CAN BAR FLOSS GO 2 FOR 2?

FUCK YEAH HE CAN. That's right, 2 nights in a row, Uncle Pete's let in the Floss. Don't have much time to write, going to drop off toys with Toys for Tots. Some highlights:

**Starting RG John Malecki telling me "I fuckin hate football". He said that it was the biggest snub ever that he didn't make first or second team all Big East. My response, "At least Scott(roomate McKskillet) won defensive player of the year". That didn't make the situation any better.

**Greg Romeus blackout drunk introducing me to hot white girls. I think this one explains itself.

**Mr. Shenanigans being there, talking to him and getting a text from him, "Why didn't you go to Peter's last night?"

**Only spending 14 dollars in 2+ hours. So now the average for 2 nights is like 32.50. Bar Floss will take that any fuckin day of the week.

**ULTIMATE HIGHLIGHT:

The Floss meets a female at a pregame party, who he gets Malecki to sneak in for her. Her name you ask, Brighton. It sounds like (bright-EN). She's says guess what my last name is? It makes sense. The Floss' Vlad induced coma response "Yourdayup", except very slowly. It sounded like she had the longest last name. This girl and her friend were appalled at this response. She was like, no it's "early". So Ms. Brighton Early, fuck you from the Floss, have a merry Christmas.

THE RETURN OF BAR FLOSS

Bar Floss made an appearance last night. Yes, the Floss went to Peters. And since he's done with finals, he didn't hold back. The Floss needs to talk to DROF about his behavior, but pretty sure I was a gem last night at the bar. Some highlights last night:

* Spent in the upper 50's as far as scrilla goes, but shit finals are over.
* Called B Man with the manager. Little did he know that the Floss is 20. Ha.
* Bought DROF a shot of bourbon. Hail bourbon.
* Got a drink bought for me by a Pitt football player(Justin Hargrove)
* Won my bet on the Zags last night

The real highlight came early, pre super drunk Floss. It was country night at Pete's as you most know, so naturally there was a lot of singing along coming from the Floss' mouth. Taylor Swift's beautiful song Love Story came on. The Floss belted some notes, and then a girl noticed. She was an asian girl, but loved the enthusiasm of the Floss' singing style. She joined along. Since the Floss is a man, he naturally loves asians. She was no different, until she started whoring herself out for a drink. She kept trying to *whisper to her friend about not having a drink. You could see the desperation behind those slant eyes. She sucked. The Floss watched her keep attempting to get men to buy her a drink. She eventually won, but not against this guy.

DESHEA TOWNSEND

Since the Floss has been busy with finals and not blogging, he hasn't got to weigh in on the 10-3 Steelers. They rule. No matter if they win ugly, they still win baby. The Floss has been adament about the AFC title going through Pittsburgh in a proverbial sense, but now it might be literal. If the Steelers can win out(projected by all at Floss industries) and Tennesee OVERRATEDS lose at Indy, the conference goes through da Burgh. In light of the best Pitt football season since Larry FitzHeisman played, the Floss still can't stop thinking about winning a Super Bowl.

TEBOW

As you know, the Floss LOVES Timmy T. Today I just want to show you his girlfriend. Dear Lord. The Floss hates swimming, but would go with Lucy Pinder.

QUICK PICKS

This post is allotted around 9 minutes, so enjoy whatever you read. The Floss is pickin' championship Saturday games, GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO:

PITT AT UCONN 12 PM

The Floss all week was nervous, but today I've come to grips with it...The Panthers are for real. The Floss doesn't expect a close game, thinking around 34-17 for the Panthers. Bill Stull needs to do something to make me not give him a C in his end of the year report card.

FLORIDA VS. ALABAMA 4:05

TEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW. Is there a better man crush in all the land than Tim Tebow? Seriously, next week, after finals, the Floss will create a man crush blog. Tebow wins. Lay the points with Florida. He doesn't even need Percy. The Floss seriously LOVES Timmy T. People might not remember, but on the Hoover High TV show on MTV, both of the QB's in the SEC championship game made an appearance. Tebow actually dazzled for Nease High against Hoover in a losing effort. JPW or John Parker Wilson as his mommy calls him was the older brother of the starting QB on Hoover. Interesting.

MIZZOURA VS. OKLAHOMA

Sam Bradford is the most Mexican looking non Mexican ever. Not too mention the Griffin twins have a ridiculous set of parents. It's uncanny. The Floss is rootin on Mizzoura because of Colt McCoy and Jordan Shipley at Texas, but OK rolls. OK will fail miserably in the NC game because Stoops and bowl games get along like DickRod and Michigan.

MONEY IN THE BANK LOCK OF THE DAY...

CINCI -7.5 AT HAWAII

2 HELPINGS OF RANT--THANKSGIVING EDITION

Holiday issues coupled with the lackluster computer in the home of the Floss, there will probably be no updates until around next Monday. The Floss says sorry for that. Here are 2 rants courtesy of the Floss, both relating to Turkey Day:

"HAPPY T-GIVING TO U AND UR FAMILY"

What's this you ask? O, u all no, it's a tm wishing u a happy holiday. I hate the mass texts that swirl around on holidays. If you are going to waste time to send a text, personalize the damn thing. The mass text on holidays is like the "hey, we haven't talked in between 6 and 12 months, but just so you know I care enough about you to check the box next to your contact info, take care". Seriously, the mass texts on holidays are sooooooooooo wizzzzeeak. The Floss bets if you all think about it, you can think already about the people who will send you one. However, there are always those people that you definitely didn't expect probably because they are the ones with a send all button. Not too mention, it is almost guaranteed that on one of the MMTH(Major Mass Text Holidays), you will receive a MTM(Mass Text Message) from a number you don't even have. The Floss sees 2 possible solutions to this MTM problem:

1. Prank Mass Texts. Get a list of all the people that you were going to send a TM to on an MMTH and change what you were going to say to something funny like, "balls on your chin". Not only will this confuse people, but they will just know to not MTM you ever again.

2. Change the MMTH around. Stop on the important holidays. The Floss thinks if you really want to wish someone a happy holiday, you might as well personalize the text. Let's just change the MMTH around to some more fun times. Some examples, Cinco de Mayo, MLK Day, any anniversary of a Steelers' Super Bowl, etc. Can you imagine a MTM for MLK Day, "Hey all, just wanted to say Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. Sip some juice. Love ya, Floss". Yes We Can.

LIONS AND COWBOYS

Fuck the Lions and Cowboys. There is no reason that they should both be playing every year on Turkey Day. The Lions haven't had a meaningful week 13 game in probably 10 years. Although you could argue the Lions haven't had a meaningful game in 10 years, sans ones where they are playing for draft picks. The Cowboys are America's team, so what? Give everyone else a shot damnit. Another thing, the NFL should not allow the NFL Network to show the primetime game. Seriously, your the most successful sport in terms of popularity and revenue, stop selling your soul every fuckin' year. At least if your going to take the only decent game of the day away from the fans, pay the refs a competitive salary. This year ESPN bit them though by putting no. 2 Texas on TV at the same time. To hell with the NFL Network.

101st EDITION OF THE BACKYARD BRAWL

-No real preview of the game, last game still pisses me off.
-At least we can stop the run.
-This is the last time Pat White will play Pitt, thank god, he was one of my favorite qu'eers to watch.
-Probably Shady's last home game. It's awesome that Pitt's 2 best players in my lifetime were both prep school products. Thanks.
-The game will be a sell out, might actually have an atmosphere.
-FLOSSY PREDICTION:
PITT 24
QUEERS 14

To go back to something from yesterday, Pitt can still win 10 games this year. Do you know the last time Pitt won 10 games, 1981. The Floss wasn't even thought about in 1981. The computer wasn't even real in 1981. Do you know how many times Pitt has won 9 games since 1981, 2 FUCKING TIMES. And one of those times was 1982. In the Floss' tenure on this Earth, 1988 going forward, Pitt has won 9 games once. It was the glorious 2001-2002 season where Larry Fitz torched the Oregon St. Beavs in the Insight Bowl. Get a grip people, this is going to be the most successful year in almost 30 FUCKING years. Stop your bitching.

CINCI HANGOVER

"I'll remember this trip forever, but not because of the football game"--PnR

The trip to Cinci this weekend was very interesting to say the least. As Vinnie Vaughn says in Wedding Crashers, "I don't want to talk about it because it will just make me mad". So let's just focus on the football related thoughts:

-Seriously, I hate the negativity that Pitt fans have as a whole. Seriously, Pitt hasn't won 7 games in 3 years, now we finally do and people bitch. We lost to Bowling Green and Rutgers, both at home, going into the Cincinnati game. The fans acted like Pitt was god-damn-invincible. Fans already writing this season off are god damn insane. Pitt can still win 10 GAMES. Honestly, before the year I would have been elated with 10 wins. Not too mention a 2-1 finish gets us 9 wins, another above average season. I don't know why Pitt fans feel that we are USC and anything less than 10 wins is absurd. The only way the Floss will take this blog straight to negative town is a 0-3 finish. The Floss has had it up to here with these stupid fans. This has been the best year to be a Pitt fan since the Fiesta Bowl season. Be happy for once.

-Cincinnati has about 3,000 real fans. Everyone we met in Cicinnati cared way way more about tOSU than they did about Cinci. They all assumed that we would be rooting for PSU against MSU because they thought we were PSU fans because we were from PA. It was a weird thing. Way less school pride than Pitt which means nothing when they go to the Orange Bowl. Overall, the Floss is still proud to be PITT AND IT. By this I mean, Pitt and that's fucking it. IT. The Floss still likes other teams, but there is no questioning where my fanhood rests.

-The campus of Cincinnati is weird. It has some nicer parts than Pitt, primarily some grass and a football stadium(even though it is a concrete mess with bleachers) that serves beer. Their ghetto is worse than the Hill. It was an interesting town though and had more of a college feel I guess.

-One brightspot this weekend was learning that you can get TRIPLE meat on a Subway hoagie. The Floss watched Mr. Shenanigans order a TRIPLE MEAT TRIPLE CHEESE Chicken Bacon Ranch at a Subway on the way home from Cinci. It had 12 Subway boats of chicken strips, 12 pieces of bacon, 12 triangles of cheese. It was an amazing feat although still a ripoff for 14 dollars.

-New basketball rankings are out and the Panthers somehow jumped UCLA AND Duke. A little shocked the Panthers jumped Duke, but obviously the Floss agrees with the move. Any question which conference will dominate college basketball this year. The Big East has the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 8th, 15th, 16th, and 22nd ranked teams. By votes they also have the 31st and 33rd ranked teams. Also watch out for the 'Cuse, no. 33, to take out Florida tonight in the CBE classic. The Floss usually thinks 'Cuse is overrated, but not this year. Johnny Flynn, Devendorf, Onuaku, Paul Harris, Andy Rautins, Scoop Jardine, Rick Jackson, and Kristof Ongenaet. These are all players who have played legitimate minutes for the Orange before in their career. They also lost a cancer with Donte Green. I don't know why the Floss felt the need to slurp on the Orange, but just watch out for them.

-The Floss also wants to comment on "Joshua". He is someone who just randomly commented on the Floss' Pitt--Cinci preview. We're moving in the right direction. The Floss knows 0 Joshua's. The fan count has easily topped double digits.

PITT PREVIEW

Well the Floss nearly hit his Steeler's projected score from tonight, he doesn't claim to be a genius, but damn close. Before we get to the Pitt preview, the Floss wants to give credit to Duke staying tough and blowing out SIU. It was truly a nice win. Also, great win for John Beilein over Ben Howland's UCLA team. I hadn't seen UCLA yet, but for that team to be ranked over Pitt is crazy. Darren Collison is not as good as Levance Fields, no bullshit. Fields can score better, lead better, and dish just as well. Defensively might be where DC is better. The rest of their starting lineup is STUD freshman Jrue Holiday. He is good, but not near the freshmen that we have seen the past two years used. Then Josh Shipp, a role player who will be solid all year. James Keefe, really? Alfred Aboya, he is a good rebounder and a decent defender. UCLA was confused by a marginal Michigan team's 1-3-1 D. They were very confused. I will give a ton of credit to Michigan and Beilein, but UCLA was vastly overrated. At best they are the 15th best team in the nation. Sorry. Now onto the biggest game in OHIO this weekend, sorry CINC...

PITT OFFENSE VS. CINCI DEFENSE

The Cinci D has one hell of a secondary, but really does a secondary come into play that much against a team that doesn't throw downfield? That is the biggest question. Cinci also has a pretty solid front 4. However, the Pitt O-Line has gotten much better as the weeks have passed. If they can get down and block solidly, which the Floss thinks they will, I like their matchup against the Cinci LB's. The Cinci LB corp is solid, but nothing I'm writing home to MOF about. If Robby Armstrong, Franklin Regional's 2nd best RB of my lifetime(Soup Campbell), is starting at SAM LB, the Floss will be grinning ear to ear. LeSean "Shady" McCoy will be grinning the same as he is going one on one versus LB's all night. If this happens, Shady could go real tough on them. Against the Pitt passing game, I expect Brian Kelly, the best coach in the BE, to jam cover the WR's all day. I think this could actually backfire in his eye if Coach Cav(Skoal Wintergreen) decides to go up top early to JB. If we can get JB to make a big play early, their corners won't be able to be as aggressive. Many people clamor for the pass over the middle to TE's, but I think keeping the ball away from the middle will keep us from turnovers. We should also focus on hitting all of these screens that we have been hitting. A simple offensive gameplan is all the Panthers need. Shady should rush for 150 on about 30 carries.

PITT DEFENSE VS. CINCI OFFENSE

The Cinci offense doesn't scare the Floss one bit. They don't have a solid running back. They have 2 that have barely got over 1000 yards, and that is in one more game than Pitt's LeSean Mccoy has played. Tony Pike and Dustin Grutza are both marginal at best. Cinci runs a spread offense with less fire power than the USF offense that Pitt faced(I know USF has crapped the bed since). The point is, Pitt can stop a spread offense. Phil Bennett has been scheming defense's up for 2 weeks for this game. Pitt can probably get away with just playing their base 4-3, but you know Pitt can mix in some of the bandit defense that has been so successful. The Floss is worried that Pitt won't be able to get a turnover. I think the Panther's defense needs to force just one singular turnover for us to get a win this weekend. I think G-Rom or Ball can get a sack forced fumble off the edges. The Floss doesn't see any problems with the Pitt D this week, unless Mike Teel comes out for Cinci.

PITT SPECIAL TEAMS

-7 Blocked Kicks
-Conor Lee
-Aundre Wright, LaRod
-TJ's African Army

Pitt's special teams are better than 90% of team's in the country. I like their matchup any day. The wind in Cinci could hurt both teams though.

FLOSSY PREDICTION

PITT 31
CINCI 20

FIGHT ON FOR DEAR OLD PITTSBURGH, AND FOR THE GLORY OF THE GAME, SHOW OUR WORTHY FOE, THE PANTHERS ON THE GO, PITT MUST WIN TODAY, RAH, RAH, RAH, CHEER LOYAL SONS OF PITTSBURGH, CHEER ON TO VICTORY AND FAME, FOR THE BLUE AND GOLD WILL CONQUER AS OF OLD SO FIGHT, PITT, FIGHT!!!!!!!!

STEELERS AND BASKETBALL

The squad better come out ready today. The Bungholes are playing better right now, probably playing for Marvin the Martian's job. Sidenote: Hopefully Marvin Lewis is their coach for 2 more years, then takes over for a retiring Dick LeBeau and our 2/3 black coaching staff would dominate. The Bengals did play 5 quarters for a tie against the slumping Eagles, but they are a fiesty bunch. The Floss is honestly worried about the game. Without a quick start the Steelers could be playing from behind which with our O-Line, the Bengals could get lots of pressure on Ben if he needs to throw. That being said, if we get an early lead, always write off a 1-8-1 team. The Bengholes love playing tough against us mainly cause they HATE Hines Ward cause he torches them like Santonio Holmes torches blunts. I saw something today that said James Harrison is the 2nd best defensive player in the NFL. Well the Floss is here to say that he is number 1. The way he takes over a game is unbelievable. He reeks havoc on all O-Linemen. He forces fumbles, now he makes INT's. Shit, that n*gga can play. Plus a healthy Troy Polamalu helps that defense a bit, huh? I don't care what anyone says, the Steelers are still the Floss' pick to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. Keep Ben healthy, get Willie healthy, and don't get as fucked as we've been with injuries. The Steelers are for real.

FLOSSY PREDICTION
STEELERS 27
BUNGHOLES 14

EARLY HOOPS THOUGHTS

-Duke is overrated again. I can't believe that team is ranked 5th. I know it was one early season game, but the Floss is here to say that Duke will be a 7 seed in the tourney. Seriously, does Jon Scheyer scare anyone? Singler? Hendo? This isn't JWill, Booz, and Dunleavy. Sorry Dukies. Remember CINC, I'm a Duke fan second.

-The Floss also says don't take too much from the whole transitive property of winning thing. Pitt killing Miami OH was impressive especially with Big Ben in attendance, but because Howland's boys only beat them by 4 doesn't make us unstoppable. The real problem with this Pitt team will finding a solid rotation. Once Gil gets back who's minutes will get taken. Pitt also lacks another solid ball handler. Tre Woodall and Ash are decent, but if Fields goes down or gets in foul trouble, this could hurt real bad. Brad Wannamaker probably won't work out here.

-For Christmas, CINC can take the 2 hour trek to Davidson and pick me up a Steph Curry jersey. 2XL

-Tubby Smith definitely deserved to get fired, huh? Good job Gillespie, you fraud.

-If any of you saw the Arizona--UAB highlights, you must ponder how the Arizona players were that unaware of the score. Seriously, one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. Way worst than C-Webb's timeout.

HAIL TO PITT!