The Floss has been speaking about a "secret" plan to reveal why he hasn't posted in forever(still faster than those real people over at the truthbrush), but I lied. The sad excuse is that I had a lot of finals studying to do. Then I had a lot of moving out to do, combined with drinking my face off and going to Happy Valley, not too mention being completely consumed within Pitt Spring Football, the Pens, and the NBA. So here it goes(look for my other write-ups on the Pens and the NHL, the NBA, and the state of Pitt football):
Plans went according to schedule other than RTHB deciding that we should take a long cut to Deer Creek through Penn Hills and Oakmont rather than take the TurnPike like every other American. When RTHB, COF, DROF, and the Floss arrived, we could see the tents. My first reaction was WOW, really testing nature being 20 yards away from our car. The camp/fishing site was only about 100 yards from Pittsburgh Indoor Soccer Arena. The only obstacle in the way was Deer Creek. The creek was about 10 yards wide and about 2 feet deep. From what I had heard before, this creek was a combination of Niagara Falls and Mount Everest in difficulty level. However, all you need is hip waders. Possibly the greatest invention since the wheel or the television. The amazing thing about hip waders is how comfortable they are. I could walk around in hip waders all day. If puddles ever become a problem in Oakland, I'm bringing out the hip waders. What shocked the Floss the most was, that the next morning, after multiple creek crossings and living in muddy, slushy(and meaty, cheesy, syrupy) water for 17 hours, my socks were still dry. Unbelievable. Still dry. Honestly for 20 dollars, hip waders might be the most efficient purchase on the planet. I might paint on some Steeler logos and rock them all tailgate season(if it wasn't dead). The night started out with Tim the HHR making some steak sandwiches on the fire. He even cooked peppers and onions for the steak sandwiches. It would have been nice if he cooked the steak(honestly, the bloodiest steak ever, still great). Then we brought out the radio to listen to Game 2 of the Pens-Sens series. It was a blast to listen to the game, even if we couldn't watch. In case your memory is bad, the Pens win(like every game) on a Ryan Malone wrap around, then he caps it with an empty netter. Then we caught the tail end of a rain delayed Pirates game which ended in a shocking 1-0 win with a Jason Bay homerun. If the Pens and Buccos winning weren't a great sign I don't know what was. After these games ended is when the night started to get blurry. The Floss remembers a blistering rain storm that lasted for under 40 minutes, which was not bad since it was supposed to pour all night. I remember Tim the HHR dropping the line of the night after COF put on his rain gear(yellow jump-suit): "You look like the fag teletubby". Great name drop, but thats why they call him the HHR. The Steelers draft was a big topic of discussion down 'er in Deer Creek. None of us said Mendenhall, but what a great pick that was. The Floss made it through the night after about 6 dips, 12 shots of Old Crow, 12 beers, and a 45 min nap(shits wizzzzzeak). When the morning arrived, we were all drowsy and ready to fish. By the morning, I had noticed many a fishermen had lined up to catch some fish. The morning brought me my first dilemma, go with the old faithful Zebco push button, or with the new fandangled Blue Rod that I do not know how to cast. We went with the old faithful. Since DROF was most certainly drunk and ready to fish, we posted up with about a half hour to go talking about how we both needed to catch a fish. Across the creek were some yinzers who were posted up on a cliff that was probably a 20 foot drop, but enough to be funny if they fell. DROF and the Floss basically made up their conversations for the remaining 30 minutes. Most went like this:
DROF as yinzer: "Dang ol, dang ol, yous know Ima catch da biggest trout today"
Floss as yinzer: "Shoot, I a been out fisherin you for yeeeeaaaaaaaaaarrrsss"
DROF: "Do you want a Busch?(Then he would try to push the actual Floss in the water while distracting him with one of these anecdotes)
So when 8 o clock came, I remember it as not being as New Years Eve as I had hoped. DROF and I casted out into the water. Then the most amazing thing happened, I actually reeled in a trout. The excitement was great, but the Pitt Blue-Gold Game was next weekend, so we didn't get too far ahead of ourselves. But the flood gates were open on this morning, everyone caught 5+ fish, none of them much bigger than the others. I don't even know what else to say about opening day of trout. It was just awesome. Nothing too crazy happened. It was just a great day. Maybe next year someone will fall into the water or off a cliff. I don't know. For now the Floss is just ready for a great fishin' season.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Friday, April 11, 2008
FISHIN' FOR PENGUINS(PART DUECE)
The weather sucks out tonight, good thing the Pens play indoors. Sadly being unable to watch the game, the Floss will be listening on his crank radio and relying on text messages which will be sent to his cell phone in a ziploc bag. DROF and the Floss managed to keep it pretty low key last night. We both broke the no liquor rule, but no hangover for me today. DROF a mild hangover, so all in all we are quite ready. The only problem in the forseeable future is that we dined at Golden Corral for lunch today. For those of you who don't know, it is a buffet where the food goes out as fast as it comes in. A long night in the woods with irritable bowels could lead to worse fishing and a mean Floss. DROF and I were supposed to buy "bait rags" for the gang tonight, but upon going to the local bait n tackle shop, we were laughed at and told to use old rags from home. I did purchase a 15 dollar full rain gear suit. The package looked really legit, but it was another example of getting what you pay for. I should have stuck with garbage bags. The trip was not a complete waste. Behind the backs of COF and others, DROF and I decided to pick up a handle of THE Old Crow whiskey for the trip(Why sail with the captain when you can fly with the crow?). Honestly, 3 30 packs for what looks now like 17 hours(7-12) of drinking in the rain. We thought you were better than that COF. For the fans who are Pitt students or wannabe Pitt students(B Man), when you wake up tomorrow look for the Victory Lights to be on at the Cathedral signaling the shark that the Floss has reeled in. GOOOOOOO FISHHHHH
GAME DOS
What a game one for the Pens? Could you have asked for a better start. 2 goals from the 4th line. Malkin got off to a hot start. Sid didn't need to do anything, and we still got a W. Physically we sent a message. Fleury got his confidence sky high. The penalty kill was awesome, killing 2 partial 5 on 3 situations. Game dos will be a different game though. Ottawa is probably going to come out very fired up after the game one ass-whooping. I see a tough one tonight for the Pens. I'm saying the Pens win on an OT goal by Jordan Staal. He has been coming so close. It's almost like why not him tonight? 2-1 in OT. LETS GO PENS
GAME DOS
What a game one for the Pens? Could you have asked for a better start. 2 goals from the 4th line. Malkin got off to a hot start. Sid didn't need to do anything, and we still got a W. Physically we sent a message. Fleury got his confidence sky high. The penalty kill was awesome, killing 2 partial 5 on 3 situations. Game dos will be a different game though. Ottawa is probably going to come out very fired up after the game one ass-whooping. I see a tough one tonight for the Pens. I'm saying the Pens win on an OT goal by Jordan Staal. He has been coming so close. It's almost like why not him tonight? 2-1 in OT. LETS GO PENS
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
FISHIN' FOR PENGUINS
With warm weather starting to rear it's beautiful head, that can mean only one thing, it is spobby(sport+hobby) season. This Saturday kicks off trout season. Fishin', which ranks as the Floss' number 2 spobby(1. Golf, 2. Fishin, 3. Softball) will begin at 8 AM sharp on Saturday morning. For all of you who know the Floss', his family, and friends, starting at 8 AM clearly wouldn't make sense. Now, for the fishing afficianado's out there, our lines will not be in the water until 8 AM, but the fishin' adventure will start much earlier. How much earlier? 15 LONG hours. At approximately 5 PM on Friday, COF will pick up DROF and myself. Who else will accompany us? Jah Banni(http://jahbanni.blogspot.com/2007_04_08_archive.html, blog of last years adventure), RTHB(Red Titted Hoss Bear), Mick(50 years young, much respect), Rick(COF and Jah Banni's co-worker, only met once), and Tim the HHR(read the other blog for details, Rick's step-father). Since the Floss basically only picked up fishin' last year out of pressure from COF, this will be his inagural trip.
Last night, thanks to the B Man, the Floss was able to get the main necessities for Saturday. They included a brand new fishin' pole, some line for the pole, hip waders, and a fishin' license. The funniest part of the trip was trying to find the right hip waders. Little did DROF or the Floss know, there was a difference between the waders with the foam on the bottom and the ones without. Since we both picked the waders with foam on them, it led to an interesting convo.
DROF: "We just rip this foam off once we take them out of the bag?"
Floss: "Yeah, It probably just keeps them packed better"
DROF: "Okay, thats what I thought"
When DROF checked out, I noticed that the waders were 29.99 instead of the advertised 19.99. Quickly I pointed this out to DROF after he paid. So we got a customer service representative(who was eye raping the hell out of the sexy cashier at the time) to find out where that ten dollars was located. Turns out that the ten dollars was actually the foam pieces on the bottom of the waders. They actually are called felt-bottom waders which makes it more pleasant when you step on rocks. Of course, we took the extra ten spot in our pockets over the rock-friendly waders. Currently I'm taking bets on what kind of injury DROF and I will suffer from having the normal rubber bottom waders.
The Floss also is preparing to make a list of things that he will definitely need to bring for the trip Friday/Saturday. The list looks something like this:
New Rod(currently nameless, suggestions welcomed)
Natalie Bass(backup rod, great name)
Fishin' Vest(Xmas present from MOF)
Hat(gonna rain, notice, not a fitted)
Backup Clothes(honestly, right now the odds are at least 2:1 that I fall in the water)
Tackle Box
Fishin' Chair(on the shoulders of COF)
Fishin' License(probably going to forget and have to pretend to be <16 years old, not hard so long as I'm not in the sweater vest)
Skoal x 2(Loooooooonnnng Night)
Really I have no idea why I'm so excited for opening day this year. Last year, the number of legitimate fish the Floss reeled in is definitely countable on two hands. I guess I'm just looking at it from a baseball perspective. Since I didn't get in a full season last year, the Floss is still a rookie of the year candidate. Since the Floss is most definitely a negative Nancy, I have thought about things that could mess this trip up. They start and end with alcohol. First it starts Thursday night, while the Floss is currently vowing to not drink Thursday, this probably won't happen. More realistically is DROF who is pledging no Vlad Thursday(probably would need legal representation to make this dream a reality). Then we turn to Friday and when to start boozing. The belief here is that we are going to leave for the creek(crick) at 6PM(Deer Creek is in Indianola, PA, 35 min away). With a drive like that, no doubt DROF is going to want a "roadie". Shit, we could be goin' down the street and DROF would want a roadie. Even if I don't start drinking 'til a more reasonable time like 8, that is still 12 hours of drinking. Last Friday I completed 17 hours of drinking, so saying it can't be done is a lie. However, the stupid old heads will probably dare me to do something like 42 shotguns in a row, and like Tom Petty, I won't back down. With all of this said, if we run out of beer, the blame goes squarely on COF's shoulders. Sorry, but facts are facts. If we need a keg, I will build a raft for the stupid creek, just don't let us run out of booze.
Basically, to all the loyal fans of the Floss I want your support. When you wake up Saturday morning, your first thought/txt message of the day is too see how many fish I caught. Again more realistically was I alive for the fishing. See now I'm excited.
BREAKING THE CURSE
I'm breaking the Floss' Curse on the Pens by writing about them right now. While I'm excited for opening day of fishin', I'm pissed that I will be missing game 2 of the Ottawa-Pens series. However, COF assures me that his 44 dollar crank radio will come through. First things first, we have game one. Bryan Murray is a d-bag for thinking that we tanked it on Sunday against the Flyers to get his team. He knows they are weak and is making a public plea to get his team fired up. Sorry Murray, your team is going to shit the bed tonight. 5-1 Pens, 2 for Sid, 1 for Geno, 1 for Malone, and 1 for Ryan Whitney. Here is who the Floss would be playing for Game 1:
Talbot--Sid--Hossa
Sykora--Malkin--Malone
Dupuis--Staal--Ruutu
Whitney(for 7th defense)--Beech--Laraque
Gonchar--Scuderi
Gill--Letang
Orpik--Sydor
Last night, thanks to the B Man, the Floss was able to get the main necessities for Saturday. They included a brand new fishin' pole, some line for the pole, hip waders, and a fishin' license. The funniest part of the trip was trying to find the right hip waders. Little did DROF or the Floss know, there was a difference between the waders with the foam on the bottom and the ones without. Since we both picked the waders with foam on them, it led to an interesting convo.
DROF: "We just rip this foam off once we take them out of the bag?"
Floss: "Yeah, It probably just keeps them packed better"
DROF: "Okay, thats what I thought"
When DROF checked out, I noticed that the waders were 29.99 instead of the advertised 19.99. Quickly I pointed this out to DROF after he paid. So we got a customer service representative(who was eye raping the hell out of the sexy cashier at the time) to find out where that ten dollars was located. Turns out that the ten dollars was actually the foam pieces on the bottom of the waders. They actually are called felt-bottom waders which makes it more pleasant when you step on rocks. Of course, we took the extra ten spot in our pockets over the rock-friendly waders. Currently I'm taking bets on what kind of injury DROF and I will suffer from having the normal rubber bottom waders.
The Floss also is preparing to make a list of things that he will definitely need to bring for the trip Friday/Saturday. The list looks something like this:
New Rod(currently nameless, suggestions welcomed)
Natalie Bass(backup rod, great name)
Fishin' Vest(Xmas present from MOF)
Hat(gonna rain, notice, not a fitted)
Backup Clothes(honestly, right now the odds are at least 2:1 that I fall in the water)
Tackle Box
Fishin' Chair(on the shoulders of COF)
Fishin' License(probably going to forget and have to pretend to be <16 years old, not hard so long as I'm not in the sweater vest)
Skoal x 2(Loooooooonnnng Night)
Really I have no idea why I'm so excited for opening day this year. Last year, the number of legitimate fish the Floss reeled in is definitely countable on two hands. I guess I'm just looking at it from a baseball perspective. Since I didn't get in a full season last year, the Floss is still a rookie of the year candidate. Since the Floss is most definitely a negative Nancy, I have thought about things that could mess this trip up. They start and end with alcohol. First it starts Thursday night, while the Floss is currently vowing to not drink Thursday, this probably won't happen. More realistically is DROF who is pledging no Vlad Thursday(probably would need legal representation to make this dream a reality). Then we turn to Friday and when to start boozing. The belief here is that we are going to leave for the creek(crick) at 6PM(Deer Creek is in Indianola, PA, 35 min away). With a drive like that, no doubt DROF is going to want a "roadie". Shit, we could be goin' down the street and DROF would want a roadie. Even if I don't start drinking 'til a more reasonable time like 8, that is still 12 hours of drinking. Last Friday I completed 17 hours of drinking, so saying it can't be done is a lie. However, the stupid old heads will probably dare me to do something like 42 shotguns in a row, and like Tom Petty, I won't back down. With all of this said, if we run out of beer, the blame goes squarely on COF's shoulders. Sorry, but facts are facts. If we need a keg, I will build a raft for the stupid creek, just don't let us run out of booze.
Basically, to all the loyal fans of the Floss I want your support. When you wake up Saturday morning, your first thought/txt message of the day is too see how many fish I caught. Again more realistically was I alive for the fishing. See now I'm excited.
BREAKING THE CURSE
I'm breaking the Floss' Curse on the Pens by writing about them right now. While I'm excited for opening day of fishin', I'm pissed that I will be missing game 2 of the Ottawa-Pens series. However, COF assures me that his 44 dollar crank radio will come through. First things first, we have game one. Bryan Murray is a d-bag for thinking that we tanked it on Sunday against the Flyers to get his team. He knows they are weak and is making a public plea to get his team fired up. Sorry Murray, your team is going to shit the bed tonight. 5-1 Pens, 2 for Sid, 1 for Geno, 1 for Malone, and 1 for Ryan Whitney. Here is who the Floss would be playing for Game 1:
Talbot--Sid--Hossa
Sykora--Malkin--Malone
Dupuis--Staal--Ruutu
Whitney(for 7th defense)--Beech--Laraque
Gonchar--Scuderi
Gill--Letang
Orpik--Sydor
Friday, April 4, 2008
COME ONE COME ALL
I've flipped sides on things before, this is one of those times. I have been bashing baseball since the blog was in existence, but reserve a seat for me on the Bucco Bandwagon. The Floss doesn't really know much about John Russell other than I love his attitude. Jim Tracy seemed like a bitter individual, so everyone knew he would never win. Russy Russ seems like a players manager. It just might be what the Pirates needed. I also like to envision the speech he got before he accepted the job to go like this..."Well John, we don't have the players right now to win. The team isn't in place for you to win baseball games. Just promote development, get a guy to have a career year, keep the guys happy, and next year you will be rewarded with your team". Then Russy Russ just walked out, thinking that the Pirates ownership is bullshit, and he was gonna win now. So he just motivate himself to play each game like it was the World Series. While this team won't stick around for probably half the year, right now they have a nice little team out there(minus Gomez and Rivas, Bixler please). If Nate McClouth can keep up his torrid pace through three games, he could be the homeless man's Grady Sizemore. Who doesn't love that hunk Sizemore? What? X gon' give it to ya might be the best Pirate. He is going to be tough to give up at the All Star break. Hopefully this won't happen because the Bucs don't lose more than 22 games til then. One of the reason's for this optimism is DROF, his drunken love of the Pirates makes me want them to win for him. He has no concept of the 162 game season. When the Buccos won the opener, you would have thought they clinched the division or even won the World Series. And now he goes on to play Hannah Montana? Lord. Just jump on the bandwagon. The Floss is wasting valuable Goldfish eating time.
Monday, March 31, 2008
FINAL THOUGHTS
The weekend has came and went. I finally came to grips with what I will remember from the Pitt basketball season. I will remember the Big East Tournament, not what could have been. You could dwell on the fact that Pitt was outplayed in their 2nd round game against Michigan St, but the Floss will not be. Even if Pitt wins that game, they would have lost to Memphis, who is playing the best basketball in the country right now, even better than Rock Chalk, UCLA, and UNC(but barely). Memphis is playing like a well oiled machine right now and is the Floss' pick to win it all at this point. So in retrospect, maybe WVU and 'Nova got one more win in the tourney this year, and Louisville 2, I'm taking our title and being happy with it. Next year, if Sam I AM comes back, we should make a legit final 4 run.
PIRATES SEASON OPENER
If you hear crickets, thats because no one is talking about the Pirates season opener. For the first time in the Floss' life, he didn't give a rat's ass about the Pirates season starting. I fully expect this team to lose 95 plus games this year, but I did think about a positive thing about the Pirates. This might be their best starting pitching rotation in a while. Snell and Gorzo are legit NL starters, Maholm and Duke have shown that they can be major league starters, and Matt Morris might have something left in the tank. If all the pitchers play well this season and the position players all have career years, theres no reason to think we can't win 84 games. My excitement for the season is currently at a 2 out of 10, hopefully that changes. Floss' prediction for tonight...I will be watching Pens-Rangers on Versus.
AND THEN THERE WERE 3
WOW. Last night was the best ROL all season. The drama really unfolded last night. Daisy proved her craziness again with her abortion, 2 year abstinence, dancing job, and her previous affairs with a guitarist from Poison. The most shocking part about last night's episode was that she didn't get the boot. Let me go one by one on the Daisy issues...
ABORTION- I felt legitimately bad that she had to reveal this on television. This may have been the first revelation of an abortion on a reality show.
2 YEAR ABSTINENCE AND DANCING JOB- These two are linked perfectly. Honestly, as a huge strip club afficianado, the Floss cannot believe this. Who would have ever believed that any stripper was abstinent? She's a liar. In the perfect world, strippers have sex every night with a customer. The Floss just doesn't have the funds. This is my theory, strippers have sex for money, dancing is just a cover. God damnit. Even if you don't believe my theory, just look at Daisy. In 2 years, a girl as trashy as that hasn't let a man get lucky. She also has plastic surgery and a boob job. I just don't understand how she could possibly keep her legs closed for 2 years. Why continually lie to Bret? It's like lying to God.
CC-Yeah, she never hung out with him. Good lie there. Bret could probably ask CC right now and he could out her lying ass. However, CC probably wouldn't remember one groupie from all the years of drugs and rock n' roll.
How about Bret also called her one of the hottest groupies he has seen? Bullshit Bret. She probably couldn't place top 5 backstage on any given night.
Onto the rest of the episode...Destiney is annoying and a big fat C word. She can't continually be that big of a bitch and stay high in the power rankings. I still like her as the winner though, sadly. She sucks. The Heather of season 2. Ambre is starting to show her tough side, and the Floss loves it. Her attitude is becoming sexier by the minute. The only problem with Ambre is that she originally lied to Bret and it is outed that she is actually 37. I couldn't get over that she was 32. Ouch, 37, that's old. The new fav.
Jessica...ah Jessica. It was really for the best that she didn't make it to the finals, but of all the weeks for Bret to do it, this wasn't the week. Jessica puts in her best episode yet. Who knew she was the next Anika Sorrenstam? It was also funny when she said she played four years of varsity golf in high school. The Floss was thinking that she graduated like 3 years ago and wouldn't be too rusty. On an episode where she showed her sanity, skill set, and sexiness, Bret gives her the boot. Honestly, the Floss was super disappointed in Bret for this, leading me to my next theory...
Bret doesn't want a non-violated girl, he doesn't want to be guy number 4 or 5, he wants to be guy number 2,246 or 2,247. The conclusion from this theory is that Bret doesn't want commitment from these girls. Another conclusion the Floss draws from this theory is that Bret reads the Floss and that we are on the same page. He saw my hopeful prediction that he will become the next Hef. He also saw that everyone wants more ROL's. Bret buddy, I got you.
POWER RANKINGS GOIN' INTO THE FINALS
24-Daisy
17-Destiney
1-Ambre
PIRATES SEASON OPENER
If you hear crickets, thats because no one is talking about the Pirates season opener. For the first time in the Floss' life, he didn't give a rat's ass about the Pirates season starting. I fully expect this team to lose 95 plus games this year, but I did think about a positive thing about the Pirates. This might be their best starting pitching rotation in a while. Snell and Gorzo are legit NL starters, Maholm and Duke have shown that they can be major league starters, and Matt Morris might have something left in the tank. If all the pitchers play well this season and the position players all have career years, theres no reason to think we can't win 84 games. My excitement for the season is currently at a 2 out of 10, hopefully that changes. Floss' prediction for tonight...I will be watching Pens-Rangers on Versus.
AND THEN THERE WERE 3
WOW. Last night was the best ROL all season. The drama really unfolded last night. Daisy proved her craziness again with her abortion, 2 year abstinence, dancing job, and her previous affairs with a guitarist from Poison. The most shocking part about last night's episode was that she didn't get the boot. Let me go one by one on the Daisy issues...
ABORTION- I felt legitimately bad that she had to reveal this on television. This may have been the first revelation of an abortion on a reality show.
2 YEAR ABSTINENCE AND DANCING JOB- These two are linked perfectly. Honestly, as a huge strip club afficianado, the Floss cannot believe this. Who would have ever believed that any stripper was abstinent? She's a liar. In the perfect world, strippers have sex every night with a customer. The Floss just doesn't have the funds. This is my theory, strippers have sex for money, dancing is just a cover. God damnit. Even if you don't believe my theory, just look at Daisy. In 2 years, a girl as trashy as that hasn't let a man get lucky. She also has plastic surgery and a boob job. I just don't understand how she could possibly keep her legs closed for 2 years. Why continually lie to Bret? It's like lying to God.
CC-Yeah, she never hung out with him. Good lie there. Bret could probably ask CC right now and he could out her lying ass. However, CC probably wouldn't remember one groupie from all the years of drugs and rock n' roll.
How about Bret also called her one of the hottest groupies he has seen? Bullshit Bret. She probably couldn't place top 5 backstage on any given night.
Onto the rest of the episode...Destiney is annoying and a big fat C word. She can't continually be that big of a bitch and stay high in the power rankings. I still like her as the winner though, sadly. She sucks. The Heather of season 2. Ambre is starting to show her tough side, and the Floss loves it. Her attitude is becoming sexier by the minute. The only problem with Ambre is that she originally lied to Bret and it is outed that she is actually 37. I couldn't get over that she was 32. Ouch, 37, that's old. The new fav.
Jessica...ah Jessica. It was really for the best that she didn't make it to the finals, but of all the weeks for Bret to do it, this wasn't the week. Jessica puts in her best episode yet. Who knew she was the next Anika Sorrenstam? It was also funny when she said she played four years of varsity golf in high school. The Floss was thinking that she graduated like 3 years ago and wouldn't be too rusty. On an episode where she showed her sanity, skill set, and sexiness, Bret gives her the boot. Honestly, the Floss was super disappointed in Bret for this, leading me to my next theory...
Bret doesn't want a non-violated girl, he doesn't want to be guy number 4 or 5, he wants to be guy number 2,246 or 2,247. The conclusion from this theory is that Bret doesn't want commitment from these girls. Another conclusion the Floss draws from this theory is that Bret reads the Floss and that we are on the same page. He saw my hopeful prediction that he will become the next Hef. He also saw that everyone wants more ROL's. Bret buddy, I got you.
POWER RANKINGS GOIN' INTO THE FINALS
24-Daisy
17-Destiney
1-Ambre
Monday, March 24, 2008
FOLLOW UP: I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD (PART 2)
First, for the new fans of the Floss, stop reading right now and go back and read Thursday January 24th's blog entitled "I WANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD".
Well, today was another blood drive at the University of Pittsburgh. The Floss has been debating whether or not to try to donate at this blood drive, just for blog value. Forget the saving lives, the Floss wanted a blog. I mustered up my courage enough to go to the blood drive today. Immediately when I arrived, I saw 3 of the BSV's smoking cigs on the patio outside the Union. Great, more cigarette smoke. I really did almost walk away. They were actually what was described about BSV's, 25 to 45, definitely single, trashy, ugly, lung cancer, etc. Not a good sign. The Floss did not stop at the door, he made it all the way inside. First things first, sign in, say I haven't had sex with an African Male in the last 27 years, that I never had mad cow disease, never went outside of the US and Canada(what is so clean about Canada that it is on our level), and most importantly have not been pregnant in the past 6 months. After the preliminary screening, the Floss made the one on one interview. The BSV who interviewed me was one of the cigarette smoking BSV's. Not a good start for the Floss. Well the one on one interview could be compared to the NFL Combine. You had to pass their series of tests to make the cut for the blood sucking table. I passed the "Eyyyyerrroon" Test, gotta love the yinzer in this BSV. Next was the pulse test, rocked that one somehow in my nervous state. The last test was the one I was certainly going to fail, blood pressure test. First, the Floss has family history of high blood pressure, plus I eat everything greasy, cheesy, meaty, syrupy and haven't exercised since the Backyard Brawl. Compare the Floss in a blood pressure test to Casey Hampton in his first sprint test of the season. BUT, shockingly I passed again. Now it was no looking back, we were goin' to one of the tables, getting the blood sucked out...
Well, today was another blood drive at the University of Pittsburgh. The Floss has been debating whether or not to try to donate at this blood drive, just for blog value. Forget the saving lives, the Floss wanted a blog. I mustered up my courage enough to go to the blood drive today. Immediately when I arrived, I saw 3 of the BSV's smoking cigs on the patio outside the Union. Great, more cigarette smoke. I really did almost walk away. They were actually what was described about BSV's, 25 to 45, definitely single, trashy, ugly, lung cancer, etc. Not a good sign. The Floss did not stop at the door, he made it all the way inside. First things first, sign in, say I haven't had sex with an African Male in the last 27 years, that I never had mad cow disease, never went outside of the US and Canada(what is so clean about Canada that it is on our level), and most importantly have not been pregnant in the past 6 months. After the preliminary screening, the Floss made the one on one interview. The BSV who interviewed me was one of the cigarette smoking BSV's. Not a good start for the Floss. Well the one on one interview could be compared to the NFL Combine. You had to pass their series of tests to make the cut for the blood sucking table. I passed the "Eyyyyerrroon" Test, gotta love the yinzer in this BSV. Next was the pulse test, rocked that one somehow in my nervous state. The last test was the one I was certainly going to fail, blood pressure test. First, the Floss has family history of high blood pressure, plus I eat everything greasy, cheesy, meaty, syrupy and haven't exercised since the Backyard Brawl. Compare the Floss in a blood pressure test to Casey Hampton in his first sprint test of the season. BUT, shockingly I passed again. Now it was no looking back, we were goin' to one of the tables, getting the blood sucked out...
To set it up for you, there are 4 tables and 6 BSV's. All tables empty, all BSV's un-occupied. The Floss had a BIG decision to make. Here's a break down of what the BSV's were lookin' like. We had 2 young, trashy, beautiful(in BSV standards), 20-somethings. Then there were 2 very trashy, goth looking, nose-ring wearing, black eye liner streaks, just nothing good about these 2 BSV's. Then we had a motherly looking woman, probably 40's, definitely the most experienced BSV. Lastly, there was a guy. If I'm getting my blood sucked, definitely going to be a girl BSV. The Floss had it narrowed down to 2 final choices, the mother woman and the cuter less-trashy 20-something BSV. Well we all know who I chose...
So, the woman about to suck my blood's name was Christina. She asked me if I had any problems giving blood before. Naturally I told her about how uneasy I was with the whole blood sucking thing. Naturally in her cute BSV tone, she said she would take good care of me. Christina reassured the Floss, the trust was unbelievable in our relationship. First she tried to find the vein in my left arm. All of her poking and prodding(hands not needle) at my fatty arm was to no avail as she could not find the vein, so she asked for my right arm. I was very nervous in the short run about her sucking blood from my right arm because I thought it would make my writing arm very sore for the day. But for Christina, I was down. After some more of her rubbing my arm(great foreplay), she found the vein and got rough with me. Christina started up my arm's iodine bath in preparation for the needle being driven in my arm. The time had come, needle time...
So the Floss closed his eyes as always with needles, and I felt the normal sting of a needle. This didn't hurt any more or less than any other needle incident. That was it, basically. It didn't hurt, the blood flowed out like a river, everything according to plan. She ended our relationship earlier than I would have liked, but Christina still has to be the MVP of BSV's. Now if there is one good BSV, does that mean there are more? No probably not, I'm just glad that I saved 3 lives.
ROL UPDATE
Since I have not fully grasped the magnitude or importance of the Pitt loss I will wait a little to write about it. I also can't talk about the team atop the Atlantic because we know how that goes. Since I haven't blogged in a while, I figure I can give a ROL update.
First off, a Happy Belated Easter to all. Since the Floss will be eating leftover ham sandwiches for at least a week, I'm still celebrating the bunny's arrival. Now for the episode. Personally, I wasn't impressed. The Floss was and still is a HUGE HEATHER HATER. She sucks. Period. I don't care if she combines the 2 fine arts of alcoholism and stripping, I just don't like her. I was sick of hearing, "I just wanna get the dirt on these girls". The only reason Bret brought her back is because he was sick of not having sex with the girls this season(Heather is definitely one of his go-to bangs when he can't score random play). Bret has refrained himself much more this season because of the heat he took last time. I think he may have only went past kissing with just Daisy(probably went all the way there). Maybe a little bj/hj action with Krazy Joe while she was still around. If he banged her, she would still be there. Back to the episode, the ex boyfriends were a terrible addition. They gave away nothing. The best was easily Ambre's weirdo friend. Honestly, if that is Ambre's best friend, how in the living hell could Bret date her? Seriously, unless Bret gives up rock and roll for Scrabble tourney's Ambre is dunzo. The other ex's just plained sucked. No big secrets came out other than Daisy's mild secret. Her secret wasn't nearly as shocking as Krazy Joe still being married. By Jessica getting blackout drunk, she ruined her chance too. Bret knows she couldn't handle partying on the road. I think last night's episode actually eliminated 2 contestants(Megan too) and left us with a 2 horse race. The 2 horses would be Destiney and Daisy. The Floss was on the Destiney bandwagon day one. I also predicted a long run for Daisy. Ambre and Jessica are going to provide a nice argument for cute vs. evil. I'm gonna say right now the finals are going to be Destiney and Ambre. Bret went with the sweet girl in season one, going with the crazy rocker in season two. Enough with the Floss' predictions. Here are the Power Rankings for the Final 4:
4. Daisy--don't like her, just don't really like her.
3. Jessica--I don't want her making the finals, would be a crushing loss. Trying to get off the drug that is Jessica.
2. Ambre--Too Old. Too lame. Still floats the Floss' boat.
1. Destiney--Many people hate her, I love her, and her cans.
First off, a Happy Belated Easter to all. Since the Floss will be eating leftover ham sandwiches for at least a week, I'm still celebrating the bunny's arrival. Now for the episode. Personally, I wasn't impressed. The Floss was and still is a HUGE HEATHER HATER. She sucks. Period. I don't care if she combines the 2 fine arts of alcoholism and stripping, I just don't like her. I was sick of hearing, "I just wanna get the dirt on these girls". The only reason Bret brought her back is because he was sick of not having sex with the girls this season(Heather is definitely one of his go-to bangs when he can't score random play). Bret has refrained himself much more this season because of the heat he took last time. I think he may have only went past kissing with just Daisy(probably went all the way there). Maybe a little bj/hj action with Krazy Joe while she was still around. If he banged her, she would still be there. Back to the episode, the ex boyfriends were a terrible addition. They gave away nothing. The best was easily Ambre's weirdo friend. Honestly, if that is Ambre's best friend, how in the living hell could Bret date her? Seriously, unless Bret gives up rock and roll for Scrabble tourney's Ambre is dunzo. The other ex's just plained sucked. No big secrets came out other than Daisy's mild secret. Her secret wasn't nearly as shocking as Krazy Joe still being married. By Jessica getting blackout drunk, she ruined her chance too. Bret knows she couldn't handle partying on the road. I think last night's episode actually eliminated 2 contestants(Megan too) and left us with a 2 horse race. The 2 horses would be Destiney and Daisy. The Floss was on the Destiney bandwagon day one. I also predicted a long run for Daisy. Ambre and Jessica are going to provide a nice argument for cute vs. evil. I'm gonna say right now the finals are going to be Destiney and Ambre. Bret went with the sweet girl in season one, going with the crazy rocker in season two. Enough with the Floss' predictions. Here are the Power Rankings for the Final 4:
4. Daisy--don't like her, just don't really like her.
3. Jessica--I don't want her making the finals, would be a crushing loss. Trying to get off the drug that is Jessica.
2. Ambre--Too Old. Too lame. Still floats the Floss' boat.
1. Destiney--Many people hate her, I love her, and her cans.
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