirates 69

EVERY ROSE HAS ITS THORN

I knew I was going to write an update today covering the Pitt basketball team and the new Rock of Love premiering Sunday night at 9. Bret Michaels would be proud that I am using his song lyrics to describe the Pitt basketball team. The Floss has been lacking in creative titles lately, but this title fits the Pitt team perfectly. Last night during the Pitt-South Florida game, TNT was symbolically showing the movie "The Replacements". The thorns of Pitt's basketball team the past 3 years have been more often than not 3 players, Keith Benjamin, Sam Young, and Tyrell "not so" Biggs. Keith Benjamin has given sub par bench minutes for most of his career and he really hasn't had a high point in his career until now. He is averaging 18 points per game and over 30 minutes since entering the Pitt lineup. Sam Young was the "black hole" of the Pitt offense last year. Once you gave him the ball, you weren't getting it back. Understandably, he was just trying to make a push at more minutes over garbage man Levon Kendall last season. Now he is having the best year of his career averaging over 18 points a game. He has developed his jumper and his driving game to a nice level. If he continues to improve, he could be scary good. The final thorn who is still quite thorn-like is Tyrell "not so" Biggs. Biggs has finally started to go into the paint lately. It seems that Coach Dixon(might as well be the White Rose) finally just told him that he is not a shooting guard. Although Biggs still thinks he has a polished jump shot, he has finally put his 6'8 250 lb frame into the lane. In the last three games, he has got offensive rebounds, put backs, and finally some points in the paint. Dixon gave him the mantra they give big kids in 3rd grade, "See, isn't it easier to make layups than 3 pointers". Seriously they should have this conversation daily.

Some other thoughts from last nights win:

Gary Mghee playing his first meaningful minutes of the year. He played awesome in limited minutes. He scored 6 points and had a handful of rebounds. Mghee proved that he can play serious minutes if Blair goes into foul trouble. What was more impressive was how well he plays on defense. He moves his feet exceptionally for his size. Wish we had Cassin Diggs scholly for DeAndre Kane or Travon Woodalls.

Ronald Ramon is still a thorn on this rose. His defense is not too bad, but his offense and ball handling leave a ton to be desired. I still am confident that he will get his 3 point stroke back and will probably win us a game this season. He will still go down as one of my favorite Pitt players.

BRET'S BACK

Rock of Love 2 is back this Sunday at 9. Woo hoo. Rock of Love is better than Tila. I am thoroughly pumped for Bret to be back on TV. I don't know much about the cast for the show and I want to be surprised on Sunday, so there isn't much of a preview to talk about. All I know is with Bret being the man that he is, I hope that at least 66.666666% of the cast has stripped or is currently stripping somewhere.

Thirsty Thursday is dedicated to strippers and Bret Michaels

NEW SEXY SIDELINE REPORTER

While I was watching the WVU game, I noticed a new sideline reporter and I just wanted to give her a little love Floss style. Her name is Laura Okmin. She works for FOX Sports Net and actually has a background covering sports. Since she works for the worst network on TV, here's to hoping she gets snagged up by a major network such as CBS or ABC. Sorry for the picture, apparently she gets all of her sexy ones removed from the internet. Shits wizzzzeeeeeakkk.

AMERICAN GLADIATORS BROTHER

Much like the rest of the 18 to 30 demographic, I was tuned into American Gladiators. I was not overly excited for the return because I don't really expect much from NBC shows. NBC is the ho hum of the network tv world. ABC and CBS have the big name shows that get the viewers. FOX has came up with enough reality tv shows to be re run until global warming ruins the Earth(over 60 degrees on Jan. 7th) and have only had one succeed(American Idol). NBC just tries to fit in with their tv shows. They are like the 6 hitter in baseball lineups. They are the in between guy, sometimes they hit like an 8 hitter, sometimes like a 3 hitter. NBC can give some production, but can't be counted on to be the power 3 hitter or the stud cleanup hitter that ABC and CBS are. NBC did a good job of promo-ing American Gladiators. They did plenty of commercials during the 2 playoff football games Saturday. I'm going to break the show down into parts and throw out some ratings on the A through F-(only the Floss pulls that off) scale since it is back to school time.

HOSTS BROTHER

Hulkamania is back. He was miserable. I don't care what anyone says. He makes the show have a cheesy FOX feel. Maybe I pay to much attention to show value, but I get really frustrated with shows that give off that cheesy feel. I still love Tila, but I expect more from the networks. He said "dude" over 10 times last night. "Dude" would have been more relevant for the first American Gladiators in 1988 or BOF(Birth of the Floss). I might take heat for this, but Hulk was lame. He should focus on his divorce and his son.

Laila Ali was Hulk's sidekick for the show. NBC was smart to have a backup plan for when Hulk got old. She didn't appear it seemed until 20 minutes into the show, but she stole the show in my eyes. She should get more tv time and Hulk less. She was good not great, but next to Hulk anyone could do good.

Lets root that the season finale of American Gladiators will involve Laila and Hulk competing against the gladiators. This won't happen on NBC(ho hum), but FOX would put Simon Cowell out there for ratings.

FLOSS RATING: C-

CONTESTANTS BROTHER

I don't want to get too much into each contestant because they weren't that interesting. A NYC fireman won the first event. NYC firemen is always the good guy. Since 9/11, NYC firemen and policemen are everyone's favorite people(deservedly so). He dominated the whole competition. I can't imagine NBC was too happy about his 16.5 second lead going into the Gauntlet. Sidenote: The half second for every point you are up is a bullshit way to do the whole show. Anthony completely dominated 3 events and should have all but been handed the Gauntlet. He was almost screwed by the dumb rules. The women in the first competition was interesting because the first girl apparently tore her ACL in the first competition, so they brought in the Venus Flytrap(Floss Nickname). She made a valiant effort to eventually defeat Koya the Destroya(Fans Nickname) in the Gauntlet. These chicks sucked and neither could win the whole thing. The next show had two "dudes" that were less than stellar brother. Molivann was a 5'8 155 pound little guy who ended up beating a washed up guy who was stuck in traffic 14 years earlier on his way to an audition. I know Pittsburgh traffic isn't exactly LA traffic, but really with such a big opportunity, how could you let traffic interfere. The only thing I took from the girls competition was the legitimate shot that the winner of the girls challenge has at being a real live American Gladiator. Bonnie, a retired Marine, looked and played the part of an American Gladiator. Look for her to win this thing.

My problem with their selection of the contestants is that none of them were physically imposing like the Gladiators. Apparently the Gladiators are allowed the juice, but the contestants aren't. It just isn't as competitive this way. Another problem I had is how they picked everyone with cheesy background stories. This show isn't for the single mothers of the World. The real audience of the show doesn't give a flying F about their kids or life profession(unless they played pro football or another sport).

FLOSS RATING: C

GLADIATORS BROTHER

The gladiators overall performed poorly. When I imagine American Gladiators, I expect sheer domination. They lacked that "holy shit, they're GOOD" factor(see '07 New England Patriots). They didn't have that, not anywhere near total domination. They should have beat the crap out of their smaller counterparts. Plus, they all looked like they were on 'roids. Act like your on 'roids. I also blame NBC for not giving Justice(6'8 290) more publicity on the show. His only competition, he shot a gun from a pedestal. In that competition, they should have used Jimmy, a deer hunter from PA who had about 12 PBR's(Pabst Blue Ribbons) in his system. He woulda picked off both those fools. I will give out some MVP's for the Gladiators. For the men, it was Wolf. He was cool and actually gave a shit. He has good show value. I will also give props to Toa because he has a cool look and gimmick about him. For the women it was an easy choice, Crush. She has looks and skill. She is legitimately good looking and not that intimidating on the outside. Then on the show, she was a fiery competitor who did better than the other girls. Good job to her. She will most definitely get a Playboy offer, take that to the bank.

FLOSS RATING: B-

EVENTS BROTHER

This is where NBC really messed up. Not nearly enough new competitions, no creativity, no real excitement, just nothing really. They kept a lot of the old school stuff and put in minor twists. 20 years has passed, they could have done better. The Pyramid competition is nearly impossible for the contestant, way too tough. If the gladiator is the superior athlete, how hard is it for them to just throw them back down the pyramid. The rock climbing wall competition is dumb as well as the rings competition. Assault, the gun challenge is really flippin' dumb. The Hit and Run challenge was the talk of the town yesterday for how easy it was. The gladiators are basically isolated in this competition as they throw balloons at the competitors. If you army crawl the whole way, you won't lose. There were some good events, Joust is an old favorite. Earthquake actually puts strength into question and is pretty cool. Gauntlet is pretty cool because it is another physically demanding challenge. My favorite competition is Power Ball because it encompasses speed, quickness, strength, agility, athleticism, basically everything good. Overall they just lacked creativity, which was painfully disappointing.

FLOSS RATING: C-

OVERALL BROTHER

Well brother, American Gladiators is here, but it will not be staying long. This show's ratings will drop soon and plummet far down eventually. NBC ultimately choked on this show because of how much buildup it had. The show failed in giving the show a real makeover. It had most of the same events and didn't have enough changes. I like the gimmicks that some of the gladiators have, that can be built on and help the show. Hiring Hulkamania was a huge mistake for this show. They need to get some former football players on this show to get some interest and America talking. Do you know how I know it didn't succeed? Because if it was a hit, ESPN would have at least given a 30 second clip to the show. That was my litmus test for American Gladiators. NBC would be well advised to sell its idea to SPIKETV or VERSUS. Those networks wouldn't have the budget, so bye bye Hulk and maybe Laila, but it would be much less bullshit. Those networks would bring the Gladiators back into it. While SPIKE is at it, they should bring back SlamBall.

FLOSS RATING: C

The story of mostly everything NBC does, it was just average. Have fun in the 6 hole NBC.

PITT FOOTBALL RECRUITING UPDATE(LONG)

When I last updated on Pitt football recruiting and gave my top 10, the date was November 15th. A lot has happened since then. The Brawl victory coupled with the committment of Killa Cam Saddler, Shayne Hale and Jonathan Baldwin, it has been good times for Panther fans. I feel that this is Uncle Dave's best class, but I could say that any year. It is a small class, but it packs a major punch. Pitt is in a scholarship crunch year because they have taken around 50 kids the last 2 years and don't boot kids from the program early(Texas). The Panther class seems full, but Pitt is still inviting a ton of players to this weekends basketball game versus Seton Hall. To update you on where we stand I will briefly list the Pitt commitments, position, and star average between rivals and scout(since Bob Pitt Lichtenfels most certainly bumps Pitt Panthers).



Already enrolled and ready for spring ball:



Greg Cross JUCO QB *** and a half stars

Robb Houser JUCO C ***

Ronald Hobby WR/DB ***



Committed not yet signed



Jonathan Baldwin WR ****

Tino Sunseri QB ***

Zack Stoudt QB ***

Cameron Saddler WR ****

Kevin Harper K ***

Chris Burns RB ****

Mike Cruz TE/DL ***

Lucas Nix OT *****

Antwuan Reed CB 3 and a half

Mike Shanahan WR 2 and a half

Ryan Turnley OL 2 and a half

Manny Williams LB/S ***

Shayne Hale MLB 4 and a half



For those of you who can't count, that is 16 commitments. Pitt is rumored to have at least one spot left with as many as 4 spots left for more players. Out of the Floss' top 10 gets from November 15th, Pitt has nabbed only no. 1, 7, 8, and 10. However, Shayne Hale would have been number 2 on that list had he actually shown interest. The others on that list you ask, no. 2 and 3 were LB's Steve Gardiner and Doug Rippy. They would each have not been so high had Hale been involved. Rippy made a weird choice with Colorado, and the Big 11 called Gardiner with a greyshirt offer from OSU. A 4 star LB prospect is really going to settle with that offer probably. I wish he would come here. However, can't hate a kid for going to his favorite school. He is taking an official here this weekend, Uncle Dave might be able to sell him. No. 4 on the list was Hubie Graham, TE from Scranton. He chose the Fighting Illini. Kind of a surprising pick, but after watching Nate Byham not get thrown the ball and Illinois turning into a B11 power, I don't blame him. No. 5 was Averin Collier, he wants to play running back so he went to Syracuse. I can't blame a kid for staying close to home, but 'Cuse is in terrible shape. At least Pitt is sticking by there underproducing coach that brings in recruits. GRob at 'Cuse isn't going to last there long. No. 6 was Jarred Holley, he is still open on his recruitment with Pitt being the leader currently. His top 3 are Pitt, Iowa, and Virginia. Never will we lose a kid to Iowa, but UVA is scary. If he visits UVA it will be hard to keep him a Pitt lean. I still think we get another 4 star corner, booyah. No. 9 was Terrelle Pryor, he has done good not bashing Pitt in the media, but he should just bash them once and for all. I feel bad that he has all this pressure to stay close to home and play for the Panthers. No way he comes here. I just hope he doesn't go play for DickRod at scUM. Seriously, I hope Michigan never wins another game in the B11. I HATE Rich Rodriguez. I will be a Penn St. homer before I root for that jerkoff.



Tomorrow for the Seton Hall game, Pitt has visits lined up for 9 uncommitted players to visit campus. I will break them down into categories on their chance of getting a remaining ship.



WE WILL LET YOU SLEEP WITH ERICA NICKELS IF YOU COME TO PITT:

AJ Alexander: He is the only one in this heralded group. This kid plays at a loaded position, but I don't care. He ran a 4.31 40 twice this past summer. As Uncle Dave says, "we run faster".

Steve Gardiner: With Dorin moving to TE, LB is more of a need position. This kid had 140 tackles this season. He was the 3rd fastest player at the Pitt combine this summer. I sure hope Uncle Dave can pull this out.

WHY ARE YOU EVEN COMING HERE?:

Vaughan Carraway: He is a stud WR, and would give us another top WR in the state of PA. He is a very solid prospect and could fill out to an OLB(gasp). I think he may be too good to pass up somehow.



GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES, BEG, AND YOU CAN PROBABLY GET A SHIP:

Isaiah Pead: Solid corner prospect. Division 3 POY in Ohio. This kid is probably the backup plan to Holley, but I really like this kid as a prospect. I feel he could really help the team. I think he will end up at WVU. He was originally committed there. Indiana has an outside shot b/c they are in the B11.

Danny Vaughan: I think of him as a Danny. He can play DE or TE. I didn't think he was very good until I watched him play on TV in the state title game. He really needs to commit quick. If he commits, Pead, Carraway, and maybe even Gardiner don't have ships.

WHY IS WANNY TAKING YOU TO DAVE AND BUSTERS?:

Dominick Britt: I think he could have a scholarship if Stoudt decommits for Louisville. I would not be happy about taking him as a 3rd QB. He is a hell of a prospect because of his size. In a year with 25 ships, he would definitely get one.

Justin Virbitsky: With Cruz committing and Vaughan being higher on the list, his visit makes no sense. He has virtually no offers. I really can't believe we are letting him visit.

Joe Trebitz and Jeff Hutchinson: Both are one star prospects from Florida. They are the most expensive official visits. These 2 have no chance at a scholarship. It's a numbers game gentlemen. Enjoy all the free shit though.

Basically, where Pitt stands now is a good spot. This is the first year Wanny really has to worry about scholarship numbers, so I hope he handles it like a pro. It is tough to tell kids no, but he might have to tell a lot of them no. Really it is their fault. In todays World of recruiting, why wouldn't you commit really early? If you are a borderline prospect that might only get 2 to 3 BCS offers, why not commit early? Coaches will still recruit you and you can always de-commit. De-committing isn't even a big deal any more. Just don't ever de-commit without a backup plan. If Ryan Turnley or Ronald Hobby waited to visit now, they would be in the same boat as Danny Vaughan.

Now at 16 scholarships, we have 4 maximum spots left. I think we will fill all 4 spots. Who do I think those 4 will be? I think it will be AJ Alexander, as early as Monday. Penn St. sucked with Alexander. I have no idea why they didn't recruit him harder. Probably their arrogance that they would get Deion Walker. I sure as hell hope Kenny Tate goes elsewhere. Jarred Holley will be a kid that commits soon or LOI day. Sidenote, how bad does he suck at playing the recruiting game? He is the only kid who really seems he doesn't care where he goes to school. He better love Pitt considering he doesn't even want to check out UVA. The last 2 spots I believe going to Josh Jenkins and Vaughan. I said it, Jenkins will be a Panther. This would honestly be one of Uncle Dave's most impressive gets, considering his ranking, position, and where he is from. I know OSU is the leader, but I'm betting on Wanny. He is going to come to campus on January 18th. Dave is going to introduce him to the new O-Line coach Tony Wise. Wise will in turn tell him about how he will get him to the NFL. Jenkins will talk to Luke Nix and JB. He will realize early playing time and the programs upandcomingness(great word), and fall in love with Oakland. The last spot, I'm going to say Danny Vaughan. He is the safe pick. I don't know if Danny will end up with the last spot, but I hope so because Danny Vaughan has a cool name and keeps the pipeline going. I wouldn't mind if Tags took his place either, although he is held up on Louisville. I have no idea why anyone would go to Louisville, it is a shitty shitty city. Of course I'm going to hold out hope that Pryor ends up at Pitt. The only way this probably happens is if he gets arrested or some kind of huge life altering event that keeps him in Pittsburgh. I for one am rooting for this to happen.

Prediction for 2008 record, 10-2 with a BCS bowl loss.

THE MIGHTY LEOPARDS

First off, Happy New Year, as the "GREAT '08" is upon us. I wanted to give a preview of tonight's Pitt vs. Lafayette game at the Pete. Usually, the last non-conference game for the Panthers is a meaningless win, and we all know where the team stands. This year it is quite different. With the recent injuries to Cookie and Fields, the Pitt team is left very depleted at guard. I have no idea how the team will fare tonight, I can't even give a prediction on how they will do. All I know is that if Ronald Ramon needs to get out of his senior year slump. He should call up Julius Page and do exactly the opposite of what JP1 did for a whole year. Wannamaker, the Floss is calling for you to be big. I will reserve judgement on what this team can or cannot do. As for a prediction, I am going to go with the mascot theory. A panther could kick a leopard's ass. A panther would maul a leopard, and then procede to turn the said leopard into 14 pairs of women's underwear. I'm done.

PANTHERS 71

LEOPARD 57

WINTER CLASSIC

Much has been said about the resurgence of the NBA lately, but hopefully the NHL will make a comeback too. Yesterday's hockey game had even my mom excited. The ice conditions were terrible which made the hockey less attractive, but everything else about the game was superb. NBC brought out big time announcers, national television, and they put the game's biggest star center stage. I bet NBC was pleased to say the least with Crosby netting the game winner in a shootout. The NHL gets a big A+ from the Floss for what they did yesterday.

LETS GO MOUNTAINEERS

The West Virginia Mountaineer's will play in the Fiesta Bowl tonight against the Oklahoma Sooners. I am rooting for the Big East in this one. The Big East has been an incredible disappointment so far in bowl games, going 1-2 with its only win coming against Southern Miss. South Florida really layed the ultimate egg on New Year's Eve after losing by 35 points to Dennis Dixonless Oregon. I am rooting for WVU and not turning my back. I don't know if I will watch the game because physically it is impossible to actually root for those thugs. I also hope Steve Slaton rushes for 400 yards and declares for the NFL draft, same for Patsy White. Normally I would hope for a 2 year injury to Noel Devine, but I know all of the kids and trouble he can get into in one offseason. The line in the football game is only 6.5 points to the Mountaineers, which is ironically the same line as the over/under for Devine arrests this summer.