HICCUP

Well, Dr. Of and the Floss are in Cincinnati right now. In the Sigma Chi house in their computer room. Easily nicer than anything in my home, his home, or any home on the east coast. The place is a frat castle. The Floss was told tonight that the "Steelers Suck" multiple times. Multiple times. Seriously multiple times. Dr. Of is a fan of multiple times. We shoulder surfed some brothers to get into this room. Dr. Of completely stole this password from one of our Cinci bretheren. "I should get a joint and toast this room up"--Dr. Of. "That would be the worst thing ever"--Floss. Sadly, no climax to this story that we actually aren't smoking right now. We are actually combined 68 beers deep, rough estimate. A light estimate. The Floss put down a half a handle of Old Crow on the way out and in another car Dr. Of put down a half of Heaven Hill. To call us the kings of bourbon/whiskey wouldn't do us justice. The whole place here is unbeleivable, Lil Wayne for president, like the song says. We don't know where to sleep. Under computer desks? I don't know. Are servers warm? They feel it from my tootsies. The Floss has no clue how much ridiculous is being spewed right now. Other than this is post number 91. 91. Hiccup. 91. Hiccup. 91. Honestly, the Floss has felt nervous as to how the last (hiccup) few posts would go up (hiccup) til 100. 100 is a milestone. Milestones (hiccup) are hard to come by. You don't hit one every day...unless you are Jamie Dixon, aka the new Coach K. JD (hiccup) (hiccup) is the best coach in college ball right now (hiccup). I know (hiccup) CINC loves (hiccup) Elliot Williams, but he couldn't hold Nas (hiccup) Robinson's jock if he (hiccup) the same (hiccup) (hiccup) minutes. (cough) The best team in the country (hiccup) resides in Oakland (hiccup) motha fuckers, the Pitt Mother (hiccup) Fucking Panthers. Basically (hiccup) the whole point of this (hiccup) blog was to tell you about the (hiccup) Pitt Panthers. It might have (hiccup) steered (hiccup) off the beaten path a bit (hiccup), but we know who number (hiccup) 1 is!!!!!!!

SATURDAY MORN RUNDOWN

**LeBron, 55 last night. Get some kid. The Floss was asked if he would be the one athlete I could spend a day with. My response: Cam Saddler. Thank you very much.

**Just saw on Sportscenter that a woman is competing in the Bass Masters Classic. How many problems does the Floss have with this? A million point five. FISHING IS A SPOBBY FOR MEN ONLY. Men can't play woman's basketball. Same thing. Women have no right to participate in fishing. I guess they should start calling it Men's Fishing, but because of Title 9 they will probably have to add another shitty woman's sport.

**Last night on the Pitt bus at around 10:15 PM EST, a bunch of Penn St. students started "We Are"...Huge Gays chants, except they used their Penn St. lingo. They fit every stereotype of Penn St. faggots, loud, guido, obnoxious, etc. Then they started a "Steelers Suck" chant, then I realized that they were the worst kind of Penn St. fans, Philly ones.

**Speaking of the awful city to our west, big game on the ice today against the Fly guys. A win today would be ginormous. Believe in Bylsma. Copyright FalseFloss Inc.

**The Floss really likes Texas tonight, so if you have any money you should play Oklahoma. Also like Davidson with Curry going for 40.

Happy Saturday.

Floss

TOUR DE COURT

The Floss gathered this past weekend with Dr. Of, CINC, TAFKATB(The Artist Formerly Known As TruthBrush), and CED(Coach Ed) at a local establishment. The meeting wasn't meant to discuss the Floss' new eating challenge, but when I brought it up, the table got pretty excited. The challenge wasn't nicknamed at the time but "Tour De Court" is now the official name. Hopefully the Floss can work out a sponsor for this event, but as of now we aren't selling out to GEICO. The challenge is such: The Floss will attempt to eat a "meal or appropriate serving" of an item from all restaurants in the Monroeville Mall Food Court within a specified time limit(2 hours seems right). As Dr. Of told me, you never know if you are being scouted by Travel Channel or Food Network. Some other ideas thrown around were wearing a T-Shirt with all of the restaurants on it with empty open boxes on it. Compare this to a LOI day T-Shirt or sign made. Some things the Floss would need are financial backers, which everyone at the table Saturday already basically volunteered to cover one of the restaurants. The Floss would need runners to go get the food as to not get distracted or call up some dinosaurs. Obviously as the Loyal Followers of Floss, I can't wait to hear your opinions. The Monroeville Mall has 11 eateries from which to eat, so it will be a tough challenge. Scouting the competition(ranked on a scale of 1 to 10, and not in a sequential order):

DAIRY QUEEN- The Floss argues that this shouldn't be a part of the challenge, but everyone else agreed that it should. The item would be a small Blizzard. The Floss would probably get Reese cups with chocolate ice cream. This could be a big problem. I would probably attempt to eat this later in the process due to having a fear of what milk might do to the insides.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 7 OUT OF 10

MRS. FIELDS- The only thing to eat here would be a delicious Mrs. Fields cookie. The cookie is dense, but it is also the smallest of all the items. Basically Mrs. Fields is the stat builder of the bunch. The cherry picking layup if you will.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 1 OUT OF 10

THE POTATO SHACK- This place might not even be called the Potato Shack anymore. The name may have actually changed, but the item here would be a regular order of cheese fries. This could be considered a stat builder at all, but cheese fries can be very very filling. Also, fries are apart of 2 other places. One of the places, the Floss is least excited to tackle.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 8 OUT OF 10

THE CHINESE PLACE- It used to be called Manchu Wok, but the name has since changed. Nonetheless, it is a plate of General Tso's and some rice. One of the best eats on the menu in the Floss' eyes. Plus Far East food tends to take up no room in the stomach. Is this a reason that all non Asian basketball players are short? Maybe.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 4 OUT OF 10

UNCLE CHARLEY'S GRILLED SUBS- Never ate here. Basically a crapshoot here. We all guess that they will have some sort of a 6 inch Cheesesteak to go at. So that's what the Floss expects, but really it might taste like poo. A serious threat on the tour.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 11 OUT OF 10 (Uncle Charley's is as hard to read as Gil Brown)

THE CAJUN CAFE- A very underrated meal in the food court. They also have the most aggressive sample ladies around. The meal here is the one meat one side combo. It is the number 1 there I believe. They have a mean bourbon chicken that I plan to grub up. The side dish will probably be rice since rice is light and airy.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 3 OUT OF 10

SBARRO- Pizza is something tough in the grand scheme of things because of the carbs. The one large slice of pizza with pepperoni will be a tough out in the Tour. It isn't the largest meal out there, but the Floss thinks Sbarro is highly overrated. This might get put out of the way first.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 8 OUT OF 10

SAKKIO- The Floss' favorite place in the mall hands down. The last two times I've been there, the triple meat has been ordered. No veggies here for the Floss cause their veggies suck ass. Yes extra extra sauce on this one.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 1 OUT OF 10

CHICK-FIL-A- The Floss can eat a chicken sandwich and waffle fries at any point of the day really. Plus they have really solid barbecue sauce for the sandwich.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 2 OUT OF 10

SUBWAY- Subway just doesn't remind me of a food court style meal. I don't know why, maybe because it is fairly healthy. The meal here is a 6 inch hoagie. No clue which one to go with. Early favorites are probably roast beef and meat ball. Subway has really thick bread which could make this a very costly trip on the tour.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 7 OUT OF 10

FLAMERS- Another food court establishment the Floss has never tried. They seem to have nice specials all the time. The food looks good and it is the only burger on the menu for the day. The portion size will be a concern, but one cheeseburger never hurt nobody. The fries here better taste good or the third serving of fries could hurt.
LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 5 OUT OF 10

OVERALL DIFFICULTY: 9 OUT OF 10

As Big Ben and KG say..."ANYTHING IS POSSIBLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE"

-Floss

SHOWDOWN IN STORR'S

This is the first ever blog on location. Currently the Floss is watching the Pens 3rd period at FOF's apartment along with PnR. Now before we get into the day's blog topics, the Floss would like to give a shoutout to all the fans. The fans are currently participating in a way that makes blogging worth every second of time. Julie, you have officially been granted the Floss nickname of FFFOF(First Female Fan of Floss). Never thought we would get past FOF and FFOF, but it's a great day. I have no idea who you are and the Floss really wants to know. PnR, FOF, and the Floss all are worried that you may possibly be a serial killer, nevertheless thanks for being the first female fan. Also, I hope you take all of my negative, sexist remarks about females with a grain of salt. Another thing to get excited about is that this is currently post 88 on the FalseFloss. Taking suggestions for ideas for the Century Post. WhildCratch I also would love to know who you are and if you are a serial killer, but no big deal either way. As for what tattoo the Floss would get, it was decided a long time ago what tat the Floss would get. First the Floss would need to go to the gym and get his back really really jacked, then the back would get Naired. The tattoo would be the skyline of Pittsburgh covering the whole upper back.

ROL UPDATE

I think we have 9 people left on ROL. We have 7 of the Original Hoes and the 2 new bitches. No summary of last night really needed, the Mud Bowl III happened and that ruled. These power rankings are once again the Floss' views not FOF, PnR's, Bret's or Big John's. The Floss' rankings:

2,173,809. Beverly- She sucks more than anyone left. Complete agreement from the room on this stupid cunt. Bev is a dyke, still not hot, and provides nothing. Zero for the show. FOF, "She went from being boring and not being fun, to bitching about people being fun". PnR, "And she has broader shoulders than James Harrison". A good defensive cooridnator in Mud Bowl III would have lined her up as a 3-4 rush end.

8. Jamie "Brooklyn"- Embarassing that we had to look her name up and she is in the top 10. She is the tall, skinny broad who looks like she does a ton of blow. Can't believe Marcia went home for her.

7. Kami- There was no need for comments from PnR and FOF on Jamie. FOF was able to point out that Kami had the bigger tits of the two which got her ranked 7th. An absolute shame that she is here over Marcia.

6. Farrah- A consensus pick for the number 6 pick. FOF thinks she should be grouped into the grouping with the others as does PnR. The Floss thinks she deserves a little more credit due to her partying ways and big boobs. She still sucks. Farrah might single handily ruin the show next week if she indeed engages in lesbian contact with Kelsey. If Farrah gets Kelsey the boot, she would move way way behind Beverly. FOF and PnR share the same sentiments on Farrah if she ruins Kelsey's ride. Farrah has been a lesbian from day one. Her and Ashley definitely have double clicked eachother's mouses a few times on the love bus.

5. Taya- "For posing nudey in magazines, Taya isn't doin it for me"-PnR. FOF appreciates her classiness and not getting into the chippiness(hockey mode) amongst the bus. "Since she posed nude plus is classy she fits the rap lyric, lady in streets, freak in the streets"(paraphrase)--FOF. Great insight from my linemates(hockey mode, again). FOF probably thinks she should be higher, but the Floss says no dice. One of the weirdest faces left, just not cute or sexy. Taya really doesn't do it for the Floss.

4. Ashley- Actually all agreement here. Ashley got the dick first, which is pretty cool. She is such a bitch that it's starting to get on the Floss' nerves. It used to be funny that she would party all day long and hated on bitches, but it just got old. FOF and PnR think that she is too dumb. I guess they think the others are Rhodes scholars. "She thought she should have won MVP of the Mud Bowl III from the losing team, not how sports work lady"-PnR. Not too mention I think if you look at the tapes, I think her knee was down when she picked up the ball.

3. Brittanya- The Floss loves her name. The Floss loves her dimple rings. The Floss loves her sleeve tat. The Floss loves her boobs. Really if she could speak the English language or produce a thought, she would be number one. Brittanya can't be classified as dumb because she doesn't say anything. Brittanya would be that stripper that can't even talk dirty. She would get the initial lap dance, but couldn't keep you begging for more. "She's that dirty, sexy girl that you could never bring home to mom cause she has tattoos all over her body, that shit on her cheeks, but you still wanna have sex with her so bad. You could never have a relationship with her"-(Paraphrase) FOF. "I'm going the other way, she's the perfect wife. You get to fuck her, but she would never talk to you"--PnR. Interesting.

2. Mindy- "Not sure how I feel about her accent"-FOF. The Floss hates it. I hate, hate, hate, hate her accent. Something has to be said for how she has brought it the past couple weeks. Clearly the MVP yesterday in Mud Bowl III. The leopard print worked for the Floss. The room all liked her at number 2. Not many comments. No one thinks she looks like a gopher in this room.

1. Kelsey- She has never wavered from the number one spot. I'm not even going to write about her. She is gorgeous. We are worried with her lack of one on one time with Bret.

The Pens just lost. FUCK FUCK FUCK. At least they got one point.

SHOWDOWN IN STORR'S

In order to prepare for tonight's fucking awesome matchup between the number 4 ranked (number one in your hearts) Pitt Panthers and the number 1 team UConn Huskies, FOF, PnR, and I have decided to watch the 2003 Big East Tournament Championship Game between the Pitt Panthers and the UConn Huskies OnDemand. A great afternoon is in store. No breaking down of matchups for tonight, just some important thoughts:

**Blair must stay out of foul trouble. Every basketball fan knows this. The Floss is worried about Blair staying smart with his fouls tonight. On his IPod should be a Jamie Dixon, Tom Herrion, and Brandin Knight recording saying "Play Smart, Don't Reach, Play Smart, Don't Reach, Double Quarter Pounder".

**2003 Panther Starting Lineup, PG Brandin Knight, SG Julius Page, SF Jaron Brown, PF Donatas Zavackas, and C The Big O Ontario Lett. Compared to today, they don't even compare.

**Fields is way too slow to guard AJ Price, so Jermaine Dixon has a huge assignment tonight. Fields will get Craig Austrie instead of the now injured Jermaine Dyson.

**Sam Young must show up. The Floss sees a posterizing dunk on Hasheem Thabeet tonight. Like one my kids will talk about.

**20. The number of points the Floss believes the bench needs to put up tonight or any night. Wannamaker, 9. Gil, 6. Ash, 6. Gary, 2. 23 off the bench in that scenario.

**0. The number of turnovers the General Levance Fields will have tonight.

**"Could see a Brandin Knight 2003 BE Champ performance by Fields tonight. I like to think Fields and Knight hang out every night and watch old games like this"--FOF. I like to think that too.

**Jeff Adrien needs to be controlled tonight. He can't get a 15 and 15 night on us. Biggs has to play good D on him.

**Look for some 2-3 Zone out of the Panthers tonight, especially when Thabeet is out. It will keep us out of foul trouble, plus make their guards hit shots. I will take Kemba Walker jacking threes on us.

**I hope Pitt doesn't double the post tonight. Thabeet is too tall to double. He can make passes in the post too.

**The Floss really wants to watch this 03 title game more, so here comes the prediction:

PITT 72
UCONN 63

PI-MOTHA FUCKIN-TT

WEEKEND'S HERE

PENS

The Pens showed they aren't going down without a fight again last night with a gritty 2-1 SO win over the San Jose Sharks. The Floss only got to see the Sidney Crosby game winner, but a win like that just shows the Pens aren't dead. The biggest win might be that Sergei Gonchar is CLEARED TO PLAY. This is HUGE for the Pens. If he can be ready for the last month of the season, that certainly puts us into the playoffs. The letdown this year should have been seen when the Pens lost Ryan Malone and Marian Hossa. Not too mention Sergei Gonchar hasn't been able to play. If we can get hot at the right time, we could make a run in the playoffs. Let's just get there and see what happens.

HOSPITAL

The only other things that shall be mentioned about the hospital are things I said upon awakening at 4AM.

-Nurse, "Do you know where you are?"
-Floss, "Sweet Chin Music" (This happened again)

-Floss, "You know baby, short hair usually doesn't do it for me, but baby you're doin it"
-Nurse, (apalled)

H-O-R-S-E

First of all the fact that this competition sold it's soul to Geico is the worst thing ever. Do you think any of the players will be like you got a GE, no they will say you got a HO, yeah nigga yeah, or something like that. I love the participants of the contest although many people disagree with them. We have an old vet taking on two young bucks. Durant is playing the best basketball of his life right now. OJ Mayo was a good pick because it will get him some pub, same can be said for Durant cause neither are on TV or will make the playoffs. The winner will be Joe Johnson because of his old man tricks. Let's just hope no competitor just shoots like 3 pointers and not crazy trick shots. This could be a huge flop with no trick shots.

VALENTINE'S DAY

This holiday really makes no sense. I got a lot of money in the mail from relatives so the Floss ain't complaining. Any Hallmark holiday that rewards poor drunk college kids is good in my book. The Floss has no Valentine this year and no female readers, so no reason to bother asking.

REALITY TV

Obviously the biggest fad of the new millenium. The Floss also watches the grossly underrated show Tool Academy on VH1. It has 3 episodes left and each one will be better than the last. The premise of the show was just so good. Have girlfriends set up their faggot boyfriends by telling them they made a reality show called Mr. Awesome. These girlfriends are seeing change in these guys, bull effin shit. Wait til they get off the show and people start recognizing them. Fights will be picked and it will just expose tools all over America. The most tool thing they did was get the TATTOO of the Tool Academy logo. And their girlfriends liked it. When the Floss saw this he realized the women are just as fucked up as their dudes.

The Floss has thought about going on the Real World before, but I think I would be a terrible housemate. Although this season would be a great one for me to be on. This season is ridiculous. No hookups yet. So dry. Literally they had to bring in a HE/SHE to make it interesting. You watch Mr. Northeast Ab Man use his looks to bring back hideous black chicks. It just doesn't make sense. Then you have a gay black man. Then a dude who hasn't realized he's a flaming homo(Chet). The Floss would last about 3.5 days before he would get thrown out for being racist, sexist, something offensive. Truth.

A great reality show that was added was Man V. Food. That dude basically lives the damn dream. Go eat in cool cities around the country. Not too mention eat in food challenges. The Floss also thought Bromance was a great show. Reality shows are all over the place for what they need to be successful. Some aspects:

1. Hot Chicks that appear on every episode.
2. Not too many people, things like American Idol have too many.
3. A guy that makes you say, "wow, he rules" every week, Bret and BrodMan had this, you can't root for a woman because they suck.
4. DRAMA(throwing hands in the air), no homo but you need some drama

Other solid aspects would be sports and food references.

WORD V

No reason to make people think the Floss is writing about that awful state that we shit on everyday. The Word Verifications have been hilarious. Huge, huge idea by Dr. Of who may have had the funniest line when he said he uses oregano three times a day. That should have been changed to three times before 2. Please use the Word V's when commenting. While the Floss is browsing the comments to answer your questions this was his Word V: Ulacreep

Just imagine Floss at a large party with a lot of ladies. The Floss is grinding on some ho, then it goes like this.

Floss: What's your name? (Hears "Ulacreep")

Floss continues grinding.

HIGH PRESSURE WINDS

Happy Birthday to the B Man who has quit reading the Floss. Is it any coincidence that we have had hurricane force winds the past few days? I think not.

STOP NOT POSTING YOUR ID YOU FUCKS

Someone asked 4 questions in succession, but didn't leave their name, but here goes even though I hate them:

1. No update on Wentzgate.

2. Would the floss prefer a trip to the Big East Championship or Cancun over Spring Break?

Had this conversation before with a friend from the State Penn. This year the Floss takes Cancun due to him being roughly 11 years old, but next year when the Floss is a big boy, he's going to NYC. The only problem is that next year, the squad might not be as tough.

3. When is too early to start talking about the spring game?

It's never too early to start talking about the Pitt Panther's and the spring game. The Floss won't put it into blogs until about a week before spring practice, which will fall right around the first round of the NCAA hoops tourney.

4. What does the floss think of Mr. Shenanigans sleeping in the third floor laundry room at Bates Hill?

Par for the course for friends of Floss. It doesn't top hospitals or jails which have both happened within the past two months. Nor does it top an elevator.

DANICA PATRICK

First off, Danica Patrick and other female athletes posing in magazines is awesome because it makes us laugh more at the term "female athlete". She works on cars and does butchy stuff like that. She has no cans. Looks fresh out of a trailer park. This works for Gretchen Wilson, but not Danica.

DOUBLE NICKEL

Huge fan of the name change. You also win the word verification contest although you did get one served up on a silver platter. You are an idiot because Dr. Of's Oregano is just that Oregano. Duh.

WHILDCRATCH

Thanks for being a fan of the Floss. I truly don't believe that you are just a fan cause I don't know how one would begin to find this gem of a blog. The Floss welcomes your support, but would also enjoy to find out how you found the FalseFloss.

GAMBLING

Thanks to DDP(L) for giving me a reason to run down the All Star weekend picks. Some of these the Floss won't actually play, but just which way he's leaning.

SOPH(-5.5) OVER ROOKIES

EAST(NL) OVER WEST. LeBron and AI will win it.

NOVA(+4.5) OVER WEST VIRGINIA.

UNDER(138) NOVA/WEST VIRGINIA. STRONG STRONG PICK

PROPS I LIKE

RUDY FERNANDEZ AT +500 in the Dunk Contest. You are getting no value in taking Dwight Howard at -150 plus Rudy is the most unknown. Nate Wash is a fad. If that goofy ass Fernandez throws one good early dunk, the crowd and judges will get on his nuts.

ROGER MASON AT +550 in the Three Point Contest. Another good value. Jason Kopono is favored at +150. Danny Granger has no chance, same with Rashard Lewis, and Daequan Cook. Bibby, Kopono, and Mason are the top 3 here.


MERRY WEEKEND

FANS

Yo fans, I know you have all been checking in lately and commenting much more than usual. For this I thank you. I will be blogging later today so throw me a mailbag esque question. I will look back to previous comment sections and I know the Pens will be addressed along with Valentine's day. Also, would you prefer a late post today or a post when the Floss awakes tomorrow? I know the working folk enjoy their morning Floss.

KICKIN' IT OLD SCHOOL

The Floss needed to be updated, and we are going old school with mini updates rather than going into a full on Floss on one topic. A Floss was needed today after his morning started with him clogging the shitter, 40 minutes before class started. It led to a great job of plunging by yours truly. I have unclogged this shitter twice now, plumbing could officially go on the Floss' resume. So without any further adoo, from the desk of the Floss' with the Skoal in the lip...

PITT WVU

The Queers are coming into the Zoo tonight. The Panthers are 8 point favorites, this could be too much in a rivalry game. However, the Panthers are shooting lights out right now, especially at home. Keep Blair on the court, don't let WV go on any runs and it's game over. Expect Pitt to make it 4 wins in a row against the Eers in sports that matter(football and basketball). Should win by about the number, definitely would lay off.

ROL

A shocking episode by Bret Michaels last night. He invites 3 new girls onto the bus, only 1.5 of them are even remotely close to good enough looking for the tour. A Miracle(one of top 5 greatest sport movies) reference here. Do you remember when the team is 2 weeks from Lake Placid and Herb Brooks brings in University of Minnesota scoring phenom Tim Haar to attempt to get a roster spot? Then Mike Eruzione gives the passionate speech outside the bus that Haar didn't deserve to be a part of the team. Brooks knew he wasn't going to put Timmy on the squad, it still was a great motivational move. The parallels are definitely there. Next week when he drops their asses from the bus, remember the Floss. While this move may have been scripted, the Floss loved the move. Bret made the elimination everyone saw coming when he kicked off the black girl. Everyone knows Bret ain't down with the brown.

FAG BAGS

The Floss got a good laugh when his unbelievably nerdy Operations Management Professor walked in sporting a fanny pack for the last week. I believe the CINC once called them "Fag Bags" and the name has always stuck with me. A little background on this woman, she is a spatial engineer who always brings up her cats. She isn't married and could be anywhere between 28 and 50. A great woman right there. Back to the Fag Bags, are they one of the most useless inventions ever? Possibly. The only use I have ever heard for them was to avoid pickpocketing in foreign countries. What could this woman possibly keep in her FAG BAG? She also carries a purse, computer bag on wheels, cooler size lunch box. She might fall over one of these days, we can only hope. This got me to thinking about bags in general. One of the actual great inventions as far as bags go are the liquor/gym bag. Mr. Shenanigans is always flossin one of these. They are the small strap bags that perfectly can carry a handle of Vlad and 2 liter of your favorite mixer. Plus if you get drunk and forget them, they are like 2 dollars or free at career fairs. It's a great alternative to leaving your bookbag somewhere.

A ROD AND ROIDS

Yawn. Yawn. Yawn. Baseball is dying so fast.

SANDWICHES

The Floss made a trip up to the State Penn this past weekend and consumed a Fat Bitch sandwich. Seriously what is better than a sandwich with cheesesteak, chicken fingers, mozzy sticks, french fries and ketchup? Last week the Floss made his own fat sandwich with ingredients found in his house. It was a 1/2 lb frozen burger with a slice of American cheese, then a ham steak with mozzerela cheese on that, all squashed between some toasted rye bread. How bad does the Floss want his own sandwich? So bad.

SIXBURGH

**O-H motha fuckin I-O. Dat dude. I can't even begin to imagine the blunt that him and Ben smoked last night. It was probably unbelievable.

**If you don't LOVE Hines Ward, you aren't American.

**Best Super Bowl in history. The 4th quarter was scary unreal with the ups and downs and points.

**The Floss' least favorite story line all week was Ben wanting to get his rep back after XL. I think the last drive did times 100. Clutchest dude ever.

**Still not sober, currently should be sitting in Intermediate Financial Reporting 2. My body just feels very messed up.

**My apartment still smelled like smoke this morning due to the bonfire literally two steps from my apartment.

**Bonfire outside the Cathedral last night was crazy. Bunch of dudes burning their clothes and standing there in boxers. The Floss just wanted to help the cause so stripped down right then and there and gave them my undershirt. Some girls may have puked, but at least some of Steeler Nation got to see the sweater vest.

**Hit both prop bets yesterday: Carey Davis over .5 yards from scrimmage and Mewelde Moore's longest rush under 6.5 yards. His one run seriously was like 6.4 yards. Word to ya motha.

**Why did Dan Rooney thank Barack Obama? Didn't see that one coming.

**Mike Tomlin's "Steeler Football is 60 minutes" rant was priceless.

**Larry Fitz got to have an unreal Super Bowl and lose. Dream scenario for the Floss. Honestly, if Ben throws a pick on that last drive, I have no idea how I would feel about him. Our relationship would never have been the same.

**Tone's LeBron mimic touchdown dance was great. However, Steeler Nation knows that it was actually him pouring ketchup.

**Swaggin'. Love it.

**Weird thing to think about if Freddy Francisco doesn't slip on Tone's long catch on the final drive that got down to the 6, the Steelers may have been content with a FG opportunity. He would have got to about the 28 yard line with either one or zero timeouts and 50 seconds.

**James Harrison's INT return was the most absurd return you have ever seen.

**If Ben doesn't lead that drive, how long would you have had to not watch ESPN? A week, a month, forever?

**The final drive honestly makes such a difference from a historical standpoint.

**SIXBURGH, great great name.

**Bruce Springsteen is old and not cool. Why does the NFL market to 55 year old men?

**The Floss wants to see Danica Patrick's tits so much more after yesterday. Skip Bayless and Jemele Hill just said that it tarnished her image. No it made her that much more watchable.

**The E-Trade baby commercials were fan fucking tastic.

**Tone just said that it was a LeBron knockoff on ESPN First Take.

**Overall the greatest day in a long time for the Floss. Words still do last night no justice.