THE CAROLINER

The Floss is unleashing his creative side in this blog. Today I sat at a 2 hour presentation on the new International Financial Reporting Standards. Yawn I know. I came up with 5 sandwiches while sitting there bored out of my mind. Here goes it:

START ME UP

The "Start Me Up" is a sandwich designed for the non egg liking folk like the Floss, but it could also be prepared with egg as well. First we start with 2 McDonald's McGriddle cakes because they are the best. However, for this sandwich we need to double the size of the cake. Working from the bottom up, we start out with a nice piece of canadian bacon or ham depending on your preference. Then we add a piece of American Cheese. Next up is a sausage patty. Cheese. Then we add a hash brown. Cheese. Top it off with some bacon. Syrup dipping sauce is optional. This could definitely be prepared at home or by a chain.

BCT

The BCT is actually not a sandwich but a taquito. It would be prepared by putting buffalo chicken dip on a taquito shell. We would also fire it up a bit with some diced jalepenos. Then bake that baby to a crisp. Queso and salsa for dipping. Perfect game time snack.

THE SOLUTION

Maybe this was just a problem for the Floss, but it doesn't change this dominant sandwich. The problem for the Floss was when tailgating I couldn't choose between kielbasa and grilled italian sausage. For this sandwich, we need a nice hoagie bun. You place the italian sausage right in the middle of the bun. Then you cut the kielbasa down the center. Then you take the kielbasa and form a little "kielbasa tent" over top of the sausage. Every bite will have both tastes. Other fixins for this would be optional. For me it would be raw onion and a shitload of ketchup. This is a great tailgating option. We could name this sandwich, "The Return of Pitt Football". Just a thought.

EASTER MONDAY

This sandwich was thought of because the Floss' love for ham. Everyone loves the leftover turkey sandwiches on the Friday after Thanksgiving. This year you can enjoy them while watching the Pitt Panthers take their second consecutive shit on the state of West Virginia. But back to the Easter Monday. We need a soft Kaiser bun for this. You top with some ham. Then you need a key ingredient, which is some sweet potatoes, preferably some mashed ones for sandwiching purposes. Then you add some grilled pineapple slices. No veggies needed on this bad boy. You could also add some BBQ sauce to increase the sweetness of this sandwich. Mmmmmm...

THE CAROLINER

The title of the blog. This was my favorite creation. Named in memory of CINC. It is a sandwich that he truly would love. First off you need a fork to eat this bad boy, which normally turns the Floss and others off, but not once you hear about this one. We need a biscuit to start this. Not a small biscuit. We need one 2.5 to 3 times the size of normal biscuits. We need some roided biscuits for this guy. Then we add a country fried steak to the bottom. Then a heaping scoop of mashed potatoes. Then another country fried steak on top of it. Sprinkle a half pound of shredded cheeses(cheddar and colby jack), then top it all off with some chicken gravy. This one is the Floss' favorite. Comments please. I'd like the readers to rank these in their favorite order.

HOW DRUNK WAS THE FLOSS LAST NIGHT?

Well he was drunk enough to borrow DROF's ID and get into Peter's Pub last night thanks to Pitt's own Dom Williams playing "guard" for Peter's Pub as well. Good to know he has a future as a guard at some level. Unlike previous Peter's experiences the Floss was virtually all alone. I entered with a friend, but not someone who the Floss really trusts. As we all know, the Floss' bar etiquette isn't exactly polished, but last night he was okay. Bought 2 pitchers for our table as a nice gesture. The Floss had a stacked wallet with 80 bones, but I didn't buy one shot. When I was sitting at my table, the Floss saw a girl that he was friends with. A very very hott girl. Once the Floss tried to serenade her with the great American classic, "The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani. So the Floss went to talk to her. After the hello's and how you doin's, she goes, "your not 21 at all are you?". What a cunt. Not exactly something to say to the Floss. But then I came back with, "you aren't either". We agreed. So the Floss with his little bar etiquette offered to buy said female a shot. Her reply, "I have an exam at 8 AM tomorrow" and she peaced the convo. What a cunt. After that experience, and the fact that the bar was wall to wall, the Floss decided to go home and drink his patented Vlad and lemonade. Morale of the story: Not every night I go to the bar has to end in an elevator, only the good ones.