ROL-NBA

This is the silver anniversary edition of the Floss, post 25. I can't believe it happened so slow. Today's update is going to combine my new found love and respect for the NBA with my current love and respect for ROL(Rock of Love 2). Note: The 2 NBA games today, Magic v. Celtics and Lake Show v. LeBrons were awesome and what the NBA can be. I will compare the women on the show with some current and not so current NBA players. Before I begin I would like to point out that I am so happy that none of these girls are actually going to have a relationship with Bret. My dream of ROL3 and on will continue and Bret's assendence into Hef's mansion will happen.



THE VETERAN WITH THE NEVER ENDING EXPIRING CONTRACT: Two ladies fit this bill. Naturally they are the 2 old hags on the show, Catherine and Payton. Both of these women are sticking around for their veteran qualities that the show needs. Bret needs to keep around these old heads to keep a little sanity in the house. He also wants them around because they are actually his age. You could compare these two to the never ending NBA veterans that play on over half the leagues teams and once played for a team that doesn't exist anymore. Theo Ratliff comes to mind here because his contract is currently being paid by 3 NBA teams to an extent. The Hawks, T-Wolves, and Celtics are all dishing out money to him. Other notable NBA'ers to wear out their welcome: The Davis brothers, PJ Brown, and Damon Stoudamire(recently bought out)

THE PLAYER IN HIS FIRST SEASON UNDER A NEW CONTRACT: These are the players who are just starting to make a name for themselves and then are awarded with a big long term deal. The teams that pick out the stars from busts are the teams that get rewarded. The two girls in this category are Jessica and Aubry. Aubry and Jessica are virtually unknowns on the show, but are both still around in the final 10, which is more like a final 8 because of the two bad veterans. These girls have the chance to be the next Kevin Martin(24 a game this year, 1.8 mil, jumps to around 5 mil next year) or the next Kenyon Martin(10 and 6 getting paid 13.2 mil). These girls are both in prime position to have a breakout episode especially Jessica. She has flown way under the radar and she hasn't stepped on any toes yet. I expect one to flop from this group and one to shine. Other notable NBA'ers on both sides of the flop and shine: Kwame Brown(5 and 5, 9 mil), Hedo Turkoglu(19 and 6, 6.3 mil a year), Darko Milicic(6 and 5, 6.5 mil a year), and Derek Fisher(12 points plus the leadership, 4.3 mil a year)

STILL A MYSTERY, BUT NEARLY A SURE THING: There is only one girl that fits into this category, Ms. Megan. She has won Beauty and the Geek, so you know she can perform in the reality TV world, but can she win ROL2? She has the skill set for this game, but can she keep bringin it on the high level? Everyone knows she is the best looking girl on the show, but everything she has done has been quite average. All the scouts also know that on her game, she can win this whole thing. Best NBA comparison: Brandon Roy

UNSUSPECTING PERFORMER: I really want to point out this girls knack for producing while being size challenged. David West is undersized by NBA standards probably only standing 6'8 and playing power forward competitively in the West. Inna is actually too big. She is not skinny, not fat, but not skinny. This girl continually brings her A game. She can do a split while being a bigger girl. Impressive. Bret actually called her his "Ukranian tank" tonight. Anytime you call a girl a tank and still want to bang 'em, its impressive. Best NBA comparison: David West

CRAZY, BUT STILL MAKE AN NBA ROSTER: Much like the NBA comparisons for this category, she has made many men or GM's happy. Already married twice and no doubt under the age of 25, she has been around the league for quite a while. Kristy Joe came into tonight a favorite and almost left before the episode was over. When she dropped the bomb that she was legally married, I thought her tour had ended, but Bret kept her. She is good enough to play and stay in the league but the main question is how long. Ricky Davis has been a constant eff up his whole NBA career, but the numbers don't lie. Half of his seasons in the league(5 of 10) he has averaged over 15 points a game. He also averages around 4 boards and assists per game as well. This year he is at 14, 4, and 3 playing for the miserable Miami Heat. Much like Ricky Davis, Kristy Joe can bring it on any given night. Fun fact about Ricky Davis, the night before he recorded his first triple double, he was out drinking Peroni beers until 5 AM. Only in the NBA.
Other NBA comparison: Ron Artest but he's too easy.

COMING ALONG NICELY LATER IN THEIR CAREER: In the NBA careers don't last long all that often, but players usually don't get it going until year 3 or later if they are a late bloomer. This girl pissed me off and I wanted her gone week one. She has been moving up the power rankings faster than people jumping off the Pitt basketball bandwagon(Slutgers, really?). Ambre has been very impressive lately. She got some alone time last week, stays out of everyone's business. She has been the consummate pro. In the looks department, she isn't probably one of the top 5 looking girls but isn't ugly either. I'm comparing Ambre to Chris Kaman. Kaman is probably the top center in the West, but he plays for a bad team. It took him a while to get to his current high level of playing(17, 14, and 3 blocks). He is top 5 in rebounding and blocks. I don't think she can win this competition, but at least she will be probably the only one not needing therapy after this is all over. Other NBA'er: Joe Johnson

TOP BALLERS FOR NOW AT LEAST: It is way too early to put any of these girls at Kobe or LeBron level, but for now their are 2 clear cut favorites. Those girls would be Destiney(Floss' pick from day uno) and Daisy. These girls currently could be compared to any NBA superstar on a bad team that isn't an MVP candidate. They have what it takes right now, but neither of them have got to the next level. Both of these girls are a little off the rocker, but Bret can definitely "vibe" with that. They also are crazy enough for him to actually have a relationship with. Right now these 2 have the best chance at winning this thing, but a lot could change. NBA'ers to compare to: Michael Redd, Al Jefferson, Gerald Wallace, and Dwayne Wade.

For now this is all. I can't even begin to describe how I feel about the performance put on by the Pitt Panthers this weekend. I also could not talk Pitt football recruting too much because LOI day is so close and a lot of banter will occur between now and then.