A first for the Floss. His first mailbag. The way this works is, I take e-mails from actual readers and I answer their questions as only the Floss can. Remember these are actual e-mails from actual readers.
(crying) Why do you hate me so much? Is it because of my ugly haircut?
--Ronald Ramon, SG, Pitt Panthers
Well Ronny, if you remember back to your sophomore year, you were my favorite player. The real reason was that my Jaron Brown jersey now could be played off as yours. I thought this was cool up til this season when you have completely insulted the number 4(church-league number of Floss). If you would just make one effing big game shot(WVU=blind squirrel finding a nut) or just play like you did as a freshman and sophomore, I wouldn't be so hostile towards you. The good news is, the Floss forgives, make some shots in the upcoming tourneys. We can re-evaluate where you stand after that. Your hair is embarassing however.
Where should I go to college?
--Terrelle Pryor
Since Tino the Dreamboat is on-board at Pitt for the next 4-5 years, you can take your talents elsewhere. I have said since day one that you were going to be a Nitter. I hope I'm wrong and you shouldn't let JayPa coach you. You also need to make a decision by April 1st. My best guess for what you should do, is enter the baseball draft. You need all the hype you can get.
Are you ever going to come and eat the 3LB burger? Clearfield, PA is waiting. All we have to wait for is the Floss and Penn St. football.
--Denny from Denny's Beer Barrel Pub
Honestly, friends/family of the Floss, if we can get you on board, I'm gonna take down this burger. I have never been so ready for something in my life. I'm in playing shape right now, we just need you, the fans to help me out here.
You drinking with me Saturday? Parade?
--St. Patrick
New Year's Resolution blog. The Floss will effin be there. All he wants to know is if the throwdown with Aimin for Failure and Jah Banni is happening. I wanna go up to Mt. Waershingtun and booze at 7AM, who doesn't?
Yo Floss, you wanna make a guest appearance on ROL 12? Hit me up. Ayo.
--Bret Michaels
(Crying) A dream come true. We both know there is no end to your groupie ass in the future. I would love to be there for ROL 12. Bret, we both know that you can slay any of the remaining girls. The key is to find the one who will not commit. You did it the first time, do it again.
My boobs are not real, but I love them just the same.
--Natalie(Girlicious)
Not a surprise here. The Floss loves them as well. Thanks for clearing that up.
Did you see the bottom line today on ESPN sweetie? San Antonio has signed me through 2011. Our love will have to wait 3 more years.
--Becky Hammon
For the first time ever, something in women's athletics was relevant enough for the bottom ticker. However Becky, by 2010 we can only hope the WNBA contracts and you can come be the trophy wife God intended you to be. Love, The Floss.
Remember to e-mail your questions for the next Floss.
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4 comments:
Good Stuff Floss -
It is tough to be able to get away for a trip to Clearfield. How exactly do I convice GofCOF that I need to spend a whole Saturday on an excurison to Clearfield to watch the Floss (and probably partake myself) in gluttony? Are there enough bathrooms on the way home for that trip?
Your nuts about the Big East Tournament....Lville all the way.
Loving the new segment. Prepare for St. Patty's Day
B MAN
Fantastic emails, where do i send my questions? I hope that Pryor gets so entrenched with himself that he forgets to sign with a team by april 1st and has to play at point park, do they even have a team? as to your previous post, you said u were gonna give a runner up to the coach of the year yet left us all in the dark, cmon you are better than that.
-fof
This is by far the best post yet. Keep it up.
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