WEEKEND'S HERE

PENS

The Pens showed they aren't going down without a fight again last night with a gritty 2-1 SO win over the San Jose Sharks. The Floss only got to see the Sidney Crosby game winner, but a win like that just shows the Pens aren't dead. The biggest win might be that Sergei Gonchar is CLEARED TO PLAY. This is HUGE for the Pens. If he can be ready for the last month of the season, that certainly puts us into the playoffs. The letdown this year should have been seen when the Pens lost Ryan Malone and Marian Hossa. Not too mention Sergei Gonchar hasn't been able to play. If we can get hot at the right time, we could make a run in the playoffs. Let's just get there and see what happens.

HOSPITAL

The only other things that shall be mentioned about the hospital are things I said upon awakening at 4AM.

-Nurse, "Do you know where you are?"
-Floss, "Sweet Chin Music" (This happened again)

-Floss, "You know baby, short hair usually doesn't do it for me, but baby you're doin it"
-Nurse, (apalled)

H-O-R-S-E

First of all the fact that this competition sold it's soul to Geico is the worst thing ever. Do you think any of the players will be like you got a GE, no they will say you got a HO, yeah nigga yeah, or something like that. I love the participants of the contest although many people disagree with them. We have an old vet taking on two young bucks. Durant is playing the best basketball of his life right now. OJ Mayo was a good pick because it will get him some pub, same can be said for Durant cause neither are on TV or will make the playoffs. The winner will be Joe Johnson because of his old man tricks. Let's just hope no competitor just shoots like 3 pointers and not crazy trick shots. This could be a huge flop with no trick shots.

VALENTINE'S DAY

This holiday really makes no sense. I got a lot of money in the mail from relatives so the Floss ain't complaining. Any Hallmark holiday that rewards poor drunk college kids is good in my book. The Floss has no Valentine this year and no female readers, so no reason to bother asking.

REALITY TV

Obviously the biggest fad of the new millenium. The Floss also watches the grossly underrated show Tool Academy on VH1. It has 3 episodes left and each one will be better than the last. The premise of the show was just so good. Have girlfriends set up their faggot boyfriends by telling them they made a reality show called Mr. Awesome. These girlfriends are seeing change in these guys, bull effin shit. Wait til they get off the show and people start recognizing them. Fights will be picked and it will just expose tools all over America. The most tool thing they did was get the TATTOO of the Tool Academy logo. And their girlfriends liked it. When the Floss saw this he realized the women are just as fucked up as their dudes.

The Floss has thought about going on the Real World before, but I think I would be a terrible housemate. Although this season would be a great one for me to be on. This season is ridiculous. No hookups yet. So dry. Literally they had to bring in a HE/SHE to make it interesting. You watch Mr. Northeast Ab Man use his looks to bring back hideous black chicks. It just doesn't make sense. Then you have a gay black man. Then a dude who hasn't realized he's a flaming homo(Chet). The Floss would last about 3.5 days before he would get thrown out for being racist, sexist, something offensive. Truth.

A great reality show that was added was Man V. Food. That dude basically lives the damn dream. Go eat in cool cities around the country. Not too mention eat in food challenges. The Floss also thought Bromance was a great show. Reality shows are all over the place for what they need to be successful. Some aspects:

1. Hot Chicks that appear on every episode.
2. Not too many people, things like American Idol have too many.
3. A guy that makes you say, "wow, he rules" every week, Bret and BrodMan had this, you can't root for a woman because they suck.
4. DRAMA(throwing hands in the air), no homo but you need some drama

Other solid aspects would be sports and food references.

WORD V

No reason to make people think the Floss is writing about that awful state that we shit on everyday. The Word Verifications have been hilarious. Huge, huge idea by Dr. Of who may have had the funniest line when he said he uses oregano three times a day. That should have been changed to three times before 2. Please use the Word V's when commenting. While the Floss is browsing the comments to answer your questions this was his Word V: Ulacreep

Just imagine Floss at a large party with a lot of ladies. The Floss is grinding on some ho, then it goes like this.

Floss: What's your name? (Hears "Ulacreep")

Floss continues grinding.

HIGH PRESSURE WINDS

Happy Birthday to the B Man who has quit reading the Floss. Is it any coincidence that we have had hurricane force winds the past few days? I think not.

STOP NOT POSTING YOUR ID YOU FUCKS

Someone asked 4 questions in succession, but didn't leave their name, but here goes even though I hate them:

1. No update on Wentzgate.

2. Would the floss prefer a trip to the Big East Championship or Cancun over Spring Break?

Had this conversation before with a friend from the State Penn. This year the Floss takes Cancun due to him being roughly 11 years old, but next year when the Floss is a big boy, he's going to NYC. The only problem is that next year, the squad might not be as tough.

3. When is too early to start talking about the spring game?

It's never too early to start talking about the Pitt Panther's and the spring game. The Floss won't put it into blogs until about a week before spring practice, which will fall right around the first round of the NCAA hoops tourney.

4. What does the floss think of Mr. Shenanigans sleeping in the third floor laundry room at Bates Hill?

Par for the course for friends of Floss. It doesn't top hospitals or jails which have both happened within the past two months. Nor does it top an elevator.

DANICA PATRICK

First off, Danica Patrick and other female athletes posing in magazines is awesome because it makes us laugh more at the term "female athlete". She works on cars and does butchy stuff like that. She has no cans. Looks fresh out of a trailer park. This works for Gretchen Wilson, but not Danica.

DOUBLE NICKEL

Huge fan of the name change. You also win the word verification contest although you did get one served up on a silver platter. You are an idiot because Dr. Of's Oregano is just that Oregano. Duh.

WHILDCRATCH

Thanks for being a fan of the Floss. I truly don't believe that you are just a fan cause I don't know how one would begin to find this gem of a blog. The Floss welcomes your support, but would also enjoy to find out how you found the FalseFloss.

GAMBLING

Thanks to DDP(L) for giving me a reason to run down the All Star weekend picks. Some of these the Floss won't actually play, but just which way he's leaning.

SOPH(-5.5) OVER ROOKIES

EAST(NL) OVER WEST. LeBron and AI will win it.

NOVA(+4.5) OVER WEST VIRGINIA.

UNDER(138) NOVA/WEST VIRGINIA. STRONG STRONG PICK

PROPS I LIKE

RUDY FERNANDEZ AT +500 in the Dunk Contest. You are getting no value in taking Dwight Howard at -150 plus Rudy is the most unknown. Nate Wash is a fad. If that goofy ass Fernandez throws one good early dunk, the crowd and judges will get on his nuts.

ROGER MASON AT +550 in the Three Point Contest. Another good value. Jason Kopono is favored at +150. Danny Granger has no chance, same with Rashard Lewis, and Daequan Cook. Bibby, Kopono, and Mason are the top 3 here.


MERRY WEEKEND